Hi, I'm Mick, Ask me questions about mental health today
MickConnon
Member Posts: 56 Courageous
I am 49 years old and live in Coningsby, Lincolnshire. I am husband to Dawn and Dad to Daniel, Shaun and Ryan, also grandfather to Lizzie and Harley and have 2 dogs Kai and Nero. I was brought up in Aberdeenshire and joined the Royal Air Force and served for 15 years. I met Dawn towards the end of my RAF service. I started working in IT for a local company but after they were taken over, I returned full circle to train as a Nurse which I finished in 2008. Since then, I have worked in Community Rehabilitation, Crisis Resolution and Home Treatment, Older Adults Mental Health, Acquired Brain Injuries Rehab, and lastly Adults with Learning Disabilities for Priory Group. I have been a trainer and SME for Priory since 2013 in Mental Capacity Act and DOLs and Safer People Handling. I am also an Advanced First Aid Instructor, and also teach First Aid for Mental for my own company Lincolnshire Healthcare Training.
I have been carer for my wife who had a full Liver Transplant in October 2017 and since then she has experienced Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Before and after this life changing surgery, she has gone through DLA and PIP assessments and I have made it my business to learn all about the medical and psychological symptoms that people can go through after an Organ Transplant. As such, I am fully up to speed with Mental Health conditions and Learning Disabilities and can offer support and answer any questions about this. I have also experienced Mental Health problems in the past and can empathise and pass on knowledge to others to help them. I suffer from Diverticulitis and can offer support with this to others too. I have a vast array of knowledge in a lot of associated medical equipment like PEGs, RIGs,Feed pumps and Catheters.
Replies
Scope community team
Great to have you here!
Specialist Information Officer - Cerebral Palsy
Want to tell us about your experience on the community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know.
Senior online community officer
Scope community team
Scope
Your feedback is really important to the development of the online community, so please remember to complete our online community annual survey.
Hello @MickConnon Pleased to meet you . Thanks for being part of the team.
Look forward to working with you.
I am one of the community champions. Of the forum.
Have mental issues my self and try to do my best to support every one who needs the help and support.
Using my own knowledge and expertise as I can do.
Good to know your here.
Take care.
@thespiceman
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
If you have a look at the document produced by Rethink as I advise people have a good look at this as it puts everything into perspective on side effects and is a worthwhile read. I could tell you all about it but this post would be very lengthy😁. https//www.rethink/resources/a/antipsychotics-factsheet
Can I just check the other medication you have tried? Am I right in thinking they are Haliperidol, Mirtazepine and Clozapine.
I am here to support you as I have the experience and knowledge to do this. But, I do think that you need to have a read of the above document so it shows you have done your homework and then after this discuss the options you have with your CPN. That would show to me as an ex CPN that you want to have a say in your own treatment which is what Person Centred Care is all about. This should not hold any other treatments back as if they did it would be completely unfair and unjust if they did. Keep me posted on your progress. Thanks
IBS itself is something that is very misunderstood and people seem to miss the close connections between physical and mental health and how each can impinge on each other.
My understanding is that IBS can be managed but can flare up through stress, and eating trigger foods. Am not saying you do any of these consciously as you have lived with this for 30 years and am sure you know which group of foods can flare this up. Added to this the Psychogenic Vomiting complicates this. I know that Buscopan can help with this. But Care should be sought in carefully choosing medication which is where our GPs come in.
There was a trial done a few years ago looking at Psychogenic vomiting, and using a particular medication called Escitalopram. I am happy sharing this trial if it helps you but it would need discussing via your GP who I assume prescribes your monthlies for any changes to be made.
It would also be interesting to hear how you have managed this long. 30 years is a long time and am sure in this time you have tried a variety of various medications which may or may not benefit you. Just because it worked for someone else, no guarantees it would work for you? Im sure you recognise this. Am not being pessimistic here, far from it. Please count me in - in your corner as am happy doing that. Keep in touch and keep the faith 😁
Am here to help support those who need this and have a lot of experience to share for those who will listen. Mental Health problems are not something that people should be ashamed of, they can happen for a lot of reasons and nearly all of which are outwith our control. Looking forward to working alongside you and you know where I am if you need me. Those I look after tell me I have a good listening ear and can come up with solutions that can help. A pleasure knowing you 😁
Good Afternoon & Welcome!!!!!!
I am also one of the Community Champions here at Scope.
Please Please let me know if you need any support/help?????
”Steve51
Good Afternoon!!!!
I do hope that everything goes okay for you.
