wanting to act on suicidal thoughts?

emgrxx
emgrxx Community member Posts: 2 Listener
in Mental health and wellbeing

i have felt suicidal for almost a year now. its a constant thought that i cant get rid of. i have acted on them thoughts twice and recently i had planned it all out but didnt do it. i dont know if i can fight off the thoughts anymore. its draining me. does anyone have any advice on how to stop these thoughts from drowing my head everyday?

Comments

  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community member Posts: 16,466 Championing

    Hi @emgrxx - & welcome to this friendly & supportive community. Please, if you feel unsafe, go to A & E if you possibly can.

    Have you tried to get help from your GP letting them know how bad you've been feeling?

    There are some helplines (& a text service) listed here:

    https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/

    We're also here to simply listen should you wish.

  • vikki66
    vikki66 Community member Posts: 864 Empowering

    @emgrxx

    I just wanted to say that I’m sorry you’ve been going through this for so long. It’s awful, and I really feel for you. I’ve had a very long, very dark period myself (about the same length you’re mentioning, so I empathise. This isn’t my first time.

    I don’t know anything about your own circumstances, and wouldn’t ask you to go into them. There’s not any one thing that I can say, I wouldn’t want to say the wrong thing and upset you, also guessing on the best place to start when I don’t know you is hard.

    Are you safe tonight?

  • Autism_at_40
    Autism_at_40 Community member Posts: 877 Pioneering

    I can also empathise with you on this, as I have experienced my own fair share of thoughts, etc.

    I usually try and contact Samaritans, SHOUT or any one of those charities to try and help me.

    If you ever have a good day, grab a notebook and write down all the things you like about yourself, the people in your life (if applicable), the things you enjoy (even if it's just the morning sunshine, a good book or a cup of coffee), try and describe it in detail and how it makes you feel. Then when you have a bad day, read the book.

    I also have several boards on pinterest, funny things, cute things (cats etc), beautiful things (landscapes, sunsets, beautiful items etc). I look at these when I feel down.

    This picture never fails to make me smile.

    image.png

    You could watch your favourite TV show or films, something humourous.

    Play a game, candy crush, tetris, sims, etc whatever you can get into.

    I like to put on something relaxing from youtube, like singing bowls or just ambient sounds etc

    If you like to read, it's a good way to escape into another world.

    Sleep, sometimes just allowing yourself to sleep is good. If you feel like crying, just let it all out - it's very cathartic. Take a long shower or soak in a bath.

    I recently wrote down all the things that were bothering me, I had 45 on the list! I am now trying to work out a way through them all, but one at a time in small steps. Hopefully this will reduce the stress and anxiety I suffer with, so that in turn it will slow down the frequency of such destructive thoughts I have.

    I know none of these things may help for you, I hope they do and that you feel some sort of peace. Once you find things that work, make a note so that you can go back to them when you need to (I often forget).

    The community here is supportive. If you feel lost, you can always post on here. There is also the games section, it can help take your mind off things.

    I hope you feel better.

  • Autism_at_40
    Autism_at_40 Community member Posts: 877 Pioneering

    I would also say that, it might be the last thing you feel like doing, but I find that going for a walk really helps too.

  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,646 Online Community Programme Lead

    Good morning @emgrxx,

    I’m really sorry you’re feeling like this, but I do want to say that it’s really brave of you to reach out and share how you’re struggling. Suicidal thoughts can be incredibly overwhelming, and it’s important to know that you don’t have to fight them on your own.
    Have you been able to talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling? Whether it’s a friend, family member, or a professional, just opening up to someone can make a huge difference.

    There are also places that can support you right now—Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123, and if you’re not comfortable talking on the phone, you can email them at jo@samaritans.org for confidential support. It’s really important to reach out and not go through this alone. You deserve support, and there’s help available.

    I’m going to pop over an email in a little while, so please look out for that if you can.

