Mum who has done everything for her sin since childhood

Scottishcity24
Scottishcity24 Online Community Member Posts: 3 Listener
edited July 2024 in Families and carers

My partner has basically done everything for her son since childhood. He's almost 28 and the only thing he can do without prompting is make his tea, putting it into the oven.

He's autistic, ADHD and has learning disabilities, depression and severe anxiety issues. He has said in the past "why should I" and I'm lazy, so what, he practically begs his mum to do things for him. I'm really getting to the end of my tether with the situation at home. He lies at the drop of a hat, about the silliest small things, like a child would do.

Any help or advice would be appreciated

Comments

  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 9,103 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Hey @Scottishcity24 and welcome to the community.

    Though doesn't sound easy at all, I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have any support from your GP, or other services? I can see some other people have been offering support over on your other discussion.

  • Nightcity
    Nightcity Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 3,314 Championing

    As someone autistic in a very similar situation I hope you don't mind me sharing my thoughts.

    My mother is my carer and only family, I'm 41. I literally spend all day everyday panicking about losing her and the future to the point it takes over my life.

    She does everything for me that I can't such as cook and wash the clothes.

    I am stubborn and can't genuinely can't change my routine or perform new tasks without issues. I have a lot of other complications such as clinical depression, anxiety, dyslexia, judgement and memory impairments etc.

    Everyone is different but please believe me I really don't think he's doing it deliberately, some of us autistics have an unfortunate way with words and we are also grateful and aware just how lucky we are to have our mum's in these cases.

    I don't know about the lying part as lying is something I'm against and never do.

    All this sad the situation is unfair on you all and he maybe needs a gentle reminder of how you feel.