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CAUSE FOR CONCERN HOW DID THIS HAPPEN AND WHY?

thespiceman

Hello having some problems here today well for a few weeks really.

Having problems struggling with communication and also my train of thought is getting muddled. Confusion all around. Days times and lots of little things. Used to so alert and with it .

All I ever wanted is to make people understand me. Simple things are turning into small time dramas.

How did this happen. Going to Doctors tomorrow for a review. Asked to by surgery attached a note to prescription.

So thought here we go again . Have to go out. So that is the big worry. Have not been out for months scared to do so but will have to.

Second one this morning getting muddled, tongue tired with call to new taxi firm. Wrote a script and word for word. Got my self in a state I had to explain again to some one.

Now panic setting in because I had to do this again. Use a taxi firm but have to. Anxiety concerned if they do not turn up. Like last time.

No choice find out tomorrow whether surgery has volunteer driver service, Also anything else mental health what is available services around.

Problem is this mental health I have can cope not in any danger to myself and also try to take care of my self. Issues are the anxiety and depression need some one around just for support and anything else and other aspects of this issues like confusion.

Problems are also one final point used all the mental health charities in the area I live in and they do not want you back. Last one do recommend to others but we have this system do we not.

Once your better out you go and after care non existent. Which I stressed last time to mental charity because numbers of fellow friends in the charity concerned.

Wandering around hopeless and lost. Have been dealt a heavy blow. No one to turn. So gone backwards and still want help. Add to that seek my intervention, support and use and abuse my friendship their own ends.

How and why did all this all go wrong.

I had this intelligent I thought of idea we all of us suffering and having problems help and support each other. Even asked last mental health charity to look into after care. In support group. We former clients or service user set up but it is to no avail.

All about ticking boxes and budgets, funding.

I do not understand how though I have ended up like this. Woke up this morning not realising what day this is. Simple tasks and chores become a scene from a Carry on Film.

Something happens.

I have days of calm and be serene close my eyes for a minute and it is dark and where is the time going.

All I know doing this helps me mentally every day.

Thank you from me to my friends I love you all. Because I have this space to talk and share, care.

@thespiceman

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chockies

Hi @thespiceman it’s me Chockies again,

I am sorry to hear that you are having some troubles today and wished it would be different.

I understand that this will not help, though lots of your symptoms there are what I also go through.

The confusion makes a bit of a mess of things doesn’t it!

One thing that might help if I can say, is that if you do this: are hard on yourself for messing things up, try not to be. It’s not your fault.

You may may not do that, but if you do then the words are there.

Chockies.

thespiceman

Hello @chockies Thank you for the kind words. I do understand what you are saying.

I do think my problem is as well since losing the lifeline and the car. Now having to be and look to services to help me. Unfortunately not many of them come from planet politeness.

We live in this society where ever thing is a rush no one has the time and patience. Tolerance. Is not available and constant pressure of being to ask people I am having problems here.

Just for once listen to your customer and for once stop be more understanding. I mentioned to one taxi firm one time my own personal circumstances. He sort of became another person.

Why is that and did add also that he was abrasive towards me. This I have encountered before and he did ask me.

This one this morning rang up got me into knots but it not easy. I do think one other point. We think back to the days when I was young. Service with a smile. Not now.

One aspect of my life is that had a business. Very successful for ten years. Had money, wealth gone from riches to rags but when in business. Customer was king . Made sure you had respectability, kindness and be a person they could rely on.

Also yes my communication is not very good and having to realise this year middle fifties now. Add to that the difficulties of adjusting. Is becoming tedious.

Days become blurred and roll into one. Many times see Oh watch that programme stimulating and interesting. Give me some time to watch it.

Now can not stay awake and sleep by bedtime. One other time watch quizzes and such like next moment looking at the screen. Then suddenly wake up and it is gone eleven at night.

Have no recollection of any of it. Find myself in bed or sometimes come on here as I do but next morning find the messages of support or help. No idea wrote that or said that.

