Alone
Comments
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Hi @checkmate99 Could you perhaps have a pet a dog or a cat they can be great company and very loving. I know it is not the same as another person.
Christmas can be a challenging time even when we have families and friends and you realise why you do not usually see them all at the same time or more often when the falling outs start.
After Christmas day I prefer some time on my own and my husband respects this and tries to give me some space if only for a couple of hours.
Take care.
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It's something I will look into. At the moment I'm trying to survive the next 4 weeks.It sounds silly but it's rejection that I know people who are no longer in my life won't even think of me on that day.it hurts
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It does not sound silly at all @checkmate99 rejection is very hard to accept. We all like to think someone will think of us on a day that can be for families.
Perhaps try going shopping earlier in the day when not as many people will be around.
Have a look around and join in when you are ready. It might help to take your mind off things for a while.
You might like to look in the Coffee Lounge for chats or the Games Den both under Categories.
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If you go on reddit to r/anxiety, they have a huge discord server listed there with tons of channels, you actively get help and find friends there live chatting etc. I have found a few friends on there already and we chat regularly.
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Also check whether there is a local befriender service, I found a befriender who calls me every Wednesday for an hour, checks in and we chat about anything freely (they do receive training), and it's nothing like e.g. Samaritans or anything, it's proper befriending with the same person and they can talk a lot freer as well, and if you dont like your match you can get a different person. It's all through free charity.
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please don’t say nobody loves you. This is the second year I won’t see my grandchildren whom have been in my life from the day they was born. Two little girls. My sons partner has isolate him from all his family and after I lost my husband three yrs ago she decided to isolate me to. Sorry I can’t finish. Too upsetting
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I think very few of us experience the instagram perfect Christmas for one reason or another. I enjoy Christmastime eg decorating my tree etc but tbh I often find Christmas Day a bit of an anti climax. I have family members who have cut me off, but like to think they’re thinking of me, just as I’m thinking fondly of them. Find the things you enjoy. Although films, adverts, media etc seem to prescribe what Christmas Day should look like don’t believe the hype. Some have time pressures trying to please all the people (evermore complicated as families grow/blend), others it’s money, loneliness etc. Don’t trust the façade. Those who are able to truly enjoy it I pray they know how blessed they are and that those memories stay with them.
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My mother and her new family emigrated to Australia in the 70's. Since then I have kept some of my childhood traditions, as well as making plenty of my own for my own family.
Christmas before they left was not a happy time for me, even photos, were too posed, on top of which I was generally ill over Christmas.
I hope that I have made happy Christmas memories for those who are important to me. Be good to yourself you are the most important person in your life. Give yourself some love and smile more, say hello to strangers, it doesn't matter if they reply, you may just make their day. They may smile back or say hello back x
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If you live anywhere near South sea, St Swithins catholic church do a meal on Christmas day for anyone in that situation. It's very social and friendly. If you're interested then message me and I'll put you in touch with someone who knows more about it than me.
If you want to buy presents for people, plenty of charities require them, what about things for the soldiers fighting in the wars? who are so far from home and all alone. that'll warm your heart or to poorer people at you local Salvation army
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Bananarama, I'm so sorry to hear this. Your granddaughters must be missing you too, especially at Christmastime. I hope you can still ring them at least? They will be asking questions about you (and their grandad) and will want answers from their parents soon enough..
My daughter alternated between our respective families for Christmas. It was the best thing for her and us. The year I was divorced (my family's turn) my not-very-nice sister decided either one of us could go to our parents so she collected my daughter and the presents leaving me at home alone. It was very painful but letting her see her grandparents as planned was the right thing to do.
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Hi everyone, I know Christmas can be a really lonely and difficult time, especially when it feels like everyone else is celebrating. Please remember, this community is here for you throughout the festive period, and you’re always welcome to post and chat with others, even on Christmas Day. You’re not alone here!
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@checkmate99 I am going to be very straightforward. I too will be in my own. There are positives. Not dealing with giving pressies and only to myself etc.. that' would get me very anxious and distressed .at the end of the day is all a way to spend money I do not have. I will probably be skyping with a friend and little more than that. I thought about having animals but my place won't accept them. And anyway and probably I wouldn't as they die and it is traumatic when it happens. It is sad to be alone but then it is hard to have someone dealing with me and all that comes with being me.
I am not sure really. Try to treat yourself with something. Maybe skyping or WhatsApp.. I used to worry but now I accept and will take it as it is.
Try to get the most of it. And do not think in the bad. Being on your on you choose and do not need to ask unless you need advice.
Last year I spend loads in food and treats and this year I will not spend that much.. snd it was only me..
Take care.
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https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/christmas-and-mental-health/christmas-coping-tips/
Christmas has become a time of stress rather than happiness.
Do check out council/parish council led resources that might be of use in your area, or church/temple, even if your not religious
https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-cope-when-you-are-alone-at-christmas-3024301
https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-cope-with-loneliness-31449391 -
But yes I can not wait for this Xmas to go. I am a bit on the fence on this one. I enjoy the lights and the Xmas carols but little else. And benefit people seem to be sending letters on this season not leaving me alone until the next year. Dreading the change to universal credit that will for sure happen next year. Etc.. but yes at times it is good to have someone. At least I would have help in situations like this one. But I would be a burden to anyone. I am already a burden to society. And also moral support. I hope Xmas will pass. And also new years ... And hope next year I will have a big change.
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hi I am very sorry that you are going to be alone at Christmas this year I'm sure we will all keep each other entertained ha ha. Back to the serious point where about do you live and I can have a look at services that are local to you for you.
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It will be nice. I Will have the chat on. Technology is not so terrible even though I am a bit of a technophobe. Gets me very anxious. But this all seems quite straightforward.
Anyway goodnight. Tomorrow will be another day even though I am not very keen of that.
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Merry Christmas. ❤
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@checkmate99 I hope yesterday passed well for you and just think there's it all over now.
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@checkmate99
Hello I’m sorry I didn’t see your post till now like @Marydoll5 said I hope you got through yesterday ok and now it’s all over hopefully you could trying get a hobby or a new group to join or do some voluntary work if your able to do that and next year might not seem so overwhelming.❤️
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I spent this Christmas alone, and no doubt I’ll spend new year alone too, me and my adult son fell out, I said some things that hurt him and while I was out at an appointment on the 12th December my son took some cloathes and his work stuff and left
he didn’t tell e he was leavingI thought he’d gone to his mate too cool down and thought he’d be back
I asked my sister who also wasn’t talking to me at the time and still isn’t
But she said he told her he had left home permanently
He never told me he’d left home his self
I haven’t seen him since 11th December
He’s blocked my number
Blocked me on fb
I didn’t see him Christmas Day
I’m fact not fMilly member has contacted me all Xmas
Not one messenge
It’s so difficult
I feel so heart broken
A specially because I can see his new gf has uploaded a family pic of my son with her and her family he’d spent Xmas with and left me to sit on my own
It’s truly heartbreaking
Not to mention the financial predicament it’s left me with because bedroom tax ect
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