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Hi I'm Rebecca ask me questions about Mental Health
RebeccaMHadvisor
Member Posts: 99 Courageous
Hi, I'm Rebecca.
I am a qualified hypnotherapist and a counselor volunteering for ChildLine and the NSPCC. I work to support children and young people with a variety of mental health needs. I have spent 20 years working within local government in both social housing and social services supporting people who are vulnerable and with complex needs. I am a keen advocate of supporting survivors of domestic abuse.
Ask me questions about Mental Health now.
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I have been caring for my son who is now 16yrs old with ADHD, he was only diagnosed at aged 10yrs. I have been on antidepressants for over 14yrs, I have since found out that I have a blood disorder and a blood clot on my brain and so my health is not at my best right now and I am really worried about mine and my children's future.
I have a supportive partner but he has little patience these days so conflict between him and my son is high. My doctor is fantastic but as ADHD is not classed as a severe disability I have never had any restbite care for my son. My sons absent father rarely has him and has never been on the same page as me so I've not had his support either.
I need some kind of therapy because I feel constantly angry and I want to have a loving relationship with my son in the future. I have X3 other children that live with me, ages from 19yrs-4yrs.
Unfortunately many patients with mental health conditions refuse to take their medication at some point and watching on can be heart breaking. I am sure that you are able to see side affects of him not taking the medication and it can be frustrating and tiring.
First things first - have you had a conversation about his reasoning?
If he is refusing because he is having side affects or because he doesn't think it is working. Both of those reasons it would be worth having a conversation with him and his doctors as to what is happening and the impacts on him. He might think he has already had this conversation but that he isn't being listened to in which case it is important to put yourself in his shoes and understand what he needs.
Not taking the medication because he doesn't think he needs to is very different and is a lot harder to address. He might seen the medication as getting in his way and forget that it has made him well. Reasoning can sometimes help, reminding him of how things were before he started to take the medication.
The best advice I can give you though is talk to him.
Hope this helps
Rebecca
i want to provide you with some backgruond information about my situation, but its a few pages and i dont want it read on the furum. would yu be able to read some background info about situation? and is there a way i can send you it that would be confidential?
many thnks
treeman
Sorry for the delay in my response
Rebecca
I'm not too sure - @Sam_Scope - is there a facility for this?
Rebecca
If you would like to speak to someone @treemanhart you can call the Scope Helpline on 08088003333
Senior online community officer
i can ring number you suggested but i need somone to read my situation rather than me trying to explin it over phone.
many thnks
hi Sam/Rebecca am still waiting to see if yu can reposnd to my last post yesterday, and also I need Rebbecas advice regarding the other post I have called PIP Predicament.
and for Sam, I note yu sent me private email advising thaqt you think I need to speak to appropriate adviser about my issues, can you direct me to anyone in particular?
Senior online community officer
I have sent my medical records to D.W.P,to no effect, I know my mental health issues ,both severe depression,but especially my Personality disorder which manifests itself in aggression when confronted?
I'm already aware of some of the Tactics,Manipulation,and Lies of the French company Atos .
I can only be myself which will see me fail or the assesment stopped by the Atos individual.
After the poor treatment of others i am already angry,they will not like who i am when confronted ?
Any help please?
Thank you...
I can hear that you are really worried about your assessment and can feel your frustration.
The first thing I would say is keep an open mind. There are many people who have had bad experience but this is about you and you need to put yourself first.
There is some information here about preparing for the assessment that you might find useful.
In terms someone to support you, do you have a support worker or family member who understands you condition that you would be able to take with you?
Going through this process is very stressful but there is help and support out there.
Rebecca
Actually I tend to 'overcare' (is that a word) about people and can get upset by certain subjects. Its just when taken as a whole, my life history is kinda on the scary side.
Have you been diagnosed with depression or is your depression part of a wider mental health issue? I would like to be able to support you the best I can.
Rebecca
I have suffered many years with severe deppression,and a violent personality disorder,during which time i met a variety of health proffessionals and C.P.N's,still taking more meds one can shake a stick at.I have now been reffered to a quite new group the P.P.S.S. the clinical phycologist ran through the usual questions noting occassionally what i said.At the end she asked a question no other had asked me? " Why after counselling with the people from " MIND" did i get greater comfort,support,and well being than all other C.P.N's"? Great question i thought.
