Friends?

Elliotdoesntknow
Elliotdoesntknow Online Community Member Posts: 5 Listener
in Start here and say hello!

I managed to fix my wheelchair going off in different directions. I think the joystick wasn’t screwed in properly! So I feel a little more confident in that sense.

I guess this post is a little update… I still feel quite lonely. I am waiting soo long just to know what is wrong with me (8 months) and my concern is waiting that 8 months and still having someone say they don’t know… being put on a different wait list.

I just wish something could be done..

I also wish I knew how to make new friends I’m struggling so much with being trapped inside sometimes or being anxious when I’m able to get out.

Dunno how to make friends if I’m honest just feels soo difficult that I don’t even try because I get so confused by it…

Does anyone feel the same?

Elliot

Comments

  • teuchterlass
    teuchterlass Online Community Member Posts: 27 Contributor

    Hi Elliot

    Fairly recently have had 4 strokes and epilepsy - thought processes, 📝 ry and verbalisation are completely different, many other changes too.

    Folk I thought were my friends no longer bothered, I used to really work trying to maintain the friendships and gave up trying when getting nothing back. I still have very very long term friends who continue our friendships.

    I now go to sports centre, knitting/sewing groups, brain injury group, lunch groups, chest heart and stroke survivors, choir, community gardening group any group to get me out in community mixing with people.

    Over time you eventually will make friends as long as you don't rush to be over friendly with everyone. Take it slowly and easy, you'll discover you then have lots of people around and you enjoy their company.

    There are many people out there lonely and frightened to make the step of getting out, being interested in other people - the world does not revolve around you, share being nice and lots of smiles even though it can be hard. That one smile you make, that one word of kindness and interest can change someone's world.

    Go out and make a difference to the world - and yours. xx

  • durhamjaide2001
    durhamjaide2001 Scope Member Posts: 12,407 Championing

    Where abouts in the UK are you from Elliot?

  • Kev1n
    Kev1n Online Community Member Posts: 15 Connected

    Elliot I feel as though I am in a similar position but a little more difficult.

    I left to join the army at 17, met my then wife and then left the army. Everyone I knew from my school days had gone and I very quickly discovered the ones that were left were not so much as friends, more users, take what they wanted never to be seen again.

    After nearly thirty years of marriage my wife decided she no longer loved me although we still lived in the same house, her upstairs, me down.

    That Was twelve years ago, now my wife, still married by law if nothing else, has been diagnosed with Vascular dementia a truly horrible disease that evolves very quickly. I have a carer come for thirty minutes of a morning and again of an evening with two very young ladies who sit with her for two hours twice a week.

    I myself have health issues, I can walk but not far or very fast but with what is going on in my life i cannot get out much. I have thought about dating sites, which strikes me with fear being quite shy when it comes to the fairer sex, but the reviews every single one of these sites gets makes you realise they are all just money making gimmicks, so what can you do?

    I have discovered that my old regiment has yearly reunions at Bkackpool so I have gone out of my comfort zone and booked for next April whilst organising cover to take care of my wife.

  • Elliotdoesntknow
    Elliotdoesntknow Online Community Member Posts: 5 Listener
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/922171#Comment_922171

    I’m in Hertfordshire. :)

  • Elliotdoesntknow
    Elliotdoesntknow Online Community Member Posts: 5 Listener
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/922181#Comment_922181

    that does sound like an intensely difficult situation. Hard to make time for yourself I’m guessing.

    Yeah dating sites can be quite stressful I agree with that statement. Have you tried friendship side of certain places? That might be a good start.

    I hope you try to find time for you today. Take care

  • Elliotdoesntknow
    Elliotdoesntknow Online Community Member Posts: 5 Listener
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/922169#Comment_922169

    I truly feel like when I’m out I usually am thinking about others and making sure everyone around me is safe… it’s less of a revolving around me situation and more of a I need to be there for everyone at all times but having my wheelchair means I actually can’t and that is really difficult to bare sometimes.

    I even have panic attacks if I see someone in need and can’t help. So yeah I’m not really a sort of person that thinks along those lines x

  • teuchterlass
    teuchterlass Online Community Member Posts: 27 Contributor

    Kev1n

    Have you tried forces/veterans breakfast club, usually about once a month, meet folk with similar experiences, they can often point you in direction of advice/help for exforces - and there can be a lot of help if advised correctly.

    Needing help contact SSAFA for emotional as well as practical and financial support.

    Ex forces myself and also volunteered with SSAFA.

  • Jimm_Scope
    Jimm_Scope Posts: 5,409 Scope Online Community Specialist

    If you're lucky enough to still have a local library you would be surprised how many events can be found there to take part. Many local libraries should also be accessible or be able to make adjustments to be accessible. I know Hertfordshire do run some events like these at their libraries. I hope this could be an option for you @Elliotdoesntknow

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