Please please let me let me know if there’s anything that I can “help/support” you with “before & afterwards”
@steve51
Sorry if this is not what I'm supposed to write here , I was just wondering I keep having these feelings mainly at night when I want to sleep like my body isn't attached it's so hard to explain but I have dizziness with it and weird sensations through my body its absolutely awful I wonder if I'm going to die or something ... I've been told it's panic attacks of my therapist and Dr but I have regular panic attacks that most times just happen for no apparent reason these feel different , it's scary and affecting my ability to go to sleep properly I'm sorry I feel bad for talking about myself when so many are going through worse things I'm just scared I don't know what to do
Hello @Gemmacresswell Pleased to meet you. Hope I can help and advise.
Please in response to your question about support workers. To help with your benefit situation.
I used mental health charities. Used this one last time.
https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk. They will not only look at your mental health but benefit situation as well.
Do take clientele with additional disabilities and problems.
Something to consider. Offer floating support or an outreach worker.
This is something I had. Looking at the whole mental health problems and issues plus my benefit situation . I was experiencing.
You can self refer or contact your Doctor.
Wish you all the best.
Take care.
@thespiceman
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
But as you mention, there is no 'treatment' for facts of the past.
There are after=effects, but you are the one who will recognise yourself in the words of some posts in Pandy's. It is transforming. Not being alone is revealing and comforting, and relieves the isolation of not being comprehended, believed, or accepted.
Suddenly it makes sense, that many dislike being in the power of others, which makes it hard for them to deal easily with officials, or to be trapped in a room, or similar regular life-threatening experiences which may have been continued throughout their 'formative years';. They may be using hard-learned practice of effort to conceal their fear, and trying to obey whatever the official demands, but the very fact they are doing so is itself a re-enactment of exactly the situation they quite reasonably and understandably dread most.
Some of the Pandora's Aquarium members have been made worse by being in the power of counsellors and therapists. Some have wasted their precious energies in decades of 'treatment' which has made their lives worse, not least because the tacit agreement they are faulty and need to be corrected must automatically mean they have their own strength and resourcefulness and independence is undermined, not reinforced . Many find they are bully magnets, due to low belief in their equal human worth. They have no sense of entitlement, even to exist.
On the plus side, their resilience and strength and self sufficiency were highly developed, to survive at all, and so is their empathy. If they set their minds to it, they will help fix things for others, and if they convince themselves they are equal human beings, they could move mountains for their own benefit.
They tend to be isolated, because their life experience is too different from that of others, so they can't fully communicate or fully belong. Their experience is that those who might have cared for them were the ones who harmed, those who might have helped were the ones who colluded, rejected, and (as Mia Farrow's daughter said) " first ignored, then disbelieved and finally demonised" the victim.
Only a minority have florid responses, such as self harm or addiction. Most will be above average on self discipline, after learning to control themselves so much so young. They tend to be workaholics because they have the will power to drive themselves hard.
If, as children, they never saw healthy relationships and family, then they will have no knowledge or experience to assist them in being exact clones of their more fortunate friends, neighbours and colleagues.
If they seem to avoid some situations others enjoy, such as loud noise, or crowds, violence as entertainment, or whatever is triggering, then they know better than to try to explain (frequently leading to disgust, disbelief, rejection), but other people do sense they are withholding (frequently leading to accusations of secrecy, and again to rejection). But being reluctant to have one's head under water, for instance, is not surprising if that was part of the tactics of some of one's childhood rapists. It is not a proof of madness merely to prefer not to swim underwater.
An analogy is someone who has his pocket picked at a cash-point. He is not suffering some inherent mental fault which needs 'curing'. He needs the police, not a 'crazy person' label. He has been the witness to, and victim of, crime.
In some extreme cases, a child, and the adult that the child becomes, , may have endured situations which are beyond the definition of 'abuse'. A few are outright tortured by people who have total power over them, with no escape, and real risk of death. It is Non-State-Torture. An N.S.T. Survivor is not mentally flawed. The people with deranged minds were his attackers, not him.
Nor is he in the same group as someone whose otherwise secure life took a surprise one day when they 'experienced, saw, or heard about', something distressing, which they found so shocking that they develop P.T.S.D .
For a long term child abuse survivor, or, more so, for an N.S.T.Survivor, it will be alienating to deal with the language, or the world, of someone who (like Aunt Ada Doom in Cold Comfort Farm) 'once saw something nasty in the woodshed' and took permanently to her bed thereafter.
(Similarly, for a woman who is so unassertive and easily bullied that her husband routinely for years has beaten, strangled, kicked, violently raped, bullied, coerced, threatened and nearly killed her, it will be alienating to deal with the assumptions of other women who seem to live in a different world, such as one who is deeply affronted because their partner spoke sharply, or another whose partner admitted once continuing lovemaking for a few minutes after she fell asleep, which would now technically be marital rape.
