Grief and strength

Biblioklept

Hellooooo ❤️

Sorry it's been forever since I've been about. I don't see many posters I recognise anymore so most of you probably won't know or recognise my name but I used to be very active on here (previous account with same name).

I've had a pretty rubbish year with broken bones and accidents as well as a few health issues, then more recently my father passed away suddenly. It hit me, hard.

It's one of those weird things where I realised despite being almost 40 I'm still a kid who just wants their parents and their approval and it's been a weird time for me.

One small, sort of positive, is that I've found a quiet strength in it all. It's made me more determined to start living and experiencing life. I don't know what will come of that or how exactly it will look, but it's strange what grief does and that things we learn about ourselves in it!

Anyway, sorry for the ramble and much love to everyone ❤️

Bluebell21

Hi @Biblioklept lovely to see you posting.

I am so sorry for your loss, it can be devasting dealing with a sudden death. The following link might be of interest to you.

http://www.cruse.org.uk

I look forward to seeing you around more.

Take care.

Biblioklept

Thank you @Bluebell21!! I'm happy to see you're still here ❤️

Kimi87

It's lovely to see you posting again.

I lost my Mum in February so I understand how you are feeling. With my Dad living abroad and being useless, it's a been big adjustment to my life effectively without parents and going from seeing family regularly to rarely - I'm also roughly your age 😊

WhatThe

Welcome back @Biblioklept 🤗 I'm here!

At any age, losing a parent can be devastating. I had to face my 50th birthday as an adult orphan and it hurt. My main comfort was that I'd known them both and wasn't adopted - I imagine it must be even harder not knowing where you came from and how you got to be you.

Holly left Scope quite recently.

Rachel_Scope

Hi @Biblioklept, it's so lovely to have you back. I'm sorry to hear that you've had such a difficult time but it's wonderful that something positive has come from it. I look forward to seeing you around the community 😊

StarryEyed

Good morning, @Biblioklept, and welcome back. I'm sorry for your health struggles and for the terrible loss of your father. Here is some softness headed your way.... ❤️

louisowen01

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/148642/grief-and-strength

So sorry to hear about your dad and the absolute nightmare of a year you've had. That feeling of just wanting your parents never really goes away, no matter how old we get, so don't be hard on yourself for feeling like a kid again.

It’s really amazing that you're finding that quiet strength through all the grief, though. Taking that drive to actually start living and taking it one day at a time is huge. Welcome back to the forum, and sending lots of love your way

Rosie_Scope

Welcome back @Biblioklept, always nice to see your name pop up! Sorry to hear you've had such a rough year, that all sounds like a lot to cope with. And grief is such a weird thing to navigate, but I'm glad you're finding some positives in it somewhere. Hope you're managing okay at the moment ☺️

luvpink

@Biblioklept

Good morning.

Welcome back.

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss and your health struggles.

Take care.

💕

Biblioklept

Aww thank you @Kimi87, I'm sorry you're going through this and for the loss of your mum! It's a weird feeling isn't it? I feel too old to need a parent but also like I need one more than ever.

I think we're at an odd age too.

People I knew from school are at all different stages of life, some are parents to newborns, some are grandparents, some are single, some married, some at the peak of their careers and some starting a new one. Then some of us orphaned and others still with grand and even great grandparents!!

Biblioklept

Hey @WhatThe, awesome to see you're still about too! You're so right and one of the things I keep thinking is how lucky I was to have lost him at this age rather than as a young child or never to have known him at all.

I hadn't seen that Holly had left! 😔

Biblioklept

I'm honestly overwhelmed by all the lovely messages, thank you all so much!

I'm glad you're still here @Rachel_Scope! How is your little one? She must be approaching nearly 2 now right??

@StarryEyed, thank you ❤️ that picture is beautiful and there's something so precious about bubbles and that kind of lighting!!

Aw @louisowen01 that's so kind of you! I always thought of myself as so independent, I left home very young but now I want them more than ever 😔 Thank you for your understanding and kind words!

Thank you @Rosie_Scope! Is anything new with you??

That's so kind of you @luvpink!! How have you been? 💕

Rosie_Scope

Nothing exciting to report at all @Biblioklept, same as always! But thanks for asking ☺️

Emilee

It's been nearly 20 years since my mum passed and I still find myself wishing I could pick up the phone and talk to her.

Sending you love and strength @Biblioklept.

WhatThe

I was weepy by the time I'd read down to Emilee's post last night..

Grief and loss are so difficult to face alone and I wonder if you have any family support at all @Biblioklept ? I remember you also had a dysfunctional childhood and strained relations! Did you manage to see your father while he was in hospital and did you attend the funeral?

I feel bad for not acknowledging your loss @Kimi87 in February and I'm sorry.

Bereavement counselling gave me some release from, and structure to, my new reality and I'd recommend it to anyone.