I really need support

beckyboo84

Hi I need someone I can speak with

Ami2301

Hi @beckyboo84 welcome to the community!

How can we help?

steve51

Hi @beckyboo84

Good Afternoon & Welcome 🙏🙏

It’s great to meet you today!!!!!

I am one of the “Community Champion’s”

Yes I would be more than happy in helping you?????

@steve51

beckyboo84

I don't know what to say been suffering mental health and extreme anxiety for a long long time. I can't function in the day self care doesn't happen my mind is done. I 've been self medicating for a long time. I hurt dnt feel like I m hear frightened. Barley have somewhere live hat it it just swallow me up. Away from anything I know. Nothing warm caring fluff feeling. Totally alone always afraid of all people and ones too d here in bad area. Nothing look forward to. My mind body won't last much more be dead.

Ami2301

I am sorry to hear you are feeling like this.

Have you tried speaking to the Samaritans? You can phone them, free on 116 123 or if you don't want to speak over the phone you can email [email protected]

Have you been feeling like this for quite some time?

steve51

Hi @beckyboo84

“Wow let’s talk”

Where shall we start!!!

Please please come back to me ???????

Don’t worry we are all here for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@steve51

beckyboo84

Couple years I spoke a lot with Samaritans. They can't say much.  I need help with housing. The stress I feel constantly drink bad awful. I feel not here high but then mood will crash I will wanna die

Ami2301

@beckyboo84 it can be overwhelming when dealing with a variety of things at once, let's break it down and focus on one thing at a time. Is it your housing situation that is having an effect on your mental health?

I promise you, we will advise you with all the information we know, we will help you get your life back on track

steve51

Hi @beckyboo84

Can you please let me know what help you need with your housing?????

Please please talk to us that’s what we are all here for!!!!!!!!

@steve51

beckyboo84

Can't bare where I am the building atmosphere can't bare it it is so low. I need to know where I can get someone to go with me to try change it as phobic going out or contacting anyone. I miss mum home frightened all time if auntie ring at night n just the feel atmosphere of her make me feel gross want to die. Miss mum home so bad it not health always in my head unhealthy obsession constantly split between tho king go home way or here not wanting to end up lower in eclven more grotty ready life

steve51

Hi @beckyboo84

Sorry but don’t you have any friends or family to can step in & help you?????

@steve51

cupidpsyche

beckyboo84 said:

Hi I need someone I can speak with

What help do you need beck?

beckyboo84

They won't push me away judge I disgust them they dnt want be bothered I drink bad my nerves system withdrawals bad all the time so make them feel uncomfortable and they ashamed. Of me around their friends and their friends make it clear their uncomfortable. Mum want help me get a better life and all the small things ya need . Mum even put off cos I m not tidy. Can I come on hear any time. At the end there no more chat on here I can go all turn me away and I can't take it

beckyboo84

Need love warmth direction a good home security stop the isolation darkness aggression of the place stop lonliness. Feels that my mum gets a kick out of this something to talk about

beckyboo84

Need of food. I been told my needs are impossible. I 'll end up breakdown my life will be gone

Ami2301

@beckyboo84 the moment you joined our community, is the moment you are equally valued like every single member. We will not judge you, we will not push you away. 

The community is at its height of activity during the days however, can be seldom overnight.

Rest assured your posts will not be ignored. One of us may not know the answer but another member might.

You're safe with us x

beckyboo84

Thank you. How you not be scared of life people every situation so yo avoid and it bad. Nervous system so bad self medicating it like I m robotic. Like head been hit and insides are shaken

beckyboo84

Your first network I spoke where they said we got hold of you. Not gonna let go

Ami2301

When was the last time you saw your GP?

beckyboo84

So low with drinking it killing me tried places to go for it but that is more upsetting stress provoking if I gone to a meeting I have flash backs in day. It doesn't look so bad if you a man like it. I m dirty scruffy look very down trodden

Ami2301

I can only  imagine how difficult this is for you. I suffer badly with flashbacks too. In the past few months I have learnt that exposure to my fears, to things that cause me stress can help me in ways I thought it couldn't. It's an ongoing process of learning how to cope or deal with a situation.

