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Help.....again

Paddie

I'm so sorry to be "the" negative person on here. I've asked for help before & was so grateful for every single response I had.
However, im lower than ever.
life, seems purposeless to me.
something is obviously wrong with me as I have never experienced such a low mood before.
im soooo frightened & don't know what to do.... I've seen my GP. He has started me on antidepressants & whilst I know, they take a time to "kick in"... I just am so low, not sure that I can wait for tablets to work.
im so very sorry to write such a negative post but I can't help it.
ease forgive me if I have caused distress or upset to anyone.
just, desperately searching, for help.....

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Comments

Mum72

Dear Paddie....I have suffered with depression on and off all my life and I`m now 72! Last year I went through a lot of anxiety with my son as he has special needs, unemployed etc.
My GP noticed it before me that my mood was very low! I finally went to pieces, couldn`t eat or talk without getting upset and my nerves were shot! She put me on Citalopram but they really didn`t kick in for several weeks! I couldn`t function! I am so much better now! It does take a while and I was prayed for as I am a christian! I think it my case it was caused by stress and anxiety which got worse and worse over time! I do hope you will be a lot better soon, will pray for you if that`s okay! If not please let me know!

robswangardens

I know what you mean about being frightened. I've been living with depression for many years and for me the worst symptom is the horrible fear. The tablets will help once they kick in. They don't solve the problem but they do make it more manageable.

Paddie

Mum72 said:

Dear Paddie....I have suffered with depression on and off all my life and I`m now 72! Last year I went through a lot of anxiety with my son as he has special needs, unemployed etc.
My GP noticed it before me that my mood was very low! I finally went to pieces, couldn`t eat or talk without getting upset and my nerves were shot! She put me on Citalopram but they really didn`t kick in for several weeks! I couldn`t function! I am so much better now! It does take a while and I was prayed for as I am a christian! I think it my case it was caused by stress and anxiety which got worse and worse over time! I do hope you will be a lot better soon, will pray for you if that`s okay! If not please let me know!

Paddie

Dear Mum72. I am so grateful for your reply... it has given me some hope. I too, am a Christian & I pray regularly.
so yes, thankyou for your prayers.
in thought & prayer ??
xxx

Paddie

Dear rob... thank you for your thoughts & words of advice.... I am trying to hang on & hope the time will come when I start to feel better.....

EmmaB

Dear @Paddie

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling really low, the medication will take some time to kick in but the best 'medication' for depression that you may not have tried is exercise...

That doesn't have to be running a marathon or walking for miles just any activity you can muster could well help - even if it's walking to the end of your path or your road, walking, running, cycling, stretching, Yoga, anything goes! I totally appreciate it might be the last thing you want to do but if you can do it you might just find it will help.

I wrote an article 'Get Yourself Active' for Motability's Lifestyle magazine recently which is on my website, which I hope you might find interesting:

https://emmawestcounselling.wixsite.com/mysite/articles

Setting even just the smallest activity goal will be a small step in a positive direction - there's a lovely Chinese Proverb: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

As you have Christian leanings you could also try speaking to the vicar/priest at your local church as they may have some suggestions e.g. perhaps they need volunteers to do small jobs at the church - again even just doing something very small could well help chip away at your depression and help make you feel worthwhile again?

I hope that helps.

Best wishes.

Emma

Jazzguitar

Take Care. Neville Pearson

debbiedo49

Been there myself, asking for help and receiving help are ways which we can start to get better. Remember that some meds take time to work and you may feel a bit worse before you feel better as it will state on the instructions in the pack. Keep talking and you will get there. Also I don’t know if you are being referred for other help or can self refer while you are recovering? Try to do one thing each day to make you feel happy or smile and you will get better. There’s lots of lovely people on here to talk to and listen to. Best wishes

Pippa_Alumni

We're thinking of you, @Paddie. You've had some great advice from other community members, but do keep us updated and let us know if we can be of any assistance. I hope today's as kind as possible to you.

thespiceman

Hello @Paddie Sorry what you are going through. I am a Christian as well.

All I can say it is difficult when new meds kick in. My advice have a look on line for any support. Information to help you cope. Consider a mental health charity. Use them for well being, health and other support. Such as benefits. Time is often limited so make use of them if you can.

