How can I get my child with eczema to wash?

JoanneE

This discussion was created from comments split from: Hi, I'm Noel, founder of Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting, a not-for-profit consultancy.

JoanneE

Dear Noel, I came across your site through searching with the words "child won't wash eczema occupational therapist." I am feeling quite overwhelmed at the moment and need to find the right place to go for advice and help and it may be that you could point me in the right direction. I am mum to Andreas 7 in a couple of weeks who doesn't have a learning disability but has eczema which affects his arms legs, back, neck and face. After washing once a few months ago he said the water stung him and he was upset then he didn't want water near him. In our (his dad and I) ignorance we initially got annoyed at him and tried to wash his bottom and he screamed and fought us off as if we were attacking him so obviously very upset. His dad has also surprised him by spraying him with something. We have since not shouted and been calm and laid back and pretended we're not bothered and it's fine, and tried bribing him and got as far as him sitting on the bath while I was in it and putting his feet in up to the knees and playing with foam. Without a bribe he refuses to wash any part of him (we've managed to get him to wash his bottom twice), except the underside of his feet and his toes because he can smell them and he has verrucas which we are treating. He says the water doesn't hurt when it touches him but that doesn't help. I spoke to one of my GPs at the practice while I was at an appointment for myself and he said that the procedure was to get a report from him school first through the school nurse and then maybe refer us to family counselling. He is happy (seems to be!) in all other aspects so I didn't want to go through that lengthy invasive process and have it on his records so I said I wanted that advice not recorded. I understand that as parents we need to learn how to deal with this - as I see it he associates water touching him with pain and shouting. I've tried a chart but I don't want to be giving him chocolate or a toy everytime he washes a tiny bit of himself. It is so draining. Could you advise who could help? Thank you...

ParentingAdvisor

Dear Joanne,
My apologies for not replying sooner. You are dealing with a very challenging situation. I do have some advice for you. I would prefer to talk with you and your husband by telephone so that you can ask me questions if you're not clear about what I'm suggesting.
Can you please email me on admin@calmerparenting.co.uk to set up a time to talk.
Best wishes - Noel