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How to handle my son school

Hi everyone i have a son who is 10 an has 
Neuro development disorders with autism an polycystic kidneys.
I have been fighting for yr1 but no teachers would listen let alone help me until yr3 teacher said something is wrong so started to get paperwork ready for a FACT an an then changed yr so got dropped that teacher only concentrated on the behaviour then yr 5 who was the yr 3 teacher still had the paperwork so he got the fact then he got told by paediations he had this neuro developmental disorders with autism an that was march last yr got the paperwork in the may to start his ehcp but as of yet its not done an he goes up to secondary school this September so i dont know what to do as the school in my eyes failed my sons right to a good education please help a very stressed mum x


  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 740 Listener
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  • tashaf85
    tashaf85 Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Hi thanks for the feed back. I want my son in a special needs school so he has more chance of understanding an people who are on the similar level as him but his school now have took 9/10 mths to do his ehcp an still not been sent as the head told me that it was an senco dropped her in it an said it hasnt. I have tried to speak with lord grey about his needs for secondary school an to see what i can do an they refused to talk to me an a special needs school need the ehcp befor the can go to any school of that sort.
    Just makes me so angry i been in this situation for 6yrs 
  • Geoark
    Geoark Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,374 Disability Gamechanger

    Hello @tashaf85 and welcome to the community.

    I can understand your frustrations as my daughter was not diagnosed until she was 12.

    A couple of points. First it is the local authority who should be doing the EHCP, not the school.

    Second Despite plenty of notice just about every education authority is behind on providing these for those with statements and will miss the April deadline this year. Thats not including new cases. will give you plenty of information about EHCP

    IPSEA has a huge amount of information regarding special education needs as well as having an advice line. It is the one site I recommend to any parent with a child with a disability who are having problems with school.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • tashaf85
    tashaf85 Member Posts: 7 Listener
    The school have had tge paperwork an staff in to do the assessment an they have had near a year to send it to the council borad as i know it goes to them but im always at a brick wall with the school to just post it or fax or email it to them 
  • Geoark
    Geoark Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,374 Disability Gamechanger
    You have clearly spoken to the school, have you followed their complaint procedure yet?

    If not, ask the office for a copy of the complaint procedure and file a formal complaint with them. Normally you would need to follow this procedure before raising the complaint through the school before complaining to the local authority, however I would be tempted to put in a complaint with them at the same time considering the timescale before he moves to secondary education. I would also seriously consider talking to one of your local councillors and raise it as an issue you need help with.

    The local authority may not deal with your complaint before the school complaint procedure has been followed, but if not they will most likely to approach the school to ask for information or to push them to resolve the situation. If you have a good councillor they will have a number of routes to take to help you resolve this. Including approaching the school. I am confident once external interest is shown the school will get the necessary forms sent in quickly.

    That is the good news. If you are extremely lucky the LA will do the EHCP in the 20 weeks timescale they are supposed to and you will get what you want.

    Realistically most authorities are behind in applications with many students waiting more than a year to either get one or told they have been rejected. At which point you are looking at a long struggle to get the help and support your son needs. I am not trying to put you off, or upset you but to let you know what many families in your situation are facing on a daily basis.

    I have  used IPSEA as a parent and school governor and signpost them to parents SEN students who are struggling with their schools. Please take the time to explore the site, it is full of useful resources.

    The better informed you are the better the chances are your son will get the support he needs. We are here to support you and somewhere you can let of steam. But for your son's sake and your own sanity you need to get informed on your rights and what your options are.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • tashaf85
    tashaf85 Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Thank you thats the most help i have had in 6 yrs of his school like. The school have just had their Ofsted report an they need to make improvements across the board an its been like that for 3 inspections just says it all with all the problems i have had with them 
  • Geoark
    Geoark Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,374 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @tashaf85

    Most of the schools my daughter had been in were in special measures. One had lost its right to manage its own money. I agreed to join the governors on the understanding that I had responsibilities towards SEN provision. Worked three months with the SENCO to meet what was expected towards SEN students. 
    Got the board to agree and sat in when the SENCO explained some of the new procedures, which would have brought us to the minimum requirement but the teachers protested so the head teacher procrastinated. The next day I wrote my resignation and forwarded it to the Clerk and Chair. I really hated doing it but nothing was going to change. The head was removed shortly afterwards and a new head appointed and they are doing well now.

    I have been threatened with court action if I didn't retract a formal complaint I made at another school, but did not back down. Secondary school was pretty good until it became an academy. One of the first issues was the  home / school / student agreement. It changed the rules so that they could put a child in detention for up to two hours without informing parents. I refused to sign until they agreed to change it that the school would inform us if this happened. Then when her GCSEs were coming up the English department decided to use this clause to make the children do two hours extra for five days to improve their chances. They were told an hour before they were due to go home. My daughter called me distraught so I told her to go to the class but I would sort it out. Called the headmaster and asked when the agreement had been changed. Five minutes into the extra classes my daughter was told to go home and the teacher asked to step outside the classroom so the headmaster could have a quiet word. She was the only one to get out of it because I refused to just sign the agreement.

    That said she went onto university and got a first.

    On top of all that, once we got the diagnosis we applied for a statement but was turned down because 'the school had not allowed her to fail'!