Get irked, stressed and annoyed some days at the little things why and how does it take so long.

Why should and do simple tasks .

Have and do like cooking my recipes have changed a lot of them because they take too long.

Do shortcuts and certain techniques. Means can get meal on the table in a time I can deal with.

Do you think I have cause for concern over my mental health ?.Is this a sign of getting older or a case of Blues?.

Into first week of January after the dreaded Christmas period and now this year stretches out in front of us .

Do you get like this or other members reading.? Like to know.

@thespiceman

Paddie

Hiya Spiceman, I'm sure what you are experiencing is exactly how others feel too.

My concentration is poor & a small task i.e. ringing for a taxi, going to the Drs' are small "things" to others BUT massive to us..... your not alone in your feelings, although you must feel that you are!

AND it's nothing to do with age...

It really is frustrating trying to gain access to help.... ongoing support is so very important as our "illness" is ongoing!

Is there any chance the GP could do a home visit....or get access to a CPN to visit?
Or even a local priest, you could google your local Church & look up the Parish Priest contact details i.e. Email address. Tell him everything & please God, he should be able to help you.

You need help in a lot of ways. Someone should be helping you!

Just think, every step you take, no matter how small it is, is an achievement.

Please take great care...
always in thought &
prayer.

Paddie

thespiceman

Hello @Paddie Thank you for support.

I am coming to terms with these things. I just wanted to share and do know have and found comfort being on here.

I am going tomorrow at the Doctors. One of the great issues all of us have is to get and find the help and support we need.

Having been moving constantly over a twenty year period just to get the main problems sorted.

Unfortunately is it a system being overloaded and pressurised. Budgets cut and underfunding. We have read the stories on here from our fellow community members.

Who share their stories. May I add please can I thank you for suggestions.

Have and been in touch quite a few times with local churches. One major organisation who should have known better.

My input and helping those like myself not interested in trying to be supportive.

Understand what you are saying and it is keeping an open mind and being honest with yourself.

I am a gentleman and find being polite and pleasant does have it advantages. I am always been like that. Find does help unfortunately others who are not like me see me as a walkover. A door mat.

Become argumentive and short with me for some reason.

I will hopefully get there but do know others are the same.

I think you could call it Grumpy Old Man syndrome.

Take care

Your friend

Always in prayers and thoughts.

@thespiceman

.

chockies

Good Evening @thespiceman thank you for replying.

It is good to hear from you ?.

How are you this evening?

It would be out of line for me to make comments about your mental health, talking to your GP is likely best. They can put you in touch with someone who can know more about your sitution and use their professional knowledge to help you best.

What I can do though, is be here and listen.

I remember about customer being king!

How times have changed, social attitude is very different now.

Maybe due to larger stores? Less customers responding to being treated well?

It would be nice to have the experience again, I’d like to think it still exists.. it takes those who know (aka you thespiceman) to keep carrying the flame so others can pick up the sparks ?.

Have you had a nice cup of tea for yourself today or something that you may enjoy? A favourite thing that you have access to perhaps?

Maybe you’re not able or out of tea bags, but I hope that you have been kind to yourself in some small way today.

We are all in this together!

Chockies.

Ps: I am a firm in the belief that people who treat you badly are simply conveying a message to you, the message that they do not belong in your airspace.

It is no no reflection of who you are.

XenasMum

Hi @thespiceman I really sympathise with your situation as I have felt the same myself. A tip given to me years ago has really helped.
Every day find 5 good things it doesn't matter what only if they are good for you. I used to think of getting out of bed, opening curtains even just smiling or seeing a bird or for me at the time getting my girls to school. Once I'd found them I could suddenly see other good things and the only opinion that counts is YOURS nobody else. I always find January hard I think it's because of a lack of light or daytime. One other thing at my local library they have a service where people with time on their hands (I think people with good hearts tbh) visit people who can't get out for whatever reason, could your library offer anything like this? I would imagine that you wouldn't have to go in but just call or check online? Also there are taxi services that can also be booked online a friend of mine comes to visit but he has severe epilepsy and is a bit unsteady on his feet and the taxi firm we use have him as a vulnerable customer so they will even walk him to his door.
I really hope some of this helps as you are so good offering advice here. I think you are a lovely man so.....
??

thespiceman

Hello @chockies Thank you for kind words and support.

