Lcwra

mikeblue

Hi all. I am a single dad with 2 children and I am on lcwra. I have recently found out I have a 1 year old child, my question is do I need to report I have a 3rd child even though the child will not be staying with me and I do not have any type of relationship with the child's mother.

mikeblue

Hi Biblioklept. Thanks for the quick response. It's been a real shock finding out I have another child tbh.

Albus_Scope

Welcome to the community @mikeblue that must've been quite the call to take! AS Biblioklept has said, you only need to let the DWP know about children that live with you, or you look after regularly.

mikeblue

@Biblioklept it's kinda crazy tbh. The mother literally wanted to meet me and literally dropped it like this " you have a child with me that's 1yr old" she went onto say she'll be going abroad for 7 months for work and the child will be my priority while she's away. We have done all relevant tests to prove the child is mine. I'm really distraught by all this shock I have 2 kids already and we all live with my parents. I suffer from depression and bipolar disorder and this is really pushing me over the edge atm. I wish the mother told me along time ago as I've lost 1yr of the child's life.

mikeblue

@Biblioklept I am feeling mentally destroyed by all of this. Obviously I don't know how to explain this to uc I feel so embarrassed about all this. I mean what do I say? Do i say the child will stay with me for for a few months? I

mikeblue

I know I won't receive more money for the child element . Me and my 2 children stay with my parents as I need alot of help bringing them up so the rent element isn't included. I just don't know how to put it to universal credit- I have a kid that I just found about... that's 1yr old... he may or may not stay with me for a few months... @

Kim8

I can imagine your shock! I don't understand how the mother has the nerve to have only just let you know about the child! 7 months is a long time to be away from a baby too.

mikeblue

@Kim8 tell me about it! I just got off the phone with her and she's adamant she'll be going for 7/8 months and she's saying I have no choice to take care of the little one. I will do it its just I don't know how'll I'll feel when the time comes when I have to hand the baby back. I will have to tell the job center just incase my Lcwra/uc money gets stopped.

Kim8

Are you on the birth certificate? The baby doesn't even know you, so is going to be so unsettled. Some people should never have children. This must be so difficult for you.

mikeblue

@Kim8 yes she put me on the certificate. she's been extremely unreasonable about things since she told me about the baby, demanding things etc. I honestly don't know what to do, obviously I will do the right thing and be there for the baby, that's all I can do right now.

Kim8

I wish you all the very best, don't let her take advantage of you. See if you are entitled to legal aid and get advice from a Family Law solicitor. Or go to the citizens advice.

Woodview1

Woodview1

please be sure she will come back very strange a woman leaving a small baby she must have no loving feelings

mikeblue

@Woodview1 she'll be apparently going because of work and I found out today her bf will also be going. I feel totally destroyed this week,I have no words.

Catherine21

I can imagine the shock maybe in time it will become easier and you will grow to have a relationship poor baby will be an adjustment period for them to leave a young child is unforgivable and selfish I admire you for doing the right thing I hope all works out for you

Woodview1

Woodview1

thinking of your parents as I have grandchildren difficult for them another child in the house a lot of work poor little baby can’t help but feel she is heartless

mikeblue

I just wanted to say thank you to all for the feedback. I left a message on my journal saying that I have another child etc, they verified him the same day. The baby is settling in but the poor thing needs his mother as he cries alot , the mother is abroad now and hasn't even called to see the baby.

Woodview1

so sorry for you and the baby am lost to even to understand any mother doing that has she other children there is never a reason to leave a baby of that age hard for you