How is your day going?

Holly_Scope

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1064125#Comment_1064125

Aww really pleased you got seen today @Amberpearl and that the lumps were bites. Hopefully you're antibiotics kick in quickly for your hand 😊

Schildpad

i am back home… as i said i am ok while with people but then back to feeling down once i am back home. i am a bit happier when i am out with people but then, right now i am just bad. Time to relax or try to and tomorrow will be another day.

Grumpy what they are doing to you is very very unfair. i hope you can be seen tomorrow.

Anyway good evening and good night.

66Mustang

Sorry to hear that @Grumpy1314. It's awful how the GP system treats patients isn't it? 🙁

I hope your tactics in the morning work out.

I'm struggling with feeling like a bad person again today. I can't get my mind round how it's okay for society to say actually malicious things that upset me, but I'm not allowed to say non-malicious things that go against the conventional views.

I know it's all to do with tribalism and no one is singling me out for ab,use but my mind makes it so I'm the most horrible person 🙁

Schildpad

my incident last time was not me even if was me… i am very good nature person but also can get angry for no reason or little reason… i do not like that person.. i get upset very easily and need to learn to calm down and think before acting… but the older i get the harder it gets. that incident would not have happened if i were thinking before saying or acting. (but yet again it is too late and i have to put it aside and try to forget and learn from it.) i would feel better. i am feeling as a said again down. i also have a strange feeling that if i am in a good mood like i was while i was around people today someone might take it against me as if you are in a good mood today you can not be sick….and i was told i was in a good mood . i always feel like i have spies around me.. even in this centre, i suspect of one person.. but then again it is in my head… or maybe not. but i will never know. i hope things will get better. i can only hope.

66Mustang

@Schildpad

That's interesting about worrying people'll think you're well when you're in an upbeat mood. It's crossed my mind before, but I've never really paid it lots of thought.

I've found people with struggles are sometimes the most cheerful!! I guess I'd say just express whatever you're feeling, don't mask, but that's easy to say I know

xodza

good morning to everyone hope all is well it’s beautiful day here won’t be going out as still struggling with my disability that affects my mobility just keep busy doing puzzles games

luvpink

Good morning.

We have a bit of rain here today.

I am intending to catch up on three episodes of Corrie I have recorded.

Schildpad

I took my medicines later yesterday so I slept badly. Now I feel lethargic. Also again I am awake and scared. I hate the feeling. I need to go to the supermarket..

I feel some people are even trying to make me feel guilty because I have some good moments. How unfair.

I need to get some strength to go to the supermarket but I think i am not leaving home afterwards..

66Mustang

@Schildpad

I'm sorry to hear how you feel.

I often feel people make me feel guilty for having my health problems. My CPTSD gets triggered when I read things that suggests I'm a bad person. It's co-morbid with my gender dysphoria and I often feel society is out to tell me I'm horrible because of my gender (which I don't even align with!). When I try to explain being born male doesn't make me bad then people think I'm being old-fashioned or right wing when I'm not because I'm not defending all men I'm just defending myself

If I was a proud male it'd be different but to be put in a box that I didn't ask to be put in and then criticised for supposedly being in that box makes me feel really horrible

Nicebrit

Morning all, apologies for not posting in what seems ages. Life seems to be taking its toll on me.

Been keeping busy not through choice. Just finding life really tough at present.

Hope you're all keeping okay

Best wishes

Me

Schildpad

Trying to cope. I feel I am pushing myself. I can not change what happened I am out in the supermarket. I need and I hope it doesn't rain.....

66Mustang

I don't know what to do, I just want someone to reassure me

I'm so needy and stupid I know and I'm sorry, I just want someone to make me feel ok

I'm sorry for posting as I'm not worth reading anyway, I'm sorry for everything and for being horrible, I'm just sorry

Schildpad

@66Mustang life is very unfair. It is pack with mistakes and wrongdoing. I am sorry. You are not needed..you need comfort. I do write here for comfort and being understood and accepted. I feel awful but at times not even writing here helps. As they say. Good times will come at the right time. I just hope they will come to you soon. You are neither stupid. You need reassurance everything will be ok.. I have to believe there will be some closure and things will change to the way they were even if they were not ok.and do not feel sorry for looking for some sympathy. We all need it .

Anyway back home and I will remain here.. tomorrow will be another day.

66Mustang

You're kind @Schildpad

I think I want understanding rather than sympathy, I hate feeling misunderstood, I guess you can relate?

66Mustang

You're kind @Schildpad

66Mustang

@Schildpad I think I want to feel understood rather than sympathy if that makes sense?

Schildpad

@66Mustang thank you. Yes I do. I always felt the odd one out in my family and out there. And maybe that is difficult .I only feel understood in some settings but it is hard to be understood.. In particular disability wise. Few people get it. I would just try to get on with life the best you can. It is good to not deal with people who do not understand you or make you feel bad and only keep those who you know you care or you feel they care for you. I have cut off wih some people in my life. But it is not easy.

66Mustang

@Schildpad

I totally get about only engaging with people who understand, and can see why you'd do that.

I guess I'm a bit like my dog, too optimistic 😆. Like my dog, I'll engage with anyone, assuming everyone might be a friend, only to realise there are people who - without knowing me - decide I'm an enemy based on things like how I look, gender, disability etc.

66Mustang

I'm off to go to a group now but thanks @Schildpad it meant a lot

Schildpad

weather is bad and with the weather so is my mood. feeling rather down. i am going to relax and try to cheer up watching tv.. but it is a long day until bed time… and i am not keen on yet another day tomorrow. but tomorrow i have something to do. and at least i will be busy for a few hours.. even though i will be back before 3 pm. Tomorrow at least my mind will be busy and i will not be thinking about anything.