Hi, my name is NOTLONGNOW!
I do need help with life
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Hi, what is it in particular you need help/support with?
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Hi @NOTLONGNOW and welcome to the community 😊
There's lots of things we can support you with, just let us know what you need.
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Just getting older and do not like it
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I understand. Have you been to see your GP ?
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no not yet. i should
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Just perked up my interest at that - Can a GP stop you getting older now?
[removed by moderator - insensitive]
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we live in Hope?
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If there is a suggestion someone is feeling down about ageing (or indeed anything) then yes, it is wise to see your GP if it helps to stave off or treat depression/anxiety ???
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depends on what’s bothering you about ageing, if it’s ageing itself, no, you’re right lol. But if it’s becoming/becoming more disabled, injured or ill, sometimes yeah they can help, and there’s no less reason to see if you can get help, whether the disability/illness is happening at any age.
My family that care for my Nan don’t take her to the drs for anything anymore, even stuff that’s treatable or she could have relief from like her feet swelling from water retention which runs in my family, because they say “she’s old not sick/disabled” and get annoyed at me when I offer to get the district nurses to come see if they can help, I’m so sad I can’t get there to take her myself because she does say she wants that when I call her.
(I’m going on a tangent, not saying you think like that mate)
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its just got me down a bit
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Is there anything in particular about aging or just life in general that's getting you down @NOTLONGNOW?
I hope we can provide a bit of company and support if you need to talk about things 😊
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henn Thank goodness you care, and have found out. This is really shocking elder abuse. What would you do if you knew a family were refusing to permit one person to have medical care? A child? The one member of the family who had a different skin colour? Or a different religion? Ageism is illegal. So is all neglect and abuse. I have no idea how to report this, especially if your nan cannot escape domestic abuse. There is an organisation originally called Action Against Elder Abuse, but now, they have changed the name to Hourglass. Maybe they would advise. Would Silverline? Do you know the doctor involved? Could you write, not giving your name? Could you contact nan's MP? Actually, to be fair, the family may at least to some extent believe that they are doctors and can be certain there is no treatment for anything, beyond a certain age…. Even doctors used to have a "it's your age" response, which ought to have been stamped out.
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probably midlife crisis
my beautiful wife retired last week officially and I retire mid November don’t like the thought of change I will probably be asking a few more in-depth questions regarding finance and things within the next couple of weeks. Thank you for your kind replies.
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@NOTLONGNOW, It's always a bit scary to consider what'll happen in the future after big life changes, so it's understandable that you're feeling a bit mixed up about it.
Please do feel free to ask any questions when you're ready. We've got some lovely members who are very knowledgeable about financial and benefits things so I'm sure you'll get some good advice 😊
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TY 🤗
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Thankyou so much, yeah it definitely is, I probably should have put a trigger warning sorry.
trigger warning for abuse. my family just shuns anyone that gets sick to be honest, me, my dad, and my grandad have all had it as well, so she might not get care if the family do start seeing her as sick or disabled, so it’s a tricky one. I have called social services and a few places before, but I used to live in that area and they’re particularly rubbish (one of the reasons I moved and it’s so much better here) and they just bothered about if the rest of the family were willing to stay with her, and they said yes so, that was it. and the family shut down other places I’ve tried. I’m just hoping they put her in a care home soon, or get carers in to help, they’re not always great but she’s not getting proper care where she is, it’s my Nan that keeps refusing that one so I do keep telling her how much help they’ve been to me hoping she’ll change her mind. She’s been in one for a few weeks at a time while the rest of the family are on holiday, and she does like the local one. (Sorry if this sounds like I’m not doing enough but my family’s been abusive to me before, I’m severely ill and I don’t have power of attorney set up for my partner yet, so they can swoop in and cause hell if I cause a fuss. I’m on that though, just taking a while.)1 -
Ah that’s a shame, I hope retirement turns out to be surprisingly enjoyable and you get some help with your headspace about it. 🫂
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