How is your day going?

luvpink

I am so tired today but I'm going to make the effort to go out later for some fresh sea air.

Amberpearl

I'm. Very tired today

Schildpad

@Elvisdog @Catherine21

It is to do with childhood trauma. Yes.. I am working on stuff.. I will keep cleaning. My goal is to reduce the amount of stuff etc.. to buy less and hopefully I will feel better.

Tomorrow I got that phonecall from the.dwp about the new style ESA. Not sure. I thought ESA was not more… anyway. I hope it will be ok. But always scared they will trick me..

I am on my Monday stuff. But back at home by 4 pm I hope. It is hard to keep going .. I need to start considering a part time job but I am not sure what could I do . I can't picture myself doing it....

Schildpad

I am ok but I normally feel worse in the evenings.. the days are long .... But I am going to places I have to go to see some people because I spend a lot and I mean a lot of my time on my own... I need to change things about myself . My mindset. Hopefully one day I would be able to do something. Workwise.

Catherine21

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1053043#Comment_1053043

I have bpd too awaiting adhd test also yh I took myself off online banking as I was checking what I had and was spending it or sometimes I'd have in it my basket thinking had noting in account and press pay and it's ordered I did that with 100 pound worth of creams yes it is from childhood trauma just started that with pshyctrisis god can't spell it very traumatic to say the lease that's good your getting help I love when you find things you forgot about

Elvisdog

@Schildpad it's really good that you are working through things, it's not easy and it's a long journey but it's a start and seeing empty boxes is such a big achievement . Take things at your own pace, you are doing this for yourself and you sound like you are in a better place.

Im not totally understanding of the new ESA, I went through transion from ESA SG to UC but I kept an element of the disability premium with ESA which I receive every two weeks, UC take the amount they pay me from how much they pay me monthly, I didn't want a payment each month, which can be 5weeks for the longer months, having some of my money fortnightly helps me manage my money better. Speaking to the ESA help line helped me understand what I was able to do. I don't know if there is a point where everything is done by UC but while it lasts that's what I'm sticking too.

Ranald

Had powerchair demo, getting Quickie 700M, with raise and tilt. Very impressed.

Elvisdog

@Catherine21 I had my diagnosis over two decades ago. At first I was really upset, I had been under mental health seeing psychiatrist and my care coordinator. They sent me a letter covering my last appointment, on it was letters and numbers stating a diagnosis I looked them all up on line and i was totally bewildered, at that time I read different magazines another one of my habits. I read the article on the English nanny accused of killing a child, it said she had BPD, i got the information over a weekend and I was out of my mind. My coordinator had seen the diagnosis on my letter and knew exactly what I would do and called me before I could call her. It took alot of discussions before I understood the criteria for the diagnosis I finally came to terms with it, I helped run a mental health group, we all have different diagnosis and stories, they became very close friends and love them dearly, ive not been well enough to see them since Christmas but I'll keep on working on getting better enough to get back to our Monday meetings.

It's good that you are getting mental health support, it's not easy i had sessions what made me physically ill but keep with it, it will get easier being able to talk to people who understand is important, I only discussed things that I felt comfortable with at first but eventually I felt safe enough to share my trauma, my sister was the only other person who knew everything as she went through it too. She passed in 2008, miss her terribly. I.hope everything goes well for you, and sorry for going on, this is one of the reasons my family think I've got ADHD lol.

Schildpad

@Elvisdog thank you,, yes step by step. it is very hard for me to make decisions or do simple tasks like throwing stuff away. Yes i have a call tomorrow and i hope it will be quick. i need to know what will be the final amount but it is dreading to think i might not get the same or maybe a lot less. i wont be happy if it is a lot less. but i need all my expenses covered. i will see next month. it is complicated… i have not received a monthly salary since i was working… i think it is probably better before. every two weeks. But i will see.. in a way i hope uc is enough money with housing benefit. but i believe you need the new style of Esa to top it up.. i am new universal credit and new style esa on this and i still do not understand the whole thing. But i only hope it will be quick and they will not harass me. i am very tired about the whole thing. i feel i am always fighting. i am dreading they will stop the new esa and i will have not enough with the universal credit. i am always worry…… always..

michael57

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1053128#Comment_1053128

well done fella

Amberpearl

I'm. Nodding off

Ranald

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1053165#Comment_1053165

Free entry to the 'fitba', but as a fan, i'll Just settle for the prime spot and buy my ticket.

Schildpad

Good night. Anyway time to watch some telly. I hope tomorrow will be ok. But I am very scared about tomorrow .

I hope it will be ok.. hope you all have a nice and restful night ..