Burden

Bluebell21

How are you feeling today? @Agnia Please take care of yourself.

Agnia

Thank you so much Bluebell for asking , i went through a whole range of feelings, i feel sorry for the people who said to me those words not because i put myself above them but because i love them and i know that life in Poland can be hard , and i also know that i don’t deserve to be sent to work because i have traveled a heroic path i gave so much energy to my work and i ended up with extreme burnout , i still can’t get over it , i really needed the closeness of my family and not to buy a kitten as it was suggested to me , i cried over every homeless cat on the street, i paid £4000 to save the cat because the animals life was very important for me , i still cant get over the shock to everything i heard

Kind regards

Bluebell21

Hi @Agnia I am so sorry this hurt you so much. It is always worse when it is family doing it, as we expect more from them.

You have obviously worked very hard and wore yourself doing this.

Have you ever considered counselling to help you with your past upset? Where I live we have Talking Therapies where you can do a self referral on line.

Take care.

Amaya_Ringo

Reading through your comments, I don't think you sound like a burden at all. But it does feel like the words said to you by other people have become a burden on you and that's not okay.

Remember that these things are not one way. You are entitled to be hurt or upset about a situation, even if other people don't feel the same way. Not agreeing with their assessment doesn't mean you're a burden.

I'm sorry you're feeling homesick for Poland :(

My grandfather was my last living grandparent, and he passed when I was 17. After that, I started lighting candles for all my grandparents in churches, cathedrals, even shrines and such, both in the UK and overseas. Every time I do it I feel like I'm connected to those people who are no longer here. Where I'm remembering them has become less important than the act of remembrance. I don't know whether you have the ability to travel at all, or if there is somewhere in your local community where you could light a candle and remember your grandfather?

Agnia

Thank you very much Bluebell🌷♥️those we love hurt us the most , yes i worked very hard, i had therapy from which i was discharged after 4 sessions and i didn’t find this helpful, i needed closeness to family, i would never say such words to my child as i heard its a shock for me to hear the words i heard , my entire life here has been devoted to work

Thank you so much Nightcity ♥️🌷💚 for your friendly and kind words about me, i really appreciate your kindness

Thank you very much Amaya 🌻♥️for writing here about your grandparents and about your life , i can’t fly to Poland at the moment , i burn candles at my flat here

my life would have turned out differently if i had received the help i asked for

Kind regards

i called every charity in the city i was born in to contact my mother when she blocked me

Agnia

Thank you very much eeL♥️🌷, my illness and when i got sick was only a problem for them and my cry for help , i wrote to her many times and i was blocked ,( when i was healthy she liked my photos on instagram, she blocked me on instagram later as well) i don’t use social media anymore, the lady who founded the charity in Poland whom i called to ask for help was understanding me and she contacted my mother and then my brother treated the lady very badly telling her not to contact my mother again, he also was saying to me not to write to my mother and other things happened too, i even wrote to the Red Cross, i really cant wrap my head around that he was telling to me that i should pull myself together and go to work and for me its already very difficult that im not able to work

Please take care

Agnia

i really have a lot of empathy for animals, i didnt buy anything for myself because the animal life was more important to me than my needs and i saved this life , and telling me that if i feel lonely ( when i need family and closeness) that i should buy a cat i have no words for such words to me

Agnia

Hi eeL,

Thank you really so much for sharing about your life and for these kind words towards me i really do thank you , please take care

Hi Nightcity,

Thank you so much for writing here and for sharing about your family, please take care

Kind regards

Agnia

eeL♥️