    So I do understand your frustration and anger, but trust me if you allow it long term it will drag you down. I found by getting myself informed meant I knew what I wanted to happen and how to get results.  Most of the time though I had a good relationship with the right people.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • tashaf85
    tashaf85 Member Posts: 7 Listener
    But where do i begin i have lost my own mind when i think about it i am looking at the discrimination against laws on cab website and looking at a tribunal page an looking if i have all me side of paperwork from pead's an London hospital as he has kidney disease on both kidney an they are ment to remind him to drink loads of water so they don't failure its just a permanent brick wall im tried to kick down an its tiring and emotional as he takes his frustration out at me 
  • Geoark
    Geoark Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,374 Disability Gamechanger
    @tashaf85 sorry I have just deleted a longer post offering you some advice but then reread your post. I can pick up on the points I was going to make later on if necessary.

    'You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink'

    You can work hard and run yourself into the ground trying to get what is best for your son, or you can work smarter.

    There is a UK charity which has been working specifically in SEN provisions in our schools and have helped thousands of parents to take on schools and sort things out including winning tribunals over the years.

    Their staff are highly trained in this area of law, and many are parents of children with special education needs.

    This charity provides training to local authority SEN teams, schools, school governors and others equipping them with the legal knowledge they need to effectively do their jobs.

    Their website provides a huge range of resources, they have a general helpline and a tribunal helpline. 

    With the exception of the training their services are free.

    The name of  this charity is Independent Parental Special Education Advice or IPSEA.

    To be clear my only association as with this charity is having used their services. 

    This realy is the oasis in the desert.

    If you think things are tough with his primary school there is good chance this will be a picnic compared to mainstream secondary schools. Even getting into a special needs school some parents have continued to have issues.

    I know I have mentioned this charity to you twice already, but seriously just look  at the site and if you don't think it is for you fair enough. After referring many parents and school governors to this site you would be the first if you came back and said you did not find it helpful.

    Here is a good starting point:

    Either way I am happy to try and help and support you.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • ParentingAdvisorVikki
    ParentingAdvisorVikki Member Posts: 45 Connected
    Hi Tasha, 

    First of all, i'm sorry that you've found yourself in that situation with the school. Unfortunately you are not the first, and won't be the last. 

    1. It is harder to get an EHCP in a new school. as part of the EHCP requirement is a certain amount of evidence, in that setting, of things they are or aren't doing to help. Each child with additional needs should have an Individual provision plan, which outlines any extra support your child is getting. They will ask for at least 3 of these, which span over a full school term each. It is down to the school to keep a record of support, meetings and any behavioural incidents (ie meltdowns) 

    2. To get into a specialist school your local county has to make a recommendation and therefore would need to be part of an EHCP. 

    3. you can make a parental request for an ehcp - which would help - and the school HAVE to give the evidence they have. You can specify who at the school fills in the forms and you can bypass the senco if they are an issue.  

    4. you can ask the paediatrician to write a letter supporting you and your concerns. 

    5. Independent support is available throughout he national autistic trust. 

    6. ASK FOR A MEETING WITH THE SENCO, HEAD TEACHER AND CLASS TEACHER - the senco should be helping you get your child the support they need. I know funding is an issue with the schools and am having an issue this end too (my son gets 1:1 in mainstream and it isnt enough). 

    If you need anything please let me know and I don't mind helping. 
  • tashaf85
    tashaf85 Member Posts: 7 Listener
    @ParentingAdvisorVikki thank you so much for that advice on my son.
    I am now at this point going through all the paperwork to see if i have missed anythink as i have got the formal complaint form from the school an have the council sen involved as the senco at the school just seems to ignore me an my messages we are waiting for paperwork from a lady who can into the school to see what extra help could be given.
    The school have lied about his ehcp the head said it was sent an now senco said it has not he has been bullied by 14 pupils and nothing was done they 8made the bullies be his fake friends an now ofsted has been in an the outcome is the school need to improve in all areas across the board.
    I am now thinking of going to tribunal as its a discrimination against disability act for children's education they have failed not me but him an his education an needs so if you could help that would be great  
  • ParentingAdvisorVikki
    ParentingAdvisorVikki Member Posts: 45 Connected
    In my opinion you need to focus on going forward, and not stuff that has happened in the past. 
    How far along the EHCP process are you?
  • tashaf85
    tashaf85 Member Posts: 7 Listener
    I have no i dear i just get fobbed of all the time @ParentingAdvisorVikki so i have been on ipsea site to see if i need to do anything my end an looked at the model letters ect its all in school hands as he starts secondary school September so we have until July to sort it all out 
  • ParentingAdvisorVikki
    ParentingAdvisorVikki Member Posts: 45 Connected
    Ok, So lets do this:
    Write a letter to the local authority, and request a STATUTORY ASSESSMENT. 
    The letter should say something like:

    To whom it may concern, 

    I would like to request statutory assessment for my child NAME IN CAPS.
    I feel my child meets the requirement for an EHCP. 

    His details are:

    Thanks you

    Sign off letter. 

    Send this to the local authority and they will send you the relevant paperwork. 
    A request has to be made in writing and is the quickest way to get an EHCP.

    Hope that helps.

    Let me know when you've heard back from them and we will crack on! 

  • nicw3
    nicw3 Member Posts: 20 Connected
    Hi I completely agree with ParentingAdvisorVikki you as a parent have every right to request an assessment. Don't let school dragging their feet impact on your needs. Unfortunately we parents have to be very, very proactive and battle for what our children need! Here in Leeds we have a very helpful parent support for these situations called Sendias. Where they support parents when they are having schooling issues. I don't know if you have anything similar where you are that could fight your corner?
    Good luck with it, stay strong and don't be fobbed off. 


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