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ESA and mental health

Hi to everyone in the community.I have come on here for some advice Firstly six months ago i recieved the dreaded esa50 form which i sent back along with all the medical evidence and not yet heard anything back.I am already in the support group and still on dla as i have not as yet been invited to claim pip.However my problem is this I have Hiv .epilepsy copd and mental health i am diagnosed with personality disorder.i am 57yrs old and have selfharmed since a teenager.However i have not self harmed in recent yrs .But my depression and anxiety runs deep within me and the continouse assessments and the thought of the pip form coming through the post is causing me so much stress i have stopped taking my hiv medication and recent bloodtest have shown the virus is again building up and detectable as i would rather die than live a life of humiliation.this has ofcause upset my hiv specialist.But unfortunatly i have done many mad things suicidally in my life and all this benefits business is returning me to my old self and no mental health worker has ever made a difference as its difficult for me to carry on when some people are trying to help me but on the other hand the dwp assessments or even just waiting for the next form is destroying me.i am at a loss.
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edited to add: I was waiting since June after sending ESA50 back to Maximus and decided after three months and got someone to phone them and sort it which it was in August.
Just had my ESA result Paper based and that completely ignoring all my physical and life long, degenerative condition (s) which was how I got into the Support Group in 2014 and used evidence I'd sent in to back everything up and detailing I'm not going to improve and never be able to work.
On my assessment report ESA85A from 2014 it clearly states ( deterioration function noted) and because of my physical conditions I was placed in the SG for 3 years. No mental health where used.
Now what don't make sense I spoke with the DWP again today to get the new ESA85A as I diden't recieve it the last one I ask for, I then ask the lady the question again how is it I was put back in the SG for 2 years, she said it was because of my mental health nothing to do with my physical condition (s) how the hell when it's stated ( deterioration in function noted) etc on my last assessment and this was backed up with all the evidence I sent in before plus all new stuff.
They've totally ignored all my physical disability's COPD etc. I know full well this time I should have been put in the exemption group.
I have documented evidence that that I will never improve but they feel to carry on tormenting us with these assessments when they know full well I can never be well or work again. I had my PIP and they have justified everything and gave me on-going award.
How they decide this crap is beyond me they just like to punish us for being this way and drain.
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