beckyboo84

Thank you so can you help me with tools to cope never had anyone say they suffer I need someone like you. Ya know you look terrible people notice. So avoid. Bit then life just empty dnt know where it going. Frightening. Can even organise basic things on my brain to do in day. It's frightening. Can there be someone who can really help me through al the things I've said tools strategies. Cos I a m going to loose my life. I tried all avenues n nothing. Help with anxiety thoughts causes the anxiety I actually hurt from it. If tried places all they do is go mmm ye oh I see are not forthcoming put themselves forward. Never had anyone say feel the same it means so much

beckyboo84

Are there people here that have experienced what happening with me and would be really kind put their selves forward to really help

beckyboo84

Housing bad council,need some real help if in not good conditions health suffers mental health the misery it causes repression jus will loose my life.

cupidpsyche

Beckyboo84, don’t worry, don’t stress, there solution for everything. Do you need finincial support?

beckyboo84

Ye n change housing. I b worried feel like I should go wen t a aa meeting last Monday evening n I feel pressure go again when it really got me down gave flashbacks. Couldn't  cope wi the feelings. Thank you so your giving me hope I do need financial support. But knowing where...

beckyboo84

Need of human support care carer. Love

beckyboo84

Someone come round help physically and mentally take me places find hard walk going places causes so much anxiety mind swims. Thank you give me hope 

beckyboo84

Hope yous can help me make littlest decision in the day lost capacity 

cupidpsyche

Beckyboo84,i can support you in coming days. Keep on touch. Don’t worry, be happy. We all are here to support eachother. Let me give few months to sort out things. And I can manage time to help, going out and doing things.

Ami2301

Sorry @beckyboo84 my sleeping tablet kicked in.

I am still learning how to deal with my flashbacks. My flashbacks are due to spending a month in critical care, I was not in a good way. I'm very lucky to be alive. The littlest things can trigger them as it's still very raw. I am hoping to see a psychologist soon.

Lately, I too have felt that I do not know where my life is going. I need to focus on the here and now, to do what makes me happy. You deserve happiness Becky, just as much as the next person. 

It is overwhelming when we think of everything at once, have you tried writing these down and taking them one step at a time?

There is help out there, there is one best suited for you, we just need to help you find it.

Do you have PTSD? Many members of our community do struggle with similar difficulties you are facing. They will be more than happy to share their experiences with you.

There are services and charities that can help you. Are you currently receiving any benefits?

Antonia_Scope

Hi @beckyboo84

A warm welcome to the community, thank you for opening up to us.

MIND have a lot of information and support that you may find useful.

How are you feeling today?

beckyboo84

Th
hank you ami. Please help me find what right help for me. Have no one apart from the auntie who is rude antagonizing. But starting to tell me she be ignoring me and a mum who just leaves me to it. Uses the distance
from eachother as an excuse. I went once to a aa meeting b one tomorrow but the thought of it ruining my mind ruin my day will bring back crushing emotions. I met a friendly lady there but if I dnt go she won't want to know but I dnt weather I can trust her she very new to me. Dnt know what to do what should?

beckyboo84

I m not going to want to live

beckyboo84

Cupidpyche. Do you mean you can be there for me over the next days.

cupidpsyche

Hi beckboo84, I will be very soon. I’m sorting my things first. And how you doing? Come online and chat with the people and share your feelings then people around helps you!

beckyboo84

Thank you. I went to a aa meeting a couple weeks ago it tore me up and had very bad feelings next day. Met a friendly lady but dnt know if to trust her unnerving. There b another midday tomorrow it all that in my head extreme panic it all that in my head what should I do?. I dnt know how to cope make decisions

cupidpsyche

It’s hard to trust people . Becky I tell you when can do something, and when I am ready. Don’t worry take care yourself!

cupidpsyche

If I can support financially, hopefully I will do that end of February. Don’t try do stress out and give up life, there is always alternative ways. We people needto help eachother

beckyboo84

We do

cupidpsyche

Where do you live? Which area becky? 

beckyboo84

Especially  when the types people that go to aa meetings. And when you can't trust yo mum n godmum

beckyboo84

I m England are you. East Midlands at mo hate it awful dragging my soul out

cupidpsyche

I’m in England, Watford 

beckyboo84

Must be better for you 

beckyboo84

Not from where I am now . From east coast and it killing me been not there

cupidpsyche

East Midlands, I have never been there

cupidpsyche

3 hours travel from train to be there from watford

beckyboo84

Ye seems a long way

cupidpsyche

Ya it is

cupidpsyche

Becky what about your family members ?dont  they support you? 

