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Depression and Disability
Depression with disabilities is, in my experience almost inevitable. It is rarely considered by our GP's or NHS professionals in general. l spent about 15 months in a rehabilitation hospital where my mental health was given the same importance as my physical health.
To this end l give an a brief iatrogenic of my own journey over the last 16 years.
l am a disabled person, having had an 18.5 hour surgery for Scheuermanns Decease. My twisted spine has been re built with titanium rods, my left ribs replaced with titanium mesh as has part of my pelivis. l have no articulation of the spine and am 60% weak down my left side.
l get depressed (l am sure most disabled people do), but l am not continously depressed far from it. l have good weeks, bad weeks and very bad episodes of depression.
Petty Illnesses acompany my depressive bouts. My body becomes a burden, my Immune system fails me. My bowls go haywire, my teeth ache, my skin irupts, cracks and bleeds. l turn a greyish colour when l am very down. lt's all physical, all extra pain. There are no merits in all of this, no good comes of it. Happy days.
My senses become overloaded l feel uncomfortable and often disgusting. My body is telling me l am ill. My senses become overloaded and my mind is full of unwanted sounds, images and memories. I take oramorph and gradually sleep follows. l wish there were a pill that would make me sleep (without dreams) for a week.
After a week or so, l know l have to fight it, it's not a simple case of pulling my socks up, or getting a grip, or any of the other stupid and pointless platitudes. lt's a much quieter, grimmer struggle than that.
l have to fight this awful condition, my children and grandchildren help enormously. And gradually l crawl back towards the light.
Take care Rob.
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