Hi everyone,i felt i must join a forum like this as i found it was full of people experiencing the same struggles and problems as myself.I find it extremely difficult to know where to start but it all begins with my son who has paranoid schizophrenia but has tried to kill me a few times and has physically attacked me resulting in being hospitalised plus my partner stepped in to stop my son getting to me to kill me..he says im the devil incarnate so must be wiped out of existence for the sake of humanity and his own sanity...the assault on my partner resulted in a collapsed lung and 6 broken ribs and black eyes..Well i still love my son,hes now 45 and im ****,and i also still help him by doing his dwp forms for PIP,and my partner goes shopping for him and helps him at his flat but hes not allowed to be near my house or he could be arrested for harrassment and i only ever answer him by txt message,not even wattsap as he thinks its the government agents spying on him in between him talking to the birds every day and spotting alien people and sinister messages on adverts and road or street signs.He changes personality every other week and since 2015 ive totally struggled with my own mental health after having him sectioned 3 times and its resulted in me having a nervous breakdown severe anxiety and depression so bad plus ive now been agoraphobic for the last 8 yrs and never leave my home except to go to hospital or doctor appointments,but need support and all the help i can get...phew ive got that off my chest and i apologise for the very long intro to my life..um no,my existence is more appropriate.Anyway he txt us to say hes had a PIP form and i always fill it in for him,but this time round i just feel that i can't do it as its so damn stressful so ive not replied and hes not txt again..Hes all these weird terrifying people,yet he still says stuff like luv u mum..at the end of txts but can switch in an instant and it scares and petrifies me to the core.He only trusts my partner but sometimes tries to communicate by esp and then rages in weird talking that he cant mind read another human but my partner john..not real name...knows how to respond or just ignores him and leaves his flat saying that unless he shows him some respect he will not go round everyday to help him with shopping and cleaning and even cooking and this usually works..We are both in ill health but my son only has us two as all his brothers and sisters and other family will not go near him and have deleted him out of their lives forever..I think i just needed to tell someone about our struggle and would love a bit of moral support.We arent martys but i feel overwhelmed now and just don't know if i can cope with it anymore.Im off to make a cup of tea and have my insulin jab so thank you so kindly for reading this as i feel so alone and down and just cry every day.best wishes to you all and hope you have a lovely weekend.xx👋🫠🤞😔🌞