I am always around on this forum. Helps me for my own mental health issues. Always ready to listen.

Consider also look a what you are doing nutrition diet wise. Anxiety and depression certain foods can inhibit your well being.

Caffeine, Alcohol are not helpful in combating anxiety and depression. Because if you feel the need for to cope. You reach for a drink or tea or coffee can make you feel worse..

Eat small meals snacks but try to be well balanced simple easy ones. I am quite happy to give you recipes that are easy and simple to do.

Do a diary small steps for doing what you can. This could be anything you wish to. I use this like a planner. One aspect of mental health is the desire to not do a lot. Being clean, healthy and care about yourself. I have been there and some days do not wish or have the desire to do things. We all do.

Be concerned if I was not.

Make it simple for yourself if you can. Use on line for shopping if you can. Be aware of what you need to survive. Make sure everything is covered . Forgetting to do rent, bills and anything else related. Just a suggestion.

Do a little exercise. If you can house work and being a tidy up is one. Nothing much. Been a lot of good excellent suggestions. From community members.

Hope I have been of help. You are among friends. Remember also consider looking at MIND website lots of useful stuff.

Please take care

Always in prayers.

@thespiceman

Paddie

Thank you Spiceman. A lot of helpful advice which I truly appreciate.
i know it takes a while for the antidepressants to kick in.
Im just not coping with the way my life has changed due to my health condition.
i was always so active, swimming, cycling & walking the coastal paths.
i loved driving but struggle due to Hip issues. My life has changed beyon belief & I know I should concentrate on what I can do rather that what I can't but as I can do very little, it's pointless.
Im not a woman that wants to grow old gracefully..... I still want to go out have a drink & dance.... like I used to.
i feel in my heart I still have so much to do & offer.
I miss not working.
i just feel totally useless!!!!

EmmaB

Hi @Paddie

Who wants to grow old gracefully! I like your style...

It sounds in some ways you are dealing with a 'bereavement' [bereavement doesn't have to be about someone dying...] - the Paddie you used to be, and now you are having to find the new Paddie who still has a lot to offer and still wants to do things.

Could you take up any of the activities you used to love again, even if it's only on a very small scale or even at home e.g. cycling [if that is OK with your hip]?

Is there any work that you could still do? Even if you just start off doing something voluntarily a few hours a week as it sounds like this aspect of your life is really important to you? Workplaces should offer reasonable adjustment, there is also Access to Work and Permitted Earnings.

Working definitely helps in terms of feeling more useful but also in terms of structure which can have a big impact on mental health.

Good luck with finding the new Paddie.

Emma

thespiceman

Hello @Paddie Thank you reply. Please can I add this is an illness and please can also add never your fault.

You are not useless. Understand this all of us had and done things to be proud of.

I forgot to add in my piece. Comfort box. This is a place you create. Small space or a folder where you can have things to comfort and ease the symptoms.

Scrap book could be a photos, favourite poems, music and pieces of literature, words help. We all have inspirations and ideas.

The comfort box include scented candles, any holiday memories anything that reminds you of your achievements.

What this does to give you a uplift, a feeling, sense of purpose. Something to hold on to.

This was suggested to me by a mental health support worker.

I have my memories of Northern Soul, CD's and lots of books, poems, well being. My bible. Favourite recipes. Just a suggestion. Helps me and I have found eases and helps the symptoms.

Like every illness you will feel better. Fully understood be young at heart. Write down how you feel your emotions, make some goals. The one thing I should say speak to a mental health charity. All the tools I use is from them.

Having this you can self refer. As long you agree to their plans and goals they may set for you. Lots of mental health charities. Have wellbeing groups on how to manage the conditions you have. The need for sleep, medication, diet, wellbeing plus groups often are good to look at.

Was as I say alcoholic found it did not stand well with my illness. You need to be aware of that alcohol. Can effect your mental state. Plus medication. Just a polite suggestion.

I did all this and got a load of qualifications. That I worked for. To help me understand the illness I have. Reason I could and do pass it on to others like myself.

Have a look at AGE UK website might qualify for support and help.

Hope we can be supportive anytime. Ready to listen.