Understand to day been a day of reflection and thinking the best way forward. Have been mood wise up and down. So trying to cope.

I think Mondays always a difficult day not only for me but others. We know that.

Tomorrow is another day as the saying goes. Sometime tomorrow will visit Doctors.

I have one main problem really with mental health is that it is always going to be there and how I as a person deal with the trauma.

We know those that suffer with the system is broken. The days of trying to find support as I said is now getting extremely hard to come by.

Having any time used the resources and support of my area. Only thinking and finding some avenues to try to explore.

I will take every ones comments on board. Will think about where and what to do.

Do a script tomorrow Doctors. To know what to say .

I do agree with you have and do try to relax.

Sorry to tell you this caffeine in tea and coffee. Makes my anxiety worse.

Found that out by suddenly drinking about ten cups of tea and coffee one day. Got stomach pains end up in hospital.

Same scenario with alcohol. As have discussed before clean from that but that is a struggle to maintain mentally.

No matter how many years it is.

So caffeine intolerant.

Understand thought relaxation techniques to relax and cope.

Have a favourite store of things I use. Another discussion maybe.

I agree with you the audacity, rudeness of people something seriously not right is there.

I have used my days here which helped to help others and always polite, kindness. After all this forum is the foundation stone I use to get through the day.

Thank you sharing and thank you for listening being a friend. Keep in touch

@thespiceman

thespiceman

Hello @XenasMum Pleased to meet you thank you kind words.

I have and do many things in the day. Understand and do somethings to brighten, uplift my day.

Thank you suggestions will think about other options.

Speaking to Doctors tomorrow.

One big issue are the lax and the inefficiently of mental health charities after leaving. The aftercare.

Something many others of this community have commented on.

Will speak to taxi firm tomorrow see what happens.

Thank you for listening and reading.

Lovely to have met you. If you need a friend am always here.

@thespiceman

chockies

Hey @thespiceman you are most welcome.

I really like your outlook that tomorrow is another day!

A fresh start, every day.

Oh no @thespiceman
increasing anxiety with tea is not what I would hope for you!

Let’s ditch that idea straight away.

Maybe something else comforting? The first thing on my mind was a nice warm drink... I thought of tea.

Caffeine tea sends me through the roof somehow, it is not good is it? It does not make anxiety worse but has a weird affect.

All it takes is one cup and I cannot sleep, my blood races, I get wired.

I had to throw a skin moisturiser out recently because it had the same effect on me, I looked at the ingredients and low and behold, caffeine was in it.

I imagine coffee is much worse? Never tried it but it smells nice.

The forum is really wonderful, it’s good that it is here and it is great to meet you here.

I hope that your doctor will give you some insight that may help.

Take very good care @thespiceman keep doing what you’re doing.

Chockies.

Paddie

@spiceman .... will be thinking of you later today.... fight your corner... it's your life, not theirs.
let me know how things go.
Paddie

thespiceman

Hello good morning @chockies Thank you for reply. Yes sorry if I am sort of scared you.

Been a good diet and avoid the nasties such as Chocolate, Caffeine, Alcohol and Smoking all effect anxiety.

Your user name being @chockies this is something I am afraid did find out. To my own cost and health.

Addictive the person I was in the early years of my life. Found the anxiety became worse. Thank god never smoked but did the rest.

By eliminating the sources became well. Think about certain store cupboard standbys all help anxiety.

Good diet such as plenty of leafy greens. I buy frozen Spinach and Kale.

Eggs, good sources of Meat . Pulses and Beans. Lentils. Fish like Trout or Salmon.