  • Shellyj13
    Shellyj13 Community member Posts: 246 Contributor

    I too have those thoughts and have myself attempted suicide in the past.The good thing is that you are here seeking advice so you realise that there is hope and so much that can be done.I have found it helpful to email samaritans it's called Jo ( if you google).When you sometimes are at your absolute lowest you cannot hold on for 6 mins for someone to answer but putting thoughts down in an email helps.you won't necessarily get a reply the same day but just knowing that some stressful or complicated stuff is released from your brain helps.Also speaking with a g.p to a g.p is a must I would say X

  • Nightcity
    Nightcity Community member Posts: 1,147 Trailblazing
    edited October 5

    I'm so sorry you feel this way.

    I have a history myself of attempts and thoughts. I don't respond to any medication and The GP and mental health clinic both gently told me as my clinical depression is so unresponsive and regular It's on me and pot luck at having enough strength to stop and reset.

    also being autiscally mute with strangers and phone conversations not being an option it again falls back to me. But my case is definitely NOT typical and you've done a great thing coming here.

    there are some lovely people on this forum who will genuinely care and support you to the best of their ability, as well as many having personal experience of the situation.

    I know this will sound hypercritical after what I've written but I am a very empathetic person and Feel your value in this world is significant so thank you for reaching out and please continue to do so.

  • Kevin23
    Kevin23 Community member, Scope Member Posts: 13 Listener

    Hello how are u all.. have mobility issues and austium I'm getting weaker physical and head pains. I'm on medication nothing works really.. I'm a burden on people around me . Why do j feel this way when others are worse off I am weak un ungrateful . I saw a programme on how the government is encouraging euthanasia.. what is this about

  • Kevin23
    Kevin23 Community member, Scope Member Posts: 13 Listener

    Holo me again made a mistake posting that previous message .. I'm not suicidal ..sorry for the inconvenience

  • Nashota
    Nashota Community member Posts: 215 Empowering

    Sorry to read this, I also have suicidal thoughts but have never acted on them, I tend to try and keep my brain occupied with different things, sometimes it's a bit difficult because I have anxiety all of the time which is being made by certain things like the medical centre that I'm registered with. I was advised to find an hobby by the OT services.

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Community member Posts: 1,439 Pioneering
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/123507/wanting-to-act-on-suicidal-thoughts

    Ah this all to real for us it's always a plan if things go wrong always the way out to not feel or hurt anymore it's torturous it really is my heart feels your pain no one would understand the torment the physical pain it gives you the night's always the worst me myself I've been same since last budget how our brains never stop bullying us playing with us definitely tormenting us every minute every day You got to fight this you got to challenge your thoughts who knows what tomorrow brings and for me that's what scares me make me want out because if I can't see or control the future I seriously want out But I have to say no one knows then moments of terror playing out in my mind I will lose everything noting lasts forever hating and being cruel to myself YOU are so worth this life YOU are important YOU are not on your own express yourself on here so amazing you reached out keep on reaching we will get through this together The biggest warm hug from us all take it day by day and always be kind to yourself as I'm sure you are others keep safe 💖 we are here for you

  • Nightcity
    Nightcity Community member Posts: 1,147 Trailblazing

    I actually made a fully thought out plan for a last resort a while ago. I am tempted to screen shot the letter and upload it to an email to Kendall and Reeve's but they aren't worth a light.

    sending love to everyone

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Community member Posts: 1,439 Pioneering

    Because we are ill we can't help it I totally understand when you say people worse off and why do I feel like this we probley have all our life's we been living with constant pressure mental physical pain constant fight or flight mode its horrendous to never have a minute hour of peace so when you say burden no your not I don't think alot of people could deal with what we do its valid you are valid in your thoughts and feelings I've had enough of feeling ashamed its just adds more pressure pls be kind to yourself

  • Nightcity
    Nightcity Community member Posts: 1,147 Trailblazing
    edited October 6

    absolutely Anxiety is vicious I get nasty physical symptoms when it's out of control.

    a common one is painful fasciculations in the lower legs (muscle twitches);that last days.

    but it's ok it's only "mild" according to that pilchard Mel stride

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Community member Posts: 1,439 Pioneering
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/918473#Comment_918473

    Oh yes and we all feel a bit bluesy sob sob oh and everyone these days says have adhd autism err yes alot of females have been misdiagnosed!! So yes alot of ladies starting thinking everything makes sense terrible how they mentally abuse us shouldn't be allowed

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