When we listen, people may remember their worth

StarryEyed · November 25

@Nightcity Yes, I think there are many ways to express the same idea

Zippy1983 · November 25

If I’m honest and being transparent -

I am still finding it hard to live alone just over two years after my ex wife left me. I miss the contact, someone just saying everything is ok, helping to be a sounding board or just helping me get my voice heard on phone calls.
It’s not just my ex I’m missing, I’m missing my dog, missing having him just there checking in on me or having cuddles.

What I find debilitating living alone since last year is simply the vast silence, if it wasn’t for the tv I would feel like I had gone deaf.

I am a Cancer ♋️ by star sign, I’m very sensitive, nurturing, emotional and protective. But it’s not just my star sign that makes me partly like that, it’s also a lifetime of battling against all odds, facing down constant criticism, having obstacles put in my way and just having to constantly fight.

I can be reactive, fly off the handle, defensive, silent and just really a mental mess at times. My inability to control or regulate my emotions was 50% responsible for my ex wife leaving me.

Even sitting here, I have a heavy heart, a sad expression a distant look in my eyes. I was always asked by crisis lines or mental health workers where I used to live, what keeps you going, simple answer was always my wife and dog.

When that is taken away from you, what does it leave you with?

StarryEyed · November 25

@Zippy1983 That's a lot of hurt rolled up into one person. I'm sorry you're struggling so much. I too live alone. Yes, the silence can be deafening at times. But I've come to like it. The answers come to me now in the silence. I have more peace now than I ever had. It's been hell getting to this point because in the silence our monsters can become very loud and scary. But once we - again - start listening to our monsters, they can lose their monster qualities. I think it's by not listening to parts of ourselves that the worst monsters can be born. In the silence, it is easier to shine light. For me it is. Maybe you too can tame the silence? ....Or tame your silence?

StarryEyed · November 25

This is for you @Zippy1983

Good night ❤️

https://youtu.be/NAEppFUWLfc?si=Sra2WcuR_hgoE_hu

rubin16 · November 25

I always find relationships facinating, i've never understood the need to have someone nor understood the wanting of a person with you all the time. It would drive me insane.

Zippy1983 · November 25

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1085895#Comment_1085895

to be honest Ruben, I’ve had two proper relationship, partners and marriages in the space of 40 years, I can safely say never again!

Gonna stay single until I’m a cranky old man 👴 I always struggled to make friends and it was hard navigating life with my father’s side of the family. My Mums side was the one I mainly got on with and really gelled with.

Through childhood and adulthood I always isolated myself away from the world apart from going hiking, camping or other stuff with a couple of close mates.

Since my ex dumped me and I’ve been through the biggest challenge, multiple obstacles and major life changes I’m still here and surviving on my own. Learning to just take my time with every thing I do, listening to my body, my mind and just trying to find the right path.

Zippy1983 · November 25

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1085894#Comment_1085894

Thank You 😊

rubin16 · November 25

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1085896#Comment_1085896

I've never wanted a relationship, nor do I ever feel the sense of lonliness. I'm only ever happy if im on my own. The only people I speak too are online other than that I don't speak to anyone. I'm also asexual and hate being touched by anyone.

Chris75_ · November 25

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1085884#Comment_1085884

Glad to see you stuck around, Zippy!

StarryEyed · November 26

@rubin16 As funny as it is when you say this, I totally get this in my life now:

i've never understood the need to have someone nor understood the wanting of a person with you all the time. It would drive me insane.

So get that! It would have to be someone I've never even close to imagined, meaning some kind of miracle! 😁

@Zippy1983 You're welcome. 💝

Thanks all for listening. I feel just a little more real today. 🙏😊

This thread brings to mind one of my favourite songs from one of my favourite movies. It's about a guy with Down syndrome. So beautiful.

https://youtu.be/zIeOP-vmBEM?si=_QvB_2H4VCcWX37B

rubin16 · November 26

Sorry i'm very weird, I always think outside the box, never understand social norms, question everything and have the mental age of a teenager. But with that everyone gets a unique experience and prob some answers other people never even thought of.

StarryEyed · November 27

Well if you ask me @rubin16 I think your description of yourself sounds intriguing and quite likeable. But then I'm an unconventional thinker too, so perhaps I'm biased? 😊Seriously though, the international trend is more and more people are choosing to be childless, to be single, and to live alone. I can't speak for other people's reasoning behind their choices, but for me in this increasingly noisy and fast-paced world, I need more and more alone time and alone space in order to be able to hear myself think and feel and move and be.