Sex toys and disability

Student

Hi,

I'm a product design student and I am thinking of doing a project on improving sex lives for people with physical disabilities. From the research I have done, there does not seem to be many good products out there. I am interested to know what do you think? Do you think there is a real need for this? Is there a type of disability in particular that you think could benefit from such a project? Do you have any suggestions as to how to find people willing to talk about the difficulties they face. 

mossycow

Something that holds your weight while you.....well get on with other stuff.

Personally I have chronic pain and weakness - toys with good handles...

VioletFenn

Hi, what an interesting (and useful!) project idea - there really is a market out there, I think. I'm a journalist and one of my specialist subjects is sex and sexuality - I often talk to people whose sex lives are impacted at various levels by their disabilities. There are a few products out there (the main one that springs to mind is the Pulse (contents might obviously be NSFW, depending where you work!).

I'm more than happy to chat via email if I can help in any way.

bam

Hello @VioletFenn, how are you? What about sex toys for men who have disabilities.

PSHEexpert

Hello folks

This sounds like a really interesting idea and one which has endless possibilities. From my work with people with various physical disabilities, I would say that (as mossycow notes), something that can be put into position and stays there while other activities are going on is a good starting place - items which can be placed and are sturdy are pretty crucial, whether that's placed on a surface (as it were) or against the body, with an adaptation to support that.

Something which struck me as an interesting issue was that of sensory sensitivity.  I think it would be a fascinating design spec.  I'd be more than happy, also, to offer input where/if I can.

Gill

sabini13

My partner is a (fairly) high functioning c5 disabled man -I  am mildly hypermobile so "hip-lock" has always been an issue,but I am classed able bodied /but have learning Spld's. He is a science Phd and has worked in the field of eyegaze technology, so  assistive sex technology has been a subject as AHEM  healthy adults in our 50's - been discussed - we even thought about designing sex toys ourselves for disability- but we have  a lot of interests and shelved the idea fairly quickly. There are indeed many many issues some to do with nerve damage - too much vibration could increase de sensitisation not decrease it, or horror of horrors - cause pain unless that's your "thing" not fun at all ! Other considerations are myriad.. including the possibilities of haptics and Second Life which may be a way to have interactive sexual experiences - if desired,within a virtual environment where individuals can choose to be portrayed however they like, and take relationships to whatever level they feel able to enjoy safely. There are obviously pro's and con's involved as in this day and age we are able to forge strong ties even over the internet without meeting, so issues of exploitation/con artists etc are to be considered carefully - that is common to all relationships but add in sexual pleasure and a powerful visual element and this can be a dangerous cocktail - no pun intended. Scuse the rambling lol - Very interesting idea with masses of wonderful and happy potential - I am also an artist/musician and will no doubt be exploring disability and sexiness at some point in my degree - just started .
There is so much to consider- people with no limbs,limited grip,sensory issues,-hygiene,hypo- allergenic, making the toys visually pleasing (please NO beige medical looking accessories!!) simple controls,safety,non genital stimulation (body remap following injury ?? not sure about this...) Anyway all the best  

mossycow

Degree sounds interesting, whats it in?

Agree with the role of fantasy, second life is interesting....though I find getting comfy, and just talking can be very fun....  

Something to help hygiene in bed would be good as getting bathroom to wash toys is hard (god i hope my mum  never finds these threads....).... 

A ramp at our local Ann Summers would be a start hahaha!

simonsable

I would love to explore the possibility. Talking from a guy with severe Athetoid Cerebral Palsy, such products need some body control. I think this issue needs looking into and I would be delighted to help out, if I can

Sam_Alumni

If you google sex toys for disabled people, there are some great websites with different products such as chairs and swings/hoists and masturbation aids for men and women.  

It is a really interesting subject that I am glad we are talking about!

stonetemple

I was in an accident when i was 16.  Im now 34. I never had a problem getting into a relationship, but early on i was clueless when it came to sex, so i quickly became a master at giving a woman an orgasm via oral. Ive had some great women in my life who were willing to experiment with different positions and toys. But after 18yrs my sex life is pretty good, but now ive began looking into swings. Viagra works amazing for me, even after ejaculation im able to maintain an erection for near 3hrs. The problem with the swings is they aren't very comfortable( no im not  it for 3hrs). Id love to hear amy suggestions. And with 18 years of trial and error im willing to help in anyway possible. 

PSHEexpert

I was at the SHADA (sexual health and disability) meeting a couple of weeks ago and got talking there to a woman who is in the process of setting up an inclusive sex shop online, which I think is a brilliant idea.  She is really open to contributions, suggestions, questions, help...can I point people at her?@Sam_Scope is that alright?

stonetemple

Maybe make specialty items available. Such as differant styles of swings or hoists. Seems alot of swings are pretty similar 

VioletFenn

Ooh @PSHEexpert - could you let me know who that is? I'd be really interested in finding out about her for my day job, apart from anything else (I write a lot about sexual inclusivity). Thank you!

PSHEexpert

Yes yes @VioletFenn !  It's The Pleasure Garden Shop.  I will find you her website...

PSHEexpert

Oh except I can't because I'm at work at college!  I can give you her Twitter, I am sure it has a link - it's thepgshop   

VioletFenn

PSHEexpert said:

Oh except I can't because I'm at work at college!  I can give you her Twitter, I am sure it has a link - it's thepgshop   

Found her! Thank yooooou  

mossycow

3 hours sounds exhausting...... Heeheee nice one


Gasp rat to see folks chatting about this. 

VioletFenn

Further to previous comments on this thread, I'm hoping you lot might be able to help me!

My day job is as a freelance writer specialising in sex and relationships - I've been commissioned by a national website to write a short series about sex and disability and would really appreciate your input. I only ever write this stuff from a positive and informative viewpoint, so it's important to me that I get it right. 

I would love to hear from you if you have suggestions re working around disabilities in the bedroom; if there are favourite sex toys that particularly suit some people; if there are some things you'd like to do but simply can't, so you've figured out an alternative. Anything you'd like to get out there for public understanding, really!

I'm always happy to use pseudonyms for those who wish to stay anon. And if you don't want to reply on this thread I can be emailed at hellovioletfenn@gmail.com

Thanks so much  

Violet
ASD advisor, Scope

Hamsterchic

My fiancée was never really into sex like I was . I'd had much more experience. He sadly doesn't like the idea of me using sex toys which I find sad. I think he finds it impossible to understand that he isn't enough, I get frustrated at his attempts and my body doesn't seem to respond to him . He's younger than me (only four years) but his attitude is stuck.I know he's frustrated but I can't seem to make myself want him.

resoos45

If you really prefer Tengu or any other toy http://convoswithcosmo.com/best-fleshlight-sleeve-review/ to choose from. Then this is what you need. I myself chose what I wanted. Very good stimulating toy for sex!

paulinuk

Student said:

Hi,

I'm a product design student and I am thinking of doing a project on improving sex lives for people with physical disabilities. From the research I have done, there does not seem to be many good products out there. I am interested to know what do you think? Do you think there is a real need for this? Is there a type of disability in particular that you think could benefit from such a project? Do you have any suggestions as to how to find people willing to talk about the difficulties they face.