How our past affects our future?

Grumpy1314

I’ll be open and honest, it’s been a rough 41 years to say the least. I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve lost and I’ve divorced to say the least. But every time someone says move on, or stop living in the past, or just let things as they go…. You just want to scream at them, It’s Harder Than You Think!!!!! My go to strategy seems to be, just bury your head in the sand, file it in a box at the back of your mind and shut down!

This has negatively impacted my life throughout my years on this spinning marble we live on. I no longer have contact with my family, I’ve severed ties with my friends and have to failed marriages behind me.

The last week I’ve formally decided to go back on what I’ve been saying to myself or anyone that asks, “I’m not signing divorce papers if there sent or paying for them” yet last week I ordered a copy of my marriage certificate, I’ve contacted my ex for her address but to no avail and today I have formally filed for divorce and applied for legal aid to cover the costs. Doing this has sent my mental health crashing the past week, my mind today has gone numb and It has been like undoing a deep wound that has not been treated. I’m just going to sit back, watch tv and take my time processing things. I just hope my ex signs the papers and that the final bolt can be done up to seal the door to my past.