Take care

@thespiceman

Paddie

To spiceman, thank you once again for all your advice. It means a lot to me & it also makes sense.
i had to have a little giggle at your "polite suggestion" re the Alcohol. Extremely diplomatic..., actually, I've not had a laugh or giggle in a long time. So, well done!!!!!
Bw Paddie

thespiceman

Hello @Paddie Glad to hear make you laugh. Just being polite.

Long time ago some one told me to watch my alcohol intake. Unfortunately did not listen. That was the cause for my own health and eventually my life changing.

All of us who have travelled down that road. If you think you consider alcohol is effecting your mental health.

Studies show that is does and the warning signs are evident.

These include drinking to feel relaxed, confidence. Needing more.

Understanding the need to forget and memory problems.

Drinking the need and always wanting a drink. Anytime.

Have a drink with meals but constantly drinking not eating.

Drinking effecting work, relationships and family.

Moods and downs. Shakes and constant tremors. Body changes such as night sweats, weight loss.

Unable to give up even though friends, family, partners. Doctor tells you . Harming health.

Binge drink is amongst the other dangerous signs. This is when you may have a few days not drinking then have a binge on drink.

Remember if you doing any of these signs you need to speak to a Doctor.

Only you can decide. I never get involved with other peoples alcohol consumption.. Because it can effect me.

Lost so many friends because of it. Need I say more.

I have and do have deep resect for every body. On the community or who I meet on the forum. If I can help and advise .

A concerned member of the community.

@thespiceman

Paddie

Dear Spiceman.
i totally understand re the Alcohol issues.
i have had many years of abstinence only to fall into the "trap" of thinking.... I can control it this time.
you can never control Alcohol!
I'm lucky in as much as I can say to friends/ relatives, that I can't drink due to medication I have to take.
some "friends" can not understand why you don't /can't drink & can be a bit "put out" if your not drinking with them. but that's there problem......
there is life after Alcohol!
Thanks again for your support... means a lot
Bw Paddie

thespiceman

Hello @Paddie Thank you for reply. Understand everything. I was just being a concerned gent.

I am clean but even so every day get the itch. As I call it. Have to consider ways to stop thinking about having a drink. Do have strategies and ways to do this.

Happy to share if you wish to.

Never easy. By the way met alcoholics who are like me abstinence but the thoughts are there. Always following some one who has been abstinence.

I had a condition called alcoholic amnesia. Which means I drink to oblivion and black out ca n not remember anything before. Which does make interesting comments because have met people last few years. Who have known me yet I have a not a clue about them.

Met me when I doing it all over the place and often wake up strange towns, places, homes.

My friend who used to work in the clinics and associated organisations. Related to help all those have issues. Sign of the cuts and funding.

He supports me. He was an alcoholic been absent for a little longer than me. I asked one day you get the issues and thoughts. Every day. He said all the time.

Another loads of fears for those wishing to stop The cuts and funding issues.. Angry and annoyed over it. Very upsetting because it is happening every way you look. Alcoholism.

Unfortunately many do not get the treatment they deserve and I am afraid to tell you. That the next step is well you know the answer to that. Sorry to bring that up and shock or upset you. I apologise.

Just do not want to frighten you. That is all and being tactful.

Let me say that the concern I have. For members of our community. Who are alcoholics and can not get the help they need.

Went to AA once had problems with the people there and the organisation. The structure and premise of it all. Met very few what I call alcoholics like me. Who over a long period have still issues. Thoughts and feelings. This desire to drink. Even though I could never do it again. Been too much. Had lots of health issues around it all.

No one allowed me to talk. Met no one been through clinic, rehab and other places. Like myself 18 months to two years plus to come off and be dry. Go to rehab, clinics and do it right and proper.

Got nominated a sponsor at once he made feel insecure and very much in my face. Controlling and domineering. All through first time met these people of the group.

No one wanted to talk to me. Isolated and this one person irritating me.

I recall coming home talking to my friend and then got a phone call. From the area Co- Ordinator. Explaining all about his alcohol problems . Being a disease.

I told him the truth and was very honest, candid about the whole organisation. He sort of hung up and that was that.

Never went back. Since leaving that use this forum for support.

Thought I explain a little about my issues and my background.