beckyboo84

No dnt

beckyboo84

N I just get treated bad get messages from  woman I've known been rude condescending bout my drinking just had one late at night saying about an alpha course but only will go with if haven't had 'A drink ' the put downs too much crying and I have suicidal ideation

cupidpsyche

How is your condition? Can you travell?

beckyboo84

They seem to do it late at night is that right?

beckyboo84

Awful

cupidpsyche

Very bad!

beckyboo84

Will you b around in morning keeping me alive going

beckyboo84

Are you male or female. Panic travel

cupidpsyche

Yes we can have chat as long as you want nowt it’s morning 

beckyboo84

How you mean want nowt?

beckyboo84

Will you speak first so I know someone there

cupidpsyche

Im male and you ? You may be female

beckyboo84

Oh thought you b male

cupidpsyche

Yes I right 

beckyboo84

Do u know anything of alpha Christian course

cupidpsyche

I have no ideas about that beck
what that’s course about ?

beckyboo84

Introducing Christianity teachings

cupidpsyche

This should be about religious faith, may be very good

beckyboo84

I need someone to speak early morns. 

beckyboo84

No esteem or confidence 

beckyboo84

No esteem or confidence

cupidpsyche

Why do you need someone to speak in the morning, what about beck?

beckyboo84

The misery of on own . Dnt know what to in day. I suppose I must try to close my eyes now

cupidpsyche

beck chat about your feeling and express what you have going on then I will help you to exist. You can share with me anything you want. Don’t worry we always with you 

beckyboo84

N the flashbacks in morns. I try close my eyes

cupidpsyche

How long will you be awake beck? Be good, be positive and think positive, will be fine 

beckyboo84

Yo right wi what you say. Kind. Morns I need that

beckyboo84

Kind  words take nothing 

cupidpsyche

Positive thinking changes life in to peace!

beckyboo84

Thank you. If you can't sleep to feel better what could you do to try sleep

beckyboo84

I try close my eyes now

beckyboo84

How to organise things and things in my mind decisions how to have a backbone? I am going to close my eyes now

cupidpsyche

Night beck, have a good sleep!

beckyboo84

You too

cupidpsyche

Ya I will be after 2 hours 

Ami2301

Sorry @beckyboo84 I was asleep.

I have a very good friend on the community, @thespiceman and I'm sure he will not mind me sharing this.

Years ago, he too had a alcohol addiction. He has now been free for many years. He is a Christian and the words of the Bible really comfort him and motivate him. He is an amazing man and a wonderful friend.

He is on here everyday, currently he is unwell so taking time to recuperate but he will be back in a few days.

I am glad you have had the support from @cupidpsyche overnight. I am busy this morning but I will be back this afternoon if you would like to chat.

You can do this Becky, we believe in you x

beckyboo84

Thank you did he do a step problem or anything

cupidpsyche

Goodmorning Becky! How you feeling today?

Pippa_Scope

Hi @beckyboo84, I hope you're having a good day today and I'm glad to see you've had the chance to talk with other community members. You can talk to us any time by posting on the community or by calling our helpline on 0808 800 3333 (free).

However, I would encourage anybody reading this to be careful with sharing your personal details with anybody who you have only met over an internet forum. No matter how good their intentions may be, our most important concern is your safety. 

Have you talked to your GP about your situation and how things are tough at the moment?

You are a member of our community and we appreciate you. If you are having thoughts of suicide, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help. Please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at [email protected]. You might also benefit from reading MIND’s information on how you can help yourself.

If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.

beckyboo84

I have spoken t samaratians a a lot. I felt the thoughts of not been here yourselves are much help

beckyboo84

Ami others are good thoughts of care insight  I've not had

Ami2301

Hey @beckyboo84 I have read your post on my wall, I will explain how I cope shortly as now about to have lunch.

beckyboo84

And what works for the gent mentioned 

thespiceman

Hello @beckyboo84 Pleased to meet you welcome.   Thanks to @Ami2301 for mentioning me.

Sorry I was not around. Apologise still recovering from a cold.

Understand that you have issues with addiction...  First thing I need you think about is talking to your GP.  Because this is not easy to say but you do and will need professional help to stop.

I am acutely aware of how hard is this. to cope and also hard it is to stop.

The big problem is finding safe and practical solutions to cease your addiction.  I do not know how much you drink.  It is my concern that if you stop suddenly become ill.

You must understand also alcoholism is a disease.

The underlying factors that drive you to drink make you want that drink. All of them are mental.

