Lasting Power of Attorney - Finances & Property - Advocacy

Roughyed1485

This is a really hard for me to write 😔 I am at rock bottom and I’m scraping the sides of the barrel. I have struggled with both Mental and Physical Disabilities ever since my first breath. It’s fair to say that my life has been like the Himalayan Mountain Range and for the last five years I’ve been stuck on the Hilary Step on Mount Everest.

The last ten years has seen me having to sever all ties and communication with my family, I’ve lost the best thing to have ever happened to me, my 2nd wife and I’ve lost friends through either them being judgemental or opinionated, or as I have done over three months ago, I formally severed all ties to my friends for good.

I am battling to keep my head above water both mentally and physically to say the least. My ill judged and out of control spending on both take aways alongside easy to purchase items off Amazon mean I’m now putting bills off to the next month. I’ve set a strict budget out, but just can’t keep to it which I’m ashamed of to say the least.

I don’t leave my flat, unless it’s to put rubbish out or for the rare GP Visit or Hospital Visit, as it stands I’ve only travelled as far as my GP Surgery once in the last 3 months.

I am wanting to put in place a Lasting Power of Attorney for both my health and also my finances and property (bar the flat I rent) I’m scared stiff at the moment of how out of control I am with my finances, especially ordering take aways that I know will negatively impact my health. I am going out on a limb and saying that I lack the mental capacity to make sound decisions in regards to my finances.

I need someone such as an advocate or an independent body to act on my behalf as if anything happens to me where I lose mental capacity full stop with everything, then I have nobody to act on my best wishes.

I know a solicitor is out of the question as I am on state benefit of which I can’t afford to keep a Solicitor or Attorney on a long term retainer. I honestly do not know which way to turn at the moment, as I don’t know what’s up, what’s down, or what’s left and right. I feel like a ship in a force ten hurricane that’s lost all power and there is no light to guide me from the edge.

I rarely shower due to the fear of falling, I have just let myself become to comfortable in my surroundings, I struggle to leave my bed at times (which is not good for my health & wellbeing), I get angry and frustrated with myself all the time, I question every single decision that I make every minute of the day, I honestly hand on heart have lived with Death’s hand on my left shoulder since 1983, with him often saying you escaped in 1983 & 2020, but next time you won’t! I have already got a pay monthly non attendance cremation service set up and ready to pay for, when the time comes I’m not sure who would be able to act on my behalf.

I don’t want to take myself to hospital and be admitted into a mental health unit as it would jeopardise my independence and also the tenancy on my flat.
I am in communication with my mental health team, I’ve been waiting 7 months for a social prescriber alongside private counselling, then add on a referral to Psychology by the mental health team (Derby Wellbeing Team)

Since I left a multi occupancy house where I had 4 hours a week with a support worker, I’ve just gone backwards, rather than going forward. I’ve reverted back to the scared child I was in the 1990’s, I honestly hate admitting I need help, I have stubbornly as usual just gone with “I can do this myself, I don’t need anyone’s help” But in all honesty that’s exactly what I do need as living alone truly sucks! I’ve only ever lived with my parents and two ex wives in the last 41+ years, I’ve always been fiercely independent and always rushed into things like a Bull in a China Shop! But now I’ve regressed back into the child & adult that isolated himself behind closed doors away from the world.

I just don’t know how I would set up a lasting power of attorney or a living will, or have a suitable person to act on my best wishes. If something bad happened to me, I wouldn’t want any life saving measures carried out, I would want my organs donated, as for my finances I honestly feel that I’m lacking mental capacity now due to my mental health conditions due to my erratic behaviour when it comes to money. I am just asking for Help and Advice, even a small crumb of advice would be welcomed. I think next week I am going to make an appointment with my GP to have a formal DNR placed into my medical records as quite frankly, every minute of the day I don’t want to be alive, let alone waking up the next day. I’m sorry if this essay makes for very hard and brutal reading, I’m just a shadow of who I once was.

That’s who I used to be 😔

this is the person that I don’t recognise and know at all 😭