Mental health

WhatThe

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1090478#Comment_1090478

You certainly do have a kind heart! You are a kind soul. Blaming ourselves is something we learn to do over the course of a very long time. Unlearning any habit takes time but the most important thing is you have started. Understanding your autism is going to be life-changing and you have our support but it's bl**dy hard. You're not imagining it; it really is.

🍓

Strawberry1

Thanks @WhatThe

Your kindness is appreciated

Strawberry1

Look after yourself please @WhatThe

Strawberry1

When Im told by someone that my kids dont care about me now that hurts alot

I dunno what to believe

Why do I have to keep facing all these issues

Id love a break from curve balls being thrown at me .

Adrian_Scope

Who tells you that @Strawberry1?

One thing I’d say is that the only people who truly know how your kids feel about you are your kids themselves. Other people's opinions can be incredibly damaging, especially when they’re spoken as if they’re facts, when there is no real way for them to know what is in your childrens' hearts.

Silence, busyness, or distance doesn’t automatically mean lack of care. Children, especially adult children, are complicated. They’re often juggling work, relationships, stress, figuring out who they are, and trying to build their own lives. Sometimes that means they don’t show up in ways that look like “care,” even when the care is still very much there.

Listen to your own heart and what it tells you and try not to let someone else’s words drown that out.

Strawberry1

The person who telling me this is very inconsiderate .

Thank so much for your time @Adrian_Scope .

I wish i was as clever as you

Take care

Best wishes always

WhatThe

Hello Strawberry 🍓

Is he actually talking about himself? He doesn't sound very caring. Was he a mummy's boy and always adored? Was he the perfect son to her? Silly so-and-so for using the most precious people in your life to hurt you with 😣

WhatThe

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1090407#Comment_1090407

Hi Zippy, I've been wondering how you are (no obligation to reply)

A good day for me is getting washed, dressed and out; tasks which were once second nature to me. I always feel better for the change of scenery and occasionally exchanging a few words with someone. The rest of the time I spend alone but outdoors is my happy place.

You already know how therapeutic green spaces are and you know how to motivate yourself, always setting manageable goals to rebuild your confidence and strength. You are an inspiration to some of us on this forum! I can't write much but you do so in depth.

I agree that the right diet is important for wellbeing. I'm mostly LowFODMAP and an emergency meal for me would be microwavable rice and tinned fish - delicious smothered with balsamic vinegar and lemon juice. Lidl sells pre-cooked quinoa which takes just 2 minutes to heat! Anything with onion garlic chilli peppercorn makes me feel rubbish so no take-aways for me.

I was out for hours yesterday in blinding winter sun and today I've done the bare minimum. I had to be instructed in how to be more gentle with myself because it doesn't come easily. Being alone is also not easy which is why many of us use the Scope forum to make connections.

🌵

Strawberry1

Hello @WhatThe , ive no idea .

I dont have the knowledge to answer those questions

Sorry

Hope you are ok .

Please take care

WhatThe

You don't need to answer them, Strawberry!

I'm ok, thanks for asking.

WhatThe

Last week was surprisingly good but two good weeks in a row? I won't hold my breath 😄

Strawberry1

The only knowledge i know what the is they clashed with thier parents @WhatThe

Thats all i know

Im glad you have had a decent couple of weeks

Look after yourself

Thanks again for all your kindness

WhatThe

Strawberry, you're not responsible for his unmet needs so you must believe in yourself and what you know.

Adrian said, One thing I’d say is that the only people who truly know how your kids feel about you are your kids themselves. Other people's opinions can be incredibly damaging, especially when they’re spoken as if they’re facts, when there is no real way for them to know what is in your childrens' hearts.

Adrian is spot on. How can children influence parental relationships even when they themselves are adults? Tricky. They may assume that you know how to fix this when you don't - that's not your fault, either! Don't be afraid to confide in them or imagine that you are burdening them. Older generations didn't share 'personal' matters but we can do things differently with our children.

Strawberry1

I appreciate everything you say @WhatThe

Thanks

WhatThe

My mum really only shared adult things with me in her later years. In her final weeks of a sudden decline, she mentioned how much she had adored her own mother. How had I never known something like that? It still baffles me because I would have liked her so much more if I'd had any inkling 😆

WhatThe

It's goodnight from me. This has been a long session and I'm wiped!

Wishing you a peaceful night, Strawberry 🍓

Strawberry1

I hope its not me whats caused you to feel so wiped @WhatThe .

Thank you for all your kindness , support and time and feedback .

Take care

Rest easy

Strawberry1

Take care @WhatThe

Best wishes Always

WhatThe

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1090865#Comment_1090865

Ha ha no, it's the strain of staring at a screen! And the strain of thinking 😆

Strawberry1

Bless you @WhatThe

So pleased i didnt rock the boat

Look after yourself