Wife/Carer going into hospital - what to do ?

Wibbles

My wife/carer may have to go to hospital (her shoulders and hips are bad) - what would I do ?

She is currently at her GP.

Bearing in mind that I am virtually immobile and can't speak on the phone either - I am useless at virtually everything else that I try….

I also would be unable to visit her in hospital - because of my poor mobility (I could neither get TO hospital or get AROUND the hospital (wheelchair).

OverlyAnxious

I don't really have any answers but this is something that concerns me a lot now. I live alone and just about manage very basic tasks day to day. But am now completely reliant on one other person for all food and even clean underwear. They also manage any other tasks that require driving or speaking to anyone. If (or rather when!) anything happens to them, I honestly don't know how I would manage for more than a few days. I just have to keep hoping I 'go' before they do!

On the point about the hospital though, if you could get yourself there via car or taxi, I'm sure they have porters that would help push your wheelchair to the ward where your wife is. I collected my Grandad from hospital a few years ago and hadn't spent any time in a hospital for years as they are pretty much my worst nightmare! He told us he could walk but it quickly became apparent he couldn't walk the whole way and had to keep stopping. I didn't know what to do and we just kept stopping and starting. Then when we got near the door I realised there were loads of empty wheelchairs and a sign offering a porter service! Too late for us by that point but good to know for future reference.

PhilG111

If you Wife is registered as your primary carer, then the GP/Hospital can arrange for a Carer/PA to come and assist you a couple times a day for the time your wife is in hospital.

Else your Local Hospital may have a commissioned service such as the Red Cross that do a Check in service and can arrange to visit and help coordinate things like getting help etc… assuming of course that is what you would like.

Should your mobility be an issue to and from the hospital. Assuming you can transfer to a wheelchair, a number of Councils have contacts with regards to Charity based community transport schemes or a Wheelchair Taxi's could be arranged. Once there a Porter or even a volunteer will likely be around to assist getting you to her bedside.

Unfortunately speaking on the Phone, is somewhat of a necessity, perhaps you have friends or family that could assist at least with booking transport? or speaking to whomever?

This of course all assumes that you have some mobility. If not and your bedbound, there are alternatives, such as a Respite facility or Nursing Home as temporary measure whilst your Wife recovers and a Package of care can be arranged for when you and your wife is at home, so some of the pressure has been taken off her.

Rachel_Scope

Just to add to what Phil has said, here is some more information on your options https://carers.org/taking-care-of-yourself/help-when-a-carer-has-to-go-into-hospital It recommends that you get in touch with your local adult social services department to discuss options. It also has advice for your wife on what to do when she returns home to recover.

When will you find out if she needs to go into hospital? I hope it's not necessary.

Wibbles

OK she's back - she hasn't been to her GP for almost 15 years because last time they virtually told her to lose weight.

This time it was EXERCISE - TAKE PARACETAMOLS AND STOP DOING THINGS THAT HURT.

How can she stop doing everything that hurts ?

That means - sitting stationary in a seat and not going shopping or cleaning or cooking etc

Her GP is a joke - my wife has arthritis and has had it since the age of 20 !

PhilG111

That sadly pretty much sums up almost any visit you have to the GP with back ache..

Back aches take an inordinate amount of GP's time and its virtually impossible to prove compared to say a open wound or a broken limb (Though I have seen some crazy things)..

There is various exercise programmes available via the Nhs site, and you can even refer yourself to a physio without going through the GP, though there is a bit of a wait unfortunately. But in the mean time there are the Exercises, I dont have them to hand, but they are low impact exercises that have helped me in the past and are readily accessible and dont require much beyond 15 spare minutes.

Cant speak to the Arthritis part I'm afraid. I'm sure others will be able suggest something?

StarryEyed

@Wibbles have you considered now might be a good time to set up a plan for a future situation where your wife can't take care of you? It sounds like it would be easier for her to set it up now, rather than when she's incapacitated and you're alone.

Wibbles

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1091641#Comment_1091641

This has concerned me for some time - where do I start ?

We have "savings" so the Local Authority are not remotely interested in helping…………

Kimi87

You have received extensive advice on the subject in the past from quite a few people here & elsewhere.