Caring for a son with paranoid schizophrenia while struggling with my own mental health

Scaramouche

Hi everyone,i felt i must join a forum like this as i found it was full of people experiencing the same struggles and problems as myself.I find it extremely difficult to know where to start but it all begins with my son who has paranoid schizophrenia but has tried to kill me a few times and has physically attacked me resulting in being hospitalised plus my partner stepped in to stop my son getting to me to kill me..he says im the devil incarnate so must be wiped out of existence for the sake of humanity and his own sanity...the assault on my partner resulted in a collapsed lung and 6 broken ribs and black eyes..Well i still love my son,hes now 45 and im 69,and i also still help him by doing his dwp forms for PIP,and my partner goes shopping for him and helps him at his flat but hes not allowed to be near my house or he could be arrested for harrassment and i only ever answer him by txt message,not even wattsap as he thinks its the government agents spying on him in between him talking to the birds every day and spotting alien people and sinister messages on adverts and road or street signs.He changes personality every other week and since 2015 ive totally struggled with my own mental health after having him sectioned 3 times and its resulted in me having a nervous breakdown severe anxiety and depression so bad plus ive now been agoraphobic for the last 8 yrs and never leave my home except to go to hospital or doctor appointments,but need support and all the help i can get...phew ive got that off my chest and i apologise for the very long intro to my life..um no,my existence is more appropriate.Anyway he txt us to say hes had a PIP form and i always fill it in for him,but this time round i just feel that i can't do it as its so damn stressful so ive not replied and hes not txt again..Hes all these weird terrifying people,yet he still says stuff like luv u mum..at the end of txts but can switch in an instant and it scares and petrifies me to the core.He only trusts my partner but sometimes tries to communicate by esp and then rages in weird talking that he cant mind read another human but my partner john..not real name...knows how to respond or just ignores him and leaves his flat saying that unless he shows him some respect he will not go round everyday to help him with shopping and cleaning and even cooking and this usually works..We are both in ill health but my son only has us two as all his brothers and sisters and other family will not go near him and have deleted him out of their lives forever..I think i just needed to tell someone about our struggle and would love a bit of moral support.We arent martys but i feel overwhelmed now and just don't know if i can cope with it anymore.Im off to make a cup of tea and have my insulin jab so thank you so kindly for reading this as i feel so alone and down and just cry every day.best wishes to you all and hope you have a lovely weekend.xx👋🫠🤞😔🌞

Bluebell21

Hi @Scaramouche Welcome to the Community. I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. Thank you for sharing your story.

We are here to help and support you where we can.

Have a look around and join in when you are ready.

Please take care of yourself.

Scaramouche

Thank you it means so much to get all this off my chest just to be able to breath in and tell myself its all ok and i will be fine..one day..x

noonebelieves

Hi @Scaramouche,
Welcome to this lovely and friendly Scope community.
I truly empathise with you, your son, and your husband. Thank you for sharing your experiences and the complex challenges your family has faced. I hope that expressing it here has given you even a little relief and headspace.
Wishing you and your family the very best!

Mary_Scope

Hi @Scaramouche and a warm welcome to the community

Thank you for sharing that with us. It is lovely to have you here on the community and I hope you find it to be a safe and supportive space.

We are a friendly bunch so if there is anything you need, please let us know and we will do our best to support you😄

Scaramouche

Hi to you lovely people who got in touch to welcome me to the community.It really does help my own mental health to know there really are people out there who care,and are willing to show me support and kind words.Unfortunately today im in such utter agonising pain from diabetic neuropathy,the burning in my feet and legs is unbearable to the point id rather be totally knocked out and asleep than sat here on the point of screaming and im tired out from all the crying to be honest.Im praying that tomorrow doesn't bring all this on again as im not sure i can cope for much longer..Thank you from my weary worn out heart though,as knowing i can reach out to people is stopping me from going completely under.I will be back on here soon.Go out and enjoy this beautiful sunny day whilst it lasts...and as my own mum used to say..make hay whilst the sun shines..i only wish i could…bye for now.Dotty Scaramouche.xx

noonebelieves

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1010665#Comment_1010665

@Scaramouche , @scaramouche, I’m truly sorry to hear that your day has been consumed by the agonising pain of diabetic neuropathy. While I don’t have diabetes, I do suffer from sensory motor polyradiculoneuropathy, and I completely understand the relentless, life-altering pain that comes with it. I have an entire thread venting about my own struggles, so I truly relate to how overwhelming it can be.

Like you, I push through each day, hoping for relief, only to face the same battle again. But despite it all, we rise. We are stronger than we know, more resilient than we feel, and we keep moving forward-even when it feels impossible.

I just want to send you a heartfelt wish and a little prayer that tomorrow brings you comfort, strength, and moments of peace. May it be a new day filled with hope, blessings, and the possibility of brighter moments ahead. You are not alone!

Wishing you the very best.