Staying in bed
I’ve been in bed for 6 days , just feel like I can’t deal with the outside world anymore, curtains closed and can’t be bothered with anything .
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Thats been my life for the past 5 and a half years , near enough bedbound .... Not even been in the garden , no muscle in my body , aches , pains , no contact with the outside world , no sunlight on my skin .... From the moment I wake up just a constant series of rituals and the most awful intrusive thoughts you could think of .... I finish just in time to scare myself silly about bank surveillance and them finding old closed bank accounts and PayPal's from years ago because I caught a gambling addiction because of my loneliness , or worry myself sick about changes to benefits .... It was hard enough just dealing with reassessments....once thats done there's just enough time to get a few hours of broken sleep before I open my eyes and go through the exact same thing the next day .... Over and over and over , it's unbearable , isn't it 😌
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I stayed in bed yesterday and today.
There is nothing to get up for stuck in this place alone.
The weather is too cold and miserable to go out.
I am so fed up with the uncertainty of what potential benefit reforms will be made.
People say we shouldn't worry but its hard not to when our very existence depends upon having to rely on benefits.
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Sounds rough @letitbe, I hope things start feeling easier soon. Is there anyone you can reach out to if you need some support? We're here if you just want to rant about stuff.
We've popped you an email so please look out for that 😊
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thanks Rosie
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oh u have intrusive thoughts as well ? They are absolutely horrible. All the anxiety about DWP reforms makes everything worse I know . I used to go out 2/3 times a week but now it’s once if I’m lucky. What have u been diagnosed with and don’t have any support ? I hardly have any support .
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I know - the constant uncertainty makes everything worse . Do you have any support ? I totally get you about relying on benefits .
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do u have a cat? I love cats and would absolutely love to have one but would struggle to look after it atm . I hope to have one in future though :)
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Serve OCD 😌
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ocd can wreck everything- most people think it’s just checking things constantly but there’s so much more that’s so destructive. Any therapy ? Meds ?
I worry about all this surveillance stuff as well , I already have paranoia coz of my MH diagnoses so this makes it even worse .0 -
No I don't have any support.
I find the days so long and lonely at this time of the year.
Its cold and I can only afford to put my heating on for a short time so I stay in bed to keep warm.
I'm looking forward to warmer weather but I live in a seaside resort and we get overwhelmed with tourist.
I find the crowds of people so stressful.
It disrupts our daily life so much just trying to get shopping and prescriptions, let alone find a seat available to sit and enjoy the views.
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Yes alot over the years , stay in the priory , people that come to my home , different meds
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Sorry to hear you’ve been in bed for days, I hope you are managing to eat, I know it’s easier said than done but try not to worry about the dwp / government don’t let them win
Take care of yourself
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that sounds terrible
I live in a busy city and absolutely hate it - I’d love to live in a quiet peaceful village away from most people .
I hope you get to enjoy the sea views sometimes , I can only imagine how busy seaside resorts get and how stressful it can be for year round residents.
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it’s good you have some support, I know how bad MH can be though and even with support it can all get too much .
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thanks so much apples
I have been eating but just can’t face anyone or outside atm .
I hope you’re doing a bit better0
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