Alone

checkmate99

How to cope with christmas?? Any advice I'm 45 yr old women and I'm struggling to know how to handle it .everyone's getting ready spending time with love ones .I could cry

cleoptra12

Feel sorry for u are there no community centres near u u could join or anywhere u could do voluntary work. At least it will get u out of the house and take your mind off it and u might make some new friends.

WhatThe

Hi checkmate, it's ok to cry about Christmas! Lots of us do. I'll also be on my own but getting used to that as the years go by..

Is this your first Christmas alone?

cheles99

i felt the same when i lost my hubby spoil yours self get some nice food go for a walk

checkmate99

How do you deal with the overwhelming feeling? No one to hug or say happy christmas on the day .it's the simple things. It's painful

Elizabeth100

Voluntary work at a Christmas shelter for homeless people is what someone I know did last year, but that has to suit you too. It is a tricky time…others just watch films and eat food that makes it feel special. When I lived abroad I hosted people alone on Christmas evening…is there anyone you can invite to share the evening with you who lives nearby so it's not a big deal to get home that night? Take care, E xxx

Bluebell123

Hi checkmate99 …. Do you have any friends in the same situation as you? If so maybe you could invite them over for a few hours. Share the cooking and the cost of the food. Watch TV together etc.

I have 2 adult children but I have spent Christmas day alone twice. Daughter was on holidays abroad and my son was at his fathers. But it did not bother me at all as I live alone, it was just like any other day to me.

checkmate99

Thank you everyone, I'm not sure how Im going to handle it.i

kitsmum

Could you have a look and see if there are any local community places holding a Christmas day lunch for people who are on their own / vulnerable etc. We have one where I live. I am not sure of your situation ie whether you can get out and about but if you can that might be an option. Hope you are able to do something that works for you. Another option would be to facetime someone if that would help? Whatever happens look after you.

checkmate99

I did have a friend but they don't want me there .I went to the shops today and it was packed with people christmas shopping and had to go back to my car as it was hard to face .we take for granted what's easy for some people is a battle for the next person

Dendoo

can be lonely having someone live with you too. It’s one day spoil yourself ❤️ I like the idea of volunteering if able x

Razr

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/126300/alone

I dare say some people will be on here on Xmas, well i hope so, i am sure you are not the only one facing this, i 4 one will be on here for a check-in

checkmate99

Thank you

Littlefatfriend

Hiya Checkmate

Xmas may be a curious thing most because we can imagine/remember it to be such fun.

If we have the good fortune to learn them, those memories are generally produced in our childhoods when we are (hopefully) immune to the cost and stress involved in that process.

Xmas isn't designed for modern adults and society. In my opinion if we don't celebrate it for the majesty of the trinity it's just an excuse to waste money on each other and an assumed obligation for the multitude of family/friend relations available.

Friends of mine (who I won't see and I don't mind) have all manner of complicated parent/step parent/ex-partner visits to do which are compulsory, they're told. Everyone wants to see everyone else in just one day and inevitably that quickly becomes hard work.

Without religion (as I find myself) Xmas is just another day, but often with better TV.

If you have them available, I encourage you to enjoy your memories from childhood. I certainly will. That's when Xmas is most special by far.

I'm looking forward to a monster curry from the curry house in my village. Quite a few places will deliver them on Xmas day. Might you enjoy planning a similar treat for yourself?

I empathise with your wish for an ideal world at Xmas and I wish you all the best for it. If you'd like to chat on Xmas day I'll certainly be available.

There may be a few of us here, it's that kind of day.

Or it's just another wednesday with better TV.

Good luck

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WhatThe

Could you have a look and see if there are any local community places holding a Christmas day lunch for people who are on their own / vulnerable etc.

I did this once with a friend and another year on my own. It distracted me enough the first time I was feeling bereft. The food, service and entertainment were more than I expected with everyone else glad not to be alone on Christmas Day!

Bluebell21

Hi @checkmate99 There are church services with carols on Christmas day ? There are always different people who go at Christmas. The priest usually stands outside after the service and wishes everyone Happy Christmas. Would you consider going to a local community centre for Christmas dinner? I know it can be challenging going some where on your own for the first time.

Alternatively get some special food in and watch the tv. Christmas can be a lonely time for many people.

There will be members on the forum on Christmas Day so please join in.

Take care.

checkmate99

Thank you for understanding. I know there will be alot off people going to familys and some will do it out off obligation. Everyone deserves to have someone but it's not reality

Billiegoat

I read that psychologists say that the anticipation in the run up to going on holiday is more exciting than the actual holiday. Maybe it's the same with Christmas?

I didn't grow up with Christmas because my family don't celebrate so didn't experience a Christmas until my mid 20's, yet I remember it being lovely time growing up. Now, I usually get to lunchtime on Christmas day and think "well what was that fuss about". I have to remind myself that the same as I'm not bothered by Christmas, it is really important time for my husband and others.

I think if I found myself in this situation, I hope I would feel I could make connections. I don't know your situation but I hope you feel able to contact someone like the salvation army and see what you can get involved in, or they might know what's going on locally.

If nothing else, we can all say hi to each other on Christmas day and then you won't be alone because we'll know you're there x

checkmate99

Mentally I don't think I will be strong enough to go anywhere on christmas. Hence why I sign up on here to get advice from people on how to handle the emotions. I think it just highlights I don't have some one who loves me.dont we all come into this world wanting to be loved ?

Pickle72

I am dreading Christmas too checkmate. My mum has said I can visit but I will have to sit in a different room while she eats Christmas dinner in the kitchen with her nephew. We don’t get along. Thanks but no thanks. So another year feeling sad that what I see on tv isn’t as advertised. I have a husband but for the past 3 Christmas’s he’s needed to be with his mum who has severe anxiety and hates Christmas.
I’ve decided to opt out and go for walks, do things I enjoy and let the day come and go.

Christmas can heighten feelings of loneliness and rejection. I’m trying so hard to get through it in one piece.

Hang on in there for those who struggle. Sending comfort and peace x

Motzart

This may be a stupid comment but here goes. I would get up in the morning have a really nice breakfast and watch tv until about 1. Take a sleeping pill and hopefully get into my cosy bed and sleep until 10 pm. Wake up pour myself a few nice drinks and eat a few snacks and say "Hoorah another Christmas bites the dust".