Nuts like Walnuts, Almonds. Wholegrains, Vitamin C. Fruit and good vegetables do help.

When going to bed take a milky drink laced with honey.

Tryptophan is an enzyme found in wholegrains, pulses and Dairy plus like also in Nuts. Reason why fall asleep with Pasta at lunch time, enzyme in Pasta.

All I would suggest as a member of this community be aware of what you are eating. Also as a friend.

With coffee and tea. It is addictive , because felt the need to have a drink. Replaced the alcohol with caffeine not realising the effects.

Ended up drinking ten cups plus a day. Shaking, tremors and stomach issues became ill so ended up in hospital. After one session at home had a lot of coffee and tea.

Like alcohol had to be weened off about 18 months. Because doing this too soon causing headaches. Nausea , tremors subsided but it is a warning.

My Italian friends used to tell me they drink coffee but in small cups. In the morning. Never at night.

Learnt this over a long period and am aware of every one is different.

Through the well being service often courses on educating yourself. Run by council community health. Open to every one.

Got various qualifications I have.

One final point it is one of the sad things in any ones life when you achieve something. At the most find your experience, qualification especially this.

Is not worth anything to be used because of certain issues and problems.

Only time I use this knowledge is in this forum. My recipes and anything health.

Now another sad aspect of my health as with so many members of the community. Got experience, knowledge but fast waning away not wanted.

By certain companies, organisations who would benefit from my knowledge so use it here instead.

That is so common now. Time of ageism and anything related. Do have lack of confidence being eroded by the employment system another aspect of my life. Should be employed but what gets to me. Is the harsh reality of being disabled.

All white companies had this a lot. Clueless and naïve.

Take care.

@thespiceman

thespiceman

Hello @Paddie Thank you for support, kind words.

I will probably speak to you later. Like to very much PM .

If you do not mind. Because wonder how you are and also because your a friend.

Not a self centred gent.

Take care.

@thespiceman

Paddie

Good luck, I'll be thinking of you.....
paddie

chockies

Hi @thespiceman hey it’s good to see you on the forum today.

You got it! Chocolates are not great in large quantities, and yes addictive though I guess that is the same with anything.

Addiction is a tough struggle, I really do salute you in all that you have done to come this far.

You have to have strength to live with addiction, that is hugely a valuable quality.

Nobody can change that, it is a fact.

It is not easy being around turmoil, the abuses, the dreadful parts of humanity.

It sounds like you have built a lot of knowledge about food, I will have to try out some of your delicious sounding recipes.

Kale is lovely, I wonder if you made kale chips? or maybe sometimes they are called kale crisps? By dressing the kale in olive oil sea salt + black pepper, and bake?

I heard it is packed with good vitamins?

So tasty!

Jobs changing a lot now, increasing artificial intelligence means less need for the roles.

I wonder if we will end up with a longer weekend as in Dubai?

I hope that you are having as reasonable day as possible, with no cups of caffeine tea.

Chockies.

thespiceman

Hello @chockies Good afternoon great to hear from you.

How are you doing? Cold chilly, fine day but trying to be positive . Also what helps is me being try to think like that.

I know not alone with my thoughts. Understand Monday and it sort of creeps up on your emotions, feelings.

Thanks for support and advice. Always appreciated.

Always happy to listen. I know do and think that is important. Sharing and caring.

Addiction being doing OK as I do . Have some bad days but cope. Have to say thank you for kind words.

Never easy life is it. Spend a lot of my time on here helping, supporting others which I enjoy immensely but do take my own advice. Listen to my self take a break.

You have to part of the role is that. Is a essential part. Have a break relax take some deep breaths.

What helps I say this . Is having a vinyl floor, laminate . Good sweep every other day.

Does not take long. Bit of exercise and with some upbeat music be a tidy up.

Yes my recipes all over coffee lounge have a look . Please adapt them to what ever you wish to.

Make them your own. Got one sarcastic quip from some member. No need that is. The team from SCOPE always lovely comments from them.

