Help

joanne2606

so long story short, my daughter is awaiting diagnosis, showing pda traits. Now a teenager and has started vaping to fit in at school. Masks all day at school and at home has meltdowns, burn outs, is forever trying to control every situation. I don’t know how to deal with the vape situation and feel the more I’m going on about it the more I’m pushing her into it and then lying. I’m at a loss waiting for camhs to get back to me, have a meeting at school this week as her burn outs are getting more her behaviour is getting out of hand. Any advice would be fabulous. I have signed up for classes upon classes but most are aimed at younger kids and I’m needing help more with how to handle this situation. Thanks

Bluebell21

Hi @joanne2606 welcome to the Community.

The following IPSEA link might be of interest to you.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk

Take care.

Mary_Scope

Hi @joanne2606 and a warm welcome to the community from me!

Thank you for telling us a little bit about your situation. It sounds like you're both going through a very difficult time at the moment.

As direct demands are perceived by her brain as threats to her safety, it sounds like you "going on" about the vaping is inadvertently triggering her "fight or flight" response which is what is leading to the lying and defiance and challenges you described.

To break this cycle, it can be really helpful to use low demand strategies such as declarative language, this is saying things out loud like they are facts, information or just sharing observations with no pressure on your daughter to reply. For example, maybe something like "I notice vaping is a huge trend at school right now. That's a shame because there is still health issues associated with it" rather than "You need to stop". Here is some more information on parenting on child with PDA and parenting a teenager with PDA that I hope will be helpfu!

Do you know when you can expect CAMHS to get back in touch with you? Hopefully it's not too long. It's good that you have a school meeting booked though, how are you feeling about that?

joanne2606

my appointment was two weeks ago and I was told it can be up to three months to get her in and do the assessment. I called them today again regarding all we’re going through and someone is supposed to call me back but haven’t yet. But hopefully in the next three months she will have a diagnosis and maybe we can get some kind of plans in place to help. Thank you I’m away to have a look at that all now see if I can get any tips

SheffieldMan1976

I was 23 when I was diagnosed (which will be 27 years in October), I had an MRI (brain scan), and then our oh so wonderful NHS "Lost" the results so I had to have another one, which confirmed that I have what was then known as Asperger Syndrome.

SoapySoutar

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1113616#Comment_1113616

Is Asperger different to autism?