I hope I can be supportive to you if you need anything. Happy to do so.

Pleasure to meet you .

@thespiceman

Paddie

Dear Spiceman.......I attended AA & as you say your not allowed to talk. It works for some but I'm afraid it didn't for me.
i used to live in Coventry & they had a group called The Friday Night Group ( still running) amazing group.
A self help group... they had members who had been Alcohol free for over 5/10 even 20 years.
it was a relaxed group with some rules but you mainly sat round in a circle with Tea & biscuits.
some one would always start off by asking if anyone was struggling and then people joined in with advice.
It helped & continues to help so many.
i learnt so much from this group.
i recall being told.... if you get the urge to drink..... drink as much water as you can even if it made you feel sick.
i miss this group terribly.
im not sure if they started an "on line" forum.
I will check that out!
There was always someone to phone if you were struggling or on the verge of drinking...... everyone was told "before you pick up that drink...pick up the phone!!!!"
i stayed sober with them for over 3yr's.
i so wish ( & it was my intention when I moved away) I could have started a group like that where I live now.
Health issues put pay to that!
There is so much advice I remember & would love to pass on however, as I'm now drinking albeit very little, I feel I would be a hypocrite.
my intention is to completely stop again.
But my GP feels ( due to my low mood) that I should wait till the antidepressants kick in.
I actually agree with him but equally I can not wait to be free of Alcohol again.
Maybe we can support each other?
Have you heard of Addaction? They can help & give advice.
Please, stay alcohol free, it's just not worth drinking..... you have come so far.... always have a glass of water with you......
sorry, I think I have gone on too much & I hope you forgive me.
Bw
Paddie

thespiceman

Hello @Paddie Thank you for kind messages and words. You have not gone on. Understand everything you are saying.

Love to support each other. I know about the glass of water. Have always glass of water. All the time on my table.

I am absent as I have said for around now eleven years. Must say though the worst part for me is the itch and need . To have a drink.

Talking to an alcoholic councillor she told me it is the addictive nature of some people who have this in built in them. To have a drink.

Often turn to things like Sugar, Spicy food, hence my user name. To combat the craving.

Part of the withdrawal process is the constant high to replace that then the low. So I believe by eating Chill's, Spices and have things in place.

Certain items of foods do help. One is good old cereal with milk. I like cornflakes. Eat a big box in a bout a month.

Sugar craving because of alcohol has sugar in it. You get the sugar fix. So things like Wholemeal Bread with Honey, my custard and often sort of fixes. One is Malt loaf. Sometimes have that. Have fruit, Apples anything like that.

This makes a change old days after a drinking session would eat two boxes of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes 500g big boxes. A week.

Ballooned up to a enormous weight . Eating junk food . As well alcohol.

Then stopped eating literally ended up just drinking, barely eating. Lost so much weight.

Doctor would have put me into hospital. Eventually found some how to consider what I was doing. Have muscle loss and weakness but that has now sort of changed to building up myself. Still have not good muscles on arms. Just very thin arms.

Know legs are a problem.

Like your comments on support groups. So it is not me.

Tried so many times to set things up. Problem is funding, second is I am frightened to get involved with other alcoholics their history.

One lad was a mate decided after five years relapsed. I find out turns out his girlfriend does not know. He has an addiction history. So he starts drinking. Much to my horror rang me up.

She had found out gone and now he is back drinking I said will help but it is not possible because he will effect my well being.

Even turned up at my house with a pack of beer can I have a drink here . He said . I was shocked. Asked him make an appointment with clinic and hope I can help. Been the person as he declined and has been gone out of my life for a long time.

That is the issues people in many of the problems they have with alcohol. No where to go. I live in a rural back water. Funding cut. My mental health charity that I used to be part of.

Has therapists, councillors and support. Unfortunately there are lines of support. Being waiting on a list.

I will be OK just suggestion small steps. Hope you be OK. Apologise for long post. We can help each other if you wish to.

Glad to listen. Anytime.

.

robswangardens

Can I just say I'm finding this discussion really helpful. I'm trying to stop drinking myself and it's really helpful to see other people talking about this stuff. Most of my drinking has been attempted in secret so it seems like a release to see people talking about alcohol openly.