When we get anxious or nervous we reach for a drink. Trust me been there to calm me down and helps to relax.  Then you start drinking even more.

My story briefly is been an alcoholic for thirty years and some drugs.  Add to that had alcoholic amnesia.  Which means drink to oblivion and can not recall anything.

Only safe way is to go through rehab  that you will be weened off slowly. Took me eighteen month.

Been clean for twelve years  and every day still a struggle  I am one of many.  Come on here as a community champion to advise community members like yourself.

Found GOD which helps a lot.

One final point that you are in touch with AA. 

Please contact me anytime you like.  Here to give you reassurance. Be supportive.

Take care.

@thespiceman

beckyboo84

Tried with Dr t good or diagnosed. Not rehab. I tried as talk of bad things t rely on that b another addiction not normal happy activities.found God bout only if it not heavy judgemental. Assuming. I need direction  training work family a home life finances 

beckyboo84

Your love care unmeasurable

Ami2301

Glad @thespiceman has got in touch with you.

My flashbacks are due to the time I spent in Dritical Care, last March.

I was in a coma for 4 days, I was heavily sedated, I had a couple of small seizures, I almost died.

The one thing that has eased my flashbacks is exposure. For example, I am up to my eyeballs with hospital appointments so I face all the smells, sights, etc on a weekly basis.

Any little thing can trigger my flashbacks, it's not just me who has them but also my mum and my fiance as they saw things that completely devastated them.

We openly talk about them, support each other.

I have my intensive care review next Wednesday which I am nervous about as this is the hospital where majority of my flashbacks stem from. I had my first review back in September, this was a different hospital but it was still scary.

My method may not work for you but we can help you find support available to you.

thespiceman

Hello @beckyboo84 Thanks for replying to me. Thank you kind words.

This is about you right now not me. I have to say to you. This is your life another thing you have to first of all admit you have a problem.

Reading the previous posts you have a problem.

Hurts like hell first time called a slang word by a friend for an alcoholic.  Then my Doctor called me an alcoholic.  In consultations.

Yes your going to AA but that does work if you want this you need to go to rehab.

Please can I add rehab is basically a clinic.  You became an outpatient with a counsellor.  Week to week consultations and they wean your dependency with alcohol off.

Have support services plus floating support. Groups and meetings.

Understand it is scary frightening.

I do understand if you want all your issues and problems to go away then you need to do this.

Sleep deprivation and all the issues around work, finance and family all alcoholism related.  Plus may I say the mental health problems you are having.

Please can I add another alcoholic can not usually another alcoholic want and why to stop. That is your choice..

One final point please look in the council services directory if you having some problems with your Doctor accessing help.

Speak to your Doctor .  You can self refer.

Go down usually under clinics make an appointment or speak to AA for advice.   You do not have to speak to your GP.

National Helpline 0800 9177 650.

Wish you all the success. Remember it is up to you. Small steps.

Always here anytime. Celebration twelve years clean this year in a few months time.

Take care.

@thespiceman

beckyboo84

Thank you can't cope going anywhere  alone my whole body just gone no moments slow I m not going make much longer. Need someone tomorrow barley can press these keys. I nthespiceman said:

Hello @beckyboo84 Thanks for replying to me. Thank you kind words.

This is about you right now not me. I have to say to you. This is your life another thing you have to first of all admit you have a problem.

Reading the previous posts you have a problem.

Hurts like hell first time called a slang word by a friend for an alcoholic.  Then my Doctor called me an alcoholic.  In consultations.

Yes your going to AA but that does work if you want this you need to go to rehab.

Please can I add rehab is basically a clinic.  You became an outpatient with a counsellor.  Week to week consultations and they wean your dependency with alcohol off.

Have support services plus floating support. Groups and meetings.

Understand it is scary frightening.

I do understand if you want all your issues and problems to go away then you need to do this.

Sleep deprivation and all the issues around work, finance and family all alcoholism related.  Plus may I say the mental health problems you are having.

Please can I add another alcoholic can not usually another alcoholic want and why to stop. That is your choice..

One final point please look in the council services directory if you having some problems with your Doctor accessing help.

Speak to your Doctor .  You can self refer.

Go down usually under clinics make an appointment or speak to AA for advice.   You do not have to speak to your GP.

National Helpline 0800 9177 650.

Wish you all the success. Remember it is up to you. Small steps.

Always here anytime. Celebration twelve years clean this year in a few months time.

Take care.

@thespiceman

beckyboo84

Need loved ones can never have