Answer to me was so straight forward,i explained that sitting in a room with C.P.N's etc firing their questions,bog standard the same as they did to the paitient before,and the patient after me,all the time thinking to myself how in personal,i bet thier really more concerened, Have i fed the cat-do i have enough petrol to get home,should have topped up,what on earth can i have for dinner just for a change,etc,etc? But the caring people at MIND do it differently,they are willing to not just willing to listen and take notes but crucially re-count their own hardships in life that quite often were similar to my own,in some cases even more tragic,always remaing confidetial of names.I would leave their rooms feeling finally someone really cares and listens and most impotantly contributes by relating mine to theirs hardships " Sincere Sincererty"....x
TK
Please let me know how I can help
Rebecca
I think that it was a great question and I hope that the way you answered it will perhaps give them an insight into how others work. I feel that the NHS is a wonderful thing but they are struggling financially, struggling to recruit and keep staff and struggling to keep up with the amount of paperwork the government demands of them making the services they offer not necessarily the services we need when we need it.
I hope that some of the changes the government is making within the mental health services and the awareness that is being raised in the media about mental health will go so way to changing things for the better.
Rebecca
Hi Rebecca
I work with someone who has mental health problems. There are times when things go wrong. How can I get help for my department and me so we know how to handle this without situations becoming work place gossip?
Ray
How did it go with the psychiatrist? Unfortunately PIP is not my strong point but there is some great advice on here. You might want to start with this.
Having to go through to process and the uncertainty is very stressful and can further impact on your mental health. Doing some research and understanding the process better can really help you as you will have a better understanding of what information you might be asked for and questions you could be asked. Also talking to others who have gone or who are going through the process might help you and our online community is a great place to start.
Good luck with the process
Rebecca
You have the right to access information about yourself and can discuss this with your GP or with the Community Mental Health team of which he was part. There may be some circumstances where they will not grant you access to some parts of your record if they feel that this may have a detramental affect on your mental health but they will be able to discuss that with you.
Rebecca
It sounds as though things are very difficult for you at the moment and I can hear that you are really struggling. I am wondering what support you do have at the moment and whether you can tell me a little more about what is happening for you?
Rebecca
I was hoping you may be able to give me abit of advice. My 18 yr old son has severe anxiety, it came on all of sudden last year, hes now at the point he cant leave the house. I had to pay for a private Councillor cbt as the nhs wanted him to go to group meeting. He has stopped seeing his Councillor after a couple of home visits. I dont know if im doing right from wrong, do i let him deal with it on his own with my help, which i dont know what im doing. This is what he wants or do make him see someone. Its so hard seeing him the way he is and how it affects him. I dont know whats best. Hope you can point me in the right direction
Kind regards
Louise
I can hear that things have been very difficult for you. It must be very stressful trying to get your son the help that you can see that he needs. I am wondering if there was anything that triggered the anxiety that he is suffering?
You have said that he stopped seeing the councillor after a couple of home visits. Can I ask, is this because he didn’t want to engage or something else?
It is clear that you want to best for him but you can’t force him to accept help, he can’t start to get better until he, first he has to accept he needs the help and then accept the help. The only thing you can continue to do is to be there for him. Look out for him, support him the best you can.
You need to make sure that you are also taking care of yourself, the situation that you are in is stressful and worrying. Perhaps there are some support groups for careers in the area that you could attend?
I know that what I have said doesn't really help you move forward, but you are clearly doing the right thing for you son by looking for answers.
I am really sorry to hear about the difficulties that you are having with your brother. Sometimes it can be very difficult to understand what to do for the best. It is really important to understand the reasons that the psychiatrist is not keen on the idea and what their support plan will be for him once he leaves the hospital. Is there anyone within his support team that you can sit down with and talk to about your brothers options?
It is also really important to talk to your brother, about what he wants and the help and support he thinks will be beneficial to him.
