Facebook and internet chat sites a good thing or a bad thing

laurahc__

Victoriad said:

And that’s why I avoid it like the plague ......why invite all that unnecessary intrusion and stress into your life?

I just don’t get it.

This is why I don't use Facebook as much now. I also don't follow people that I don't want to follow, hence reducing the negativity. But I am so so glad that social media wasn't really around when I was a teenager! I could have a **** day at school but it would be over by 3.10 and I was free of it. Now there's no escape.

debbiedo49

I personally quit Facebook as I believe it brings out all the negative sides to people’s personalities and encourages paranoia. On there people can misinterpret what you are writing so easily and before you know it there’s a big misunderstanding and people fall out. There’s also those people who are brave behind a keyboard who won’t say the things to your face they say online. The final nail in the fb coffin for me has been the lack of privacy and the potential for people to snoop on you online. This is way to easy to do. My theory on this is, don’t put anything online you don’t want your friends of family of employers to see. I prefer to use an assumed name online for privacy reasons and that’s my choice. There are other decent social media sites where you don’t have to post your whole life online and still benefit from the services. I also don’t like the idea of sites storing my info online as you don’t know who can access it or who they can pass it on to. Peace Out

Clarecook1973

I totally agree with u hun and I don't really get the whole what I had for dinner thing I must tell everyone kinda thing I just find I don't see many people it's the only way I get to see how they are i do miss the days when people used to pop round for a cuppa and a nat but those days seem to be gone more is the pity and oh yes the paranoia side I defiantly agree with its fuelled mine and it's also true people are happy to say things on there but not face to face I don't know makes me feel sad people need to be like that 

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Clarecook1973

Thankyou Victoria for your comment you come over so positive. 
Been really touched to be honest by this group everyone's so supportive and kind I'm not used to it x 

Clarecook1973

Your spot on there like some people only comment negatively n it's not a honest comment just snipes at you just can't see how that make a them feel happy with doing that to people on purpose 

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laurahc__

Username_removed said:

As if the 1st of January 2018 I turned off all tablet and phone notifications bar emails and turned off sound for everything bar phone calls. I’ve never used the vibrate function. I’m no less informed; don’t feel the pressure to constantly check for every thing that pops up on screen or at every sound and I feel much more relaxed online and in full control of what I see and when. I’ve been amazed at how much more relaxed I am and my sleep is getting better too. 

This is a good idea, so much so that I've muted notifications except calls/texts and whatsapp.

Part of me wants to delete Facebook but it's nice to be able to see how friends are doing if they live in other countries. Geographically I can't pop round for a g&t with my friends who live in India, Germany, Australia etc and whilst I totally get the whole rose-tinted glasses thing about what we see online, it allows us to stay connected. 

sandyp196

Iv had some bad times on fb with family.  I never realised how many family events I'm excluded from before fb. I wish I still didn't know.  I have had bad patches where I overshare on fb. I can't help it but instead of support I get criticised and bullied and told to shut up and stop embarrassing myself and the family.  These are the same people who post the mental health and disability awareness posts on a regular basis. It really upsets me and I find it a little offensive too. 
I never knew my family had such issues with my illness. They have holidays, wedding, events and even funerals that Im not told about or invited to. I didn't K ow my own grandmother had died until after the funeral. 
OK it's true I can be a bit unpredictable when stressed and I have caused arguments at events, but it's not intentional. 
Lots of photos are shared. I'm not in any. Iv even asked if any photos exist of me at all. 
I like sewing and I regularly used to post pics of things I made. My family expected them for free and it was costing me a fortune. So a counsellor told me to stop posting,  and actually not to go near fb when I felt unwell. 
I set up a sewing group for me and a few ladies I 'met' in other sewing groups.  My group has been such a good thing. Iv met some nice friends and now have a best friend who iv met in person.  IM on fb a lot but I actually  don't post much on the public fb anymore. I have the company I crave from othet more positive people. 
Social media is a lifeline for me. I live alone and have no friends or family near and I struggle to get out and about. I would be totally isolated without social media. But yes it's difficult to find the balance to keep yourself safe. 
Just recently I saw family members arranging a holiday to Spain.  I had a message and I thought wow are they actually inviting me. All excited I looked at the message and it was a family member asking me to make them 7 fancy dress costumes for the holiday.  No money was offered and no invite either.  It's very hurtful. But luckily I now have some good friends and I have been invited on my first ever holiday by my best friend. I don't know if I can actualy do that, but the invite meant so much to me. 

Clarecook1973

Hi hun @sandyp196
  I really feel for you hun that's awlful they would leave u out of all those family  events with out even inviting you to any of them.
It's easy for me to say there loss not yours but blinking hell must be do hard for you n i don't want to sound like I'm being patronising but i do know how u feel in the past I've been left out of family events and get togethers but now I just think well there loss I am a nice person n I would have made the day nice if I had been there but just have to try n live our lives as best we can. I'm always round if u wanna chat hun 

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sandyp196

Victoriad said:

Hello @sandyp196
Do yourself a great favour and delete fb it’s not a lifeline but a ball and chain from reading your post.

Be strong please and delete it.

Your true friends will find other ways if contacting you, believe me.

That would be great if I had any true friends, but I don't.  I need to stay in touch with the world, and regardless of how my family feel about me, I still care about them and can't cut myself off like that. If I came off social media I woukd be totally isolated.  It's different and an easier decision for people who DO have real life friends. 
I don't.   

sandyp196

Clarecook1973 said:

Hi hun @sandyp196
  I really feel for you hun that's awlful they would leave u out of all those family  events with out even inviting you to any of them.
It's easy for me to say there loss not yours but blinking hell must be do hard for you n i don't want to sound like I'm being patronising but i do know how u feel in the past I've been left out of family events and get togethers but now I just think well there loss I am a nice person n I would have made the day nice if I had been there but just have to try n live our lives as best we can. I'm always round if u wanna chat hun 

Thank you. That is so nice. I'm sorry that hapoened to you to, but it makes me feel less alone that I'm not the only one x

Clarecook1973

No your defiantly not alone some people don't understand depression and I think it's easier for them to just cut us out of there functions etc as maybe they don't know what to say or how to act around us. I can honestly say since I've been coming in this group I feel supported and know n9ne of us are completely alone 

Clarecook1973

I am thinking about it now think I'm.just in a cycle at the moment I'l get there but thankyou to everyone who commented your all lovely people and I feel honoured to have met you all