Guilt and shame about pip award

congrats on your award but please don’t feel you don’t deserve it.

Sounds like you had a paper based assessment. This usually happens when you have provided enough information on your form. Detailed information or evidence that you provided. This is a good thing and not something you should feel ashamed of.

A lot of people fail at pip as they are new to the benefit and don’t really understand what is required of them.

I’ve had 2 assessments and 1 paper based. My first application I had to fight at Mr but thankfully I won that.

It’s down to knowledge an experience so given you have been awarded without an assessment you should feel happy and relieved.
Try an put it at the back of your mind now, I know it’s easier said than done.
just remind your self of the issues you struggle with every day and that’s why you have been awarded.

Hi there @chamomile54!

I was awarded PIP at the Higher Rate for both components several years ago when my indefinite award of DLA was ended. Like you, I had a paper assessment, having supplied evidence of my progressive condition in abundance.

When the award letter came through after five months, I felt a surge of relief. After that, I felt sort of flat. I’d been through too much physically and emotionally in dealing with all the paperwork and, of course, years of governmental, MSN and social media attacks on disabled people. Moreover, it brought back long term issues or guilt and shame at not having lived a normal life.

I have some understanding of how you feel but you’ve come a long way. Try to give yourself a very well earned pat on the back. There is no way you’ve been awarded too much!

All good wishes,

Zips

Sometimes comments get caught in the spam filter. When this happens it means they are not posted straight away but it's nothing to worry about. A member of the scope team will be starting work quite soon this morning and when they do they will post it here, so please wait a little while and it may appear.

I think I have similar feelings. I would say I feel more shocked, massively relieved, but bizarrely a lower mood than usual.

I also got my PIP award without having to go to assessment. So I get the 'it feeling too good to be true' part. My mum mentioned I seem more down since my award too. I think this is partly down to shock after so many years not applying when I was advised to, and I avoided this for so long because I was worried about an assessment - which I didn't even have to have.

I think the main reason this has my mood lower than usual, is I feel like if they have awarded me PIP without seeing or speaking to me, then this makes me realise just how bad my situation and difficulties have been all these years. Like I've been in denial for so long thinking I would snap out of it and be able to function normally, but it just hasn't happened. If that makes sense? I'm a little disappointed in myself that I've not been able to do what most other people can do, in terms of just general day-to-day living. I think I feel a little sad because at the back of my mind it feels like I've given up on myself.

I think my GP helped me come to terms with applying before I started the claim process, I've been advised to claim for years, by both an ESA assessor and CAB.

I did ask my GP what he thought about me claiming PIP. As I didn't want to go through the stress of it all, and potentially have to contemplate an assessment if my GP didn't feel I would be successful. His words were that he knows many people who claim PIP who have issues far less severe than mine. I think I just needed to hear that outside perspective outside of my own bubble, so I could gauge the likelihood of it being a worthwhile toll for me to try and put myself through.

Part of what has me worried now is the money itself. I've been living on ESA for the last 20 years so I think I am a little overwhelmed. I don't want it to build up and get me into any trouble, so I feel like I need to spend more than usual.

I think if I can manage to get my own place in the near future, having to pay 100% of all the utility bills and food for myself may boost my self-esteem some if I can manage to live on my own. It sounds like I'll be waiting years though, once I get my name down. In the meantime I do kind of feel more optimistic, like I may have some sort of possibility at a future of sorts. What shape thy takes, I have no idea, but it has to be better than being in my childhood bedroom as an adult.

PIP isn't means tested so savings do not affect it. If you're claiming means tested benefits then yes savings of more than £6,000 will affect them. The money owed to you from the PIP award is disregarded for 1 year.

If you are claiming means tested benefits then yes maybe you can increase the amount you give your mum. Or is there anything else you need for your home, maybe a new bed, or some other furniture that needs to be replaced?

Don't forget to treat yourself too because that's important, if you have the money to do that. Your PIP money can be spent on anything you want to.