Thank you for your reply, im not 100% sure on what caused it but we are putting it down to a stomach bug he had for about 5 weeks. He had to send samples off and tried different medication to try and sort it but they made him ill. Since then he just got worse, he felt the councillors were not helping and they were making him feel worse, and he felt they weren't listening to him. I feel alot better now with your advise and ill wait till hes ready to see someone. Thank you so much for your help
Louise
Rebecca
Ive been looking for help for so many months now regarding my husband. My husband was diagnosed with schizophrenia 12 years ago, and has recently been taken of pip as he failed the assessment we put in for mandatory reconsideration and also got declined there. So we have appealed to a tribunal. I sent the paper work of to the tribunal in January but im finding it so hard to get evidence for his mental health has this mental health team does not seem to be helping at all i must of phoned them several time to get evidence of his problems but there's always some excuse they give me that they cant help with the evidence. Also we have just found out from Universal credit that my husbands money for Limited capability for work and work-related activity has also been stopped they have not given us any acknowledgement or no warning of this stopping. We are just lost my husband is now suffering from panic attacks and im on the edge of having a mental breakdown with depression and anxiety. I thought i could do this on my own and deal with my problems by myself without my husband knowing as i know he cant deal with it but i cant i just dont know where to go and who ti turn to anymore and im really hoping you can help as i feel im getting pulled into the darkest hole and theres no coming back from it and im worried for my husband as well as iam his carer
Thankyou
Rachael
I am so sorry to hear about the issues you are having with both the DWP assessments and the metal health team who are there to support you and your husband. I would love to be able to give you the answer that will enable you to get everything resolved but from the experience I have with the DWP the process is long and slow and appears to be very unfair. There are some threads relating to benefits and Scope has a great advice page that I recommend you read, if you haven't already.
I can hear how worried you are about him and how this is also impacting on you and your mental health. It is really important that you look after yourself and access support if you need it. You can't be there for your husband and support him in the way he needs it if you are suffering yourself.
Rebecca
Sleep is really important when it comes to mental health and practitioners do focus on sleep and sleep patterns a lot, it can help them understand where you are and an improved sleep pattern and improve your mental health, but having said that it is also really important that you feel listened to and if there are things that you want to talk about they should allow you to do that.
Perhaps the next time you have an appointment you could try explaining that you feel that they are too focused on your sleep and ask them to explain how they think that getting your sleep patterns sorted they feel this will help?
Rebecca
I Suffer with depression and severe anxiety. I've also got very high blood pressure and suffer with panic attacks. I also suffered 13 years of domestic violence and abuse from a previous partner who also raped me more than several times. I won't go anywhere on my own at all. I'm in a right mess and really don't know in witch way to turn or go. I'm skipping meals constantly in really low mood. Lacking in any form of motivation. And really really don't like asking at all for help. As I think I can take the world on. But I know that I can't. It's my benifits I've been on E.s.a. For nearly 2and a half years. But all I get is £114:54 a fortnight no more that's it. And I more than struggling. I have no other one to turn to as my family is a complete waste of time. And have not bothered with for the last 5 years.the only family member I look up to and that's my uncle whom I live with. And had been a good support for me. But it fells as if I'm screaming and shouting at the top of my voice but no one is listening to me. I'm just the girl who everyone has forgotten about and don't deserve no help or support in life. I'm the girl who carries a big smile on my face.and pretends everything is OK. When really it's killing me and behind the closed door I brake my heart everyday saying why me. Everything has got on top of me. And fells like a burden i can't get rid of. Nor have I got anyone else to help me. I feel isolated, constantly numb and alone. But it's not just just me I deal with its my uncle to has he's got learning difficulties and disability's.
And I could never burden him with my worries. So can you please please please help me as I'm at a complete loss
Yours faithfully
Miss sarah j Davies
Many thanks in this.