Trying to help and guide members to thinking how to make simple meals.

The food I prepare and do has to be simple, easy and quick to do. Plus helps to have these sorts of recipes on the table. In the mind. Have created a folder a long time ago.

Always creating or adapting food and recipes. Do generally have to. All helps.

Favourite story around that had a former friend rang me up one day. Bored of eating he quipped sick of eating the same thing.

Do what I do I breathed marvellous all easier to do and prepare. Lovely Pasta, grains and beans, pulses. Spices.

What do you eat?. Chicken and chips he uttered. What every night . Yes for about ten years. Well I had to laugh sorry but I had to. Normally would not but so would I .

Be bored of eating Chicken and chips. I had before that Fishfingers and beans he shouted down the phone for another five years. Felt like a kid so did Chicken and Chips.

Well unbelievable.

Like Kale did not know what else out there. Do the Italians Greens and Beans with Pork, Borlotti or Cannellini Beans. With Kale and Spinach . Could use Chard or any good Cabbage..

Chickpeas be OK. Use Rice with the Greens.

Employment so many changes . I think be the big one more people working from home not in a office.

All you need is a laptop and a phone.

Also be a lot different when BREXIT arrives.

Fears and insecurities for all. Had lost a lot of friends through employment moving abroad. Asia and Far East. Add to that beyond to Australia. Seeking new employment and experiences.

Speak a language the world loves you. Spanish or French plenty of places to go.

Hope you doing OK let you know what happens later.

Take care.

@thespiceman

chockies

Hi @thespiceman how did things go today?

Wishing you well ?.

I am ok thank you, I went to the dentist today. It was very cold outside but pleasant all the same.

Yes I do wonder how brexit will affect everything, business already struggling due to changes in how we all shop etc.

More work from home business definitely, rent for premesis now is far too high and small units or places not often available.

Glad to hear that you take time for self care as well as caring for others, got to be done.

Thats a funny story about chicken and chips, we all eat so differently!

Chockies.

thespiceman

Hello @chockies Pleased to meet you welcome.

Thank you for support and kind words.

How are you? Hope every thing is OK.

Went to the Doctors and well I think is important to share.

Just two things it is the time of year. Needed to talk. The Doctor I have is very understanding.

I think that is the one of the good reasons. I try maintain a my mental health is the support from the Surgery.

So there we are really being time of year good talk. Addressed the problems of coping and struggling.

Did add there is not much support and aftercare. Which the Doctor agrees.

Did also say this forum helps a lot. The community and the members . Friends I have made.

Thank you for being a friend.

Hope your day goes OK and keep warm .Cold here but have to struggle and strive.

Heating an expense now not an essential need. Heat or eat.

Another of my annoyances in life.

Take care.

@thespiceman

chockies

Good evening @thespiceman I hope that the day has been reasonable for you.

I am ok thank you although I have had an emotional day.

I will make a nice cup of nettle tea for myself shortly.

I might be super comforting and make a cocoa, no sugar though.

I have to make it with half cup whole milk and half cup water, because I found that excessive cow milk messes with my natural hormone balance.

I am glad to hear that you could get some clarity from your doctor, there cannot be much harm in visiting the doctor every once in a while.

I see it as an act of self care, even though it is not enjoyable to go.

You are very welcome about being a friend, thank you too for also being a friend.

Chockies.

thespiceman

Hello @chockies How are you today? Sorry to hear you had a emotional day.

How can I help be supportive.

Always here anytime.

Take care.

@thespiceman

chockies

Good afternoon @thespiceman I hope that you are doing well today?.

Thank you, I am ok.

It is usual for me to have an emotional day, the cocoa I made really helped ?.

Thank you for being here, your kind words have already helped to support me, in the same way as they have helped yourself and others.

I might often say that I have had an emotional day, though this is ok it is just one of those things at the moment.

I had to talk about some things yesterday and it set me off a bit.

Chockies.

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