Experiencing sex for the first time.

1BentSpine

I am 54 year old female with spina bifida.  I have not had any intimate relationships with men, for a variety of reasons.  Have been thinking of going the male escort route for my first time having sex, as I think this will be the safest route to discover how I will react to being intimate.  Have dealt with both sexual and physical abuse in the past, hence the reason for going this route.  Any feedback would be appreciated.

Zec Richardson

Hi @1BentSpine
I'm sorry to hear of the abuse. 
Its difficult, using an escort will mean you are or will be extremely nervous, when it happens as part of a loving relationship, it's just natural. 
However I understand your choice, an escort will obviously be very experienced and it will remove all the usual relationship issues. 
Whatever you decide, I wish you luck and I hope it's a positive experience. 

1BentSpine

Hi Zec

The reason I would choose this route for the first time experience is that I would not want to go into a committed relationship without knowing how I would react to intimate situations and cause unnecessary tension.  I think that is how I would deal with non intimate situations too.

I know this not the way most people would deal with this, but it's the way I would feel the safest, without the expectations of a typical relationship.

Geoark

Hello @1BentSpine


It could be very helpful for you in a number of ways, but take time to pick one, speak to them first and check  that they are comfortable with the situation.

A good escort will take the time to ensure you are relaxed and comfortable. What I would suggest is being honest with the person, if you find something uncomfortable or painful mention it. He will want to make your experience pleasurable and a change in position can make a huge difference.

If you choose this route I wish you luck and hope you enjoy the experience.

PSHEexpert

Hello!

You might find it useful (perhaps) to have a little look here: http://www.outsiders.org.uk/outsidersclub/tlc/

I absolutely respect your approach; as you say, it's not for everyone, but wouldn't it be boring (and crowded) if we all took the same path!  I would suggest having a good look around to make sure you find someone who is reputable and experienced.  As Geoark says above - be absolutely upfront and honest about your physical needs and wants. You are paying for a professional service to be provided, so make sure you get what you want!

Best of luck.