Read more at https://community.scope.org.uk/profile/applepearmommabear#temcFXARjjURqesj.99
I’m new to this group, and I would be grateful if someone can guide me through. My brother is 23 years old, has mild cerebral pulsy with mild learning difficulties. We’ve been in the UK for about 5 years, and he’s struggling to fit in or learn. Because he arrived old to the uk, he didn’t go to the school, so we tried to enroll him to different colleges and private courses but he always fail. Last tutor said he can’t stay still for a short time in one place, and has very weak concentration on lessons even with providing him special tutor who volunteered to be with him, as he lose his concentration very quickly especially when he hold his phone. He couldn’t make any friends although he love mixing with people but his problem that he doesn’t know how to interact socially. I have spoken to the mental health service if someone can help him as he’s really willing to receive help but they said this’s not the right service for him. I would really appreciate if anyone can suggest where is the right place to get support for him.
kind regards,
Saja
Hi @sarahD80
Thank you so much for feeling that you can open up to me and the Scope Community, they really are a supportive group of people.
I can hear that you are finding things really difficult and you are struggling.
You really do deserve to get help and support with how you are feeling both physically and mentally and the first step is opening up to someone and admitting that you are struggling and you have done that hear. This first step can really be the hardest step to take.
I do understand your reasons for not wanting to open up to your Uncle but talking about your worries isn’t a burden, it is part of building relationships with people.
I can hear that you feel that you don’t like asking for help, we hear that all the time. Asking for help isn’t a failure and it isn’t a burden, it is part of being human. We can’t all be strong all of the time and sometimes we have to let others help us. There are different support networks out there like the Scope community and also Mind - https://www.mind.org.uk/. You can also access help and support from Domestic Abuse networks and Women's Aid are amazing https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
You can also speak with your GP but I know that sometimes this can be a bit frightening and daunting, but they are they to make sure that you get that help and support that you need and deserve.
Rebecca
Hi @debbiedo49
I can hear that you are worried about your son and the negative comments I think are very unhelpful. I am wondering how it is that your son came to be supported by CAHMS. It is very difficult for me to give any definitive advice but from what you have said, this could be a sign of aspergers or it could be a typical 18 year old who likes to play video games. I am wondering if perhaps a conversation with CAHMS might be useful as to their reasoning for their assessment? Does your son still attend CAHMS or have/need any other support from other agencies?
Rebecca
I am really sorry but benefits isn't something I know that much about but it is something that is discussed at length within the community and may people do and have struggled with their assessments.. There is a section with the forum that you might find useful.
I can hear that this is causing you at lot of anxiety and stress and I am wondering what support you have around you to help you cope with this?
Rebecca
Welcome to the community. I can hear that you are worried about your brother and him struggling to be able to fit in.
There are a couple of websites that you can try that will be able to give you some ideas and suggestions on support groups and networks for both you and your brother. The first is CP Teens UK and the second Cerebral Palsy Org
Hope this is a help to you both
Rebecca
I have not been in charge of the financial things since my life changed , although I try to buy my own things. I am now in a wheelchair. I used to be social, active, ride horses and had run my own business, while bringing up the children too. It was a good life and we were very happy. Now, he is in control of everything from grocery shopping to paying the bills. He has become mr Nasty, then mr Nice, I hardly know which I am getting.
i think he has someone else. We are quite remote where we live, so I do not see anyone at all except the postman! He works during the week. I have to ask him to take me out on a weekend to maybe have a lunch, or for us both to go shopping of an evening.
sometimes he will and it is lovely, other times he causes an argument out of nowhere. He used to be so loving, and caring,now he looks irritated and turns the tv up when I have to use my nebilser, yet starts refilling my meds pots up when people are here, and reminding me to take them.
He says he stopped caring a long time ago, and then runs me into the ground and says really nasty things. Then when I can’t seem to take any more, he says (this morning) i’ll get you well again, then I’ll leave.
He seems to give the impression to all outside, and our families that he is a caring husband, looking after his ill wife, but no-one knows what he is really like. I don’t think they would believe me.
I am at a loss to know what to do anymore.
Hope your good
And Rebecca I'm worried about my pip benefit review form
And nothing has changed but my paranoid personality disorder
Is getting worse but it need help to put it in to words as I'm rubbish at forms
And I'm praying yous can help I'm in Edinburgh
My son was taken off DLA and put on PIP when his award was ending (had to re-apply after this date). check to see if there’s an end date to your partner’s claim Hun. It may be different for your partner but to be sure call the DLA department.