The woman who has, since infancy, known degrees cruelty, hatred and attack, from anyone who had both the opportunity and the inclination, will be astounded at the apparent basis of The Forsyte Saga, i.e., that the whole of society will revile the character named Soames because of The Terrible Thing That Happened To Poor Irene.
Poor Irene was his wife. The books are far too long for most people to plough through, but, apparently, The Terrible Thing was, that after being married for some months or years, and still never having been invited to her bedroom, Soames had taken the initiative to claim his legal entitlement to Conjugal Rights. If that really was the central obsession of the Saga, it makes no sense to anyone who knows the law, let alone anyone who knows the horrible side of humans. At the time, and continuing till near the end of the 20th century, the law stated a man had Conjugal Rights to go to bed with his wife, and she had a legal duty to agree to his demands. In theory, a husband could have taken his wife to court, to get a judge to order her to submit , under peril of being imprisoned for contempt of court if she defied)
Hello @Singing Pleased to meet you.
Please if you do not mind like to add some guidance, advice . On your current situation.
The difficulties and problems, issues you describe. Thank you for sharing with the community.
Your situation with your mental health reminds me of mine at this present time. Having been through various charities, services now know doing OK.
Have like all of us with mental health blips and down days.
Understand what is important is how you manage and cope. With your mental health wellbeing.
When I left the last charity. This what I think is important here finding what you want or need to progress.
Move on the journey, the recovery as many charities or council services call it. There are ways to guide you through the complexities and often confusion.
See what is available on line. Have a note pad make some notes, some plans. Be clear what you require.
Small steps , goals some aims. You wish to seek employment for example. Would that be a big step and what would you require in the form of support.
I would look at this charity I used last time. I know mention that a lot. In posts about mental health. Just because had what you are going through.
Had council services or used a number of charities but felt once got some where. Two steps forward two back again.
Situation with my benefits. Same as you regarding future prospects. Looking at employment but again had problems, issues.
Website https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk.
Please give them a try. Have floating support, outreach workers. Guidance on wellbeing, advice. Do have some areas employment advisors and support can sign post you.
Wish you well
Take care.
@thespiceman
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
Hello @newborn Thank you for comments. Pleasure to talk to you again.
I apologise confused here about your two posts.
You mentioned first one about a good link. Depends if your a square peg.
Second one need membership . Were you talking about this charity?
You do not need be either just to clarify.
Please can I inform you this is a charity. I first got involved with as a clientele. Because there are organisations, council services.
Have a policy that you ask for help and support with your mental health. Then find yourself back out on the street.
Getting no where. Many services are so stretched and over burden, underfunded.
I used them. They helped me and guided, advised me with my mental health . Looking at wellbeing, the ongoing benefit situation.
May I also add they can offer floating support, out reach workers. Some areas I believe they might not cover.
I am not sure they do Scotland.
Yet they can signpost you to anything relevant.
The organisation is big. Went to conference in Birmingham a few years a go. Met many people like my self.
Pleasant weekend lots of lectures and knowledge, education.
Help with addiction and have such advisors. There policy is to make sure very one has good mental health..
Can advise on employment and additional support regarding that .
Have a recovery policy. Using coping methods and strategies . Which I use my self.
As there has been so much regarding mental health. On the media. This morning.
I do think every one deserves good mental health and getting the right knowledge, education to move on.
Hope that helps you or any body else.
Sometimes as I have been with my issues a long time. If the doors are closing , have problems.
Then you need to evaluate what do I do next.
Meet so many people. Especially members of our community.
Who have walked a mile in my shoes. Trying to help be a friend.
Take care.
@thespiceman
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
The sad thing about services all over the UK is that money has been pulled from these effectively closing them down. I know from the area I’m in that the PD support services have gone not to be replaced by anything. This doesn’t help😔
Going back to what you said about being physically disabled. Our physical health works in partnership with our Mental Health and these do deteriorate if one is out of balance. However, I appreciate the fact you are trying your very best to keep these aligned but I also see you are worried about the future as the uncertainty of what will be available to you support wise. This will not be helping. I am talking to others “in the know” to see what will be there. I will keep you posted about what I discover.
I also agree with you on the fact that the Pathway they created is not helpful at all. Sometimes I do wonder why these are created as they do not take everyone’s needs into consideration and do marginalise those who need the support most. @thespiceman put this rather well that services have been cut and those staff left are having so much thrust upon them. I know all about this as I was one who had to go to protect my own Mental Health.
I hear you very well about IAPT as they are good for low to medium level CBT based therapies and are not really geared up to deal with BPD or C-PTSD? There are a lot of places where the 2 of these conditions meet and i can see where you are now questioning the original diagnosis 8 years ago.
At the end of the day,I am here to support everyone as a unique individual as that’s what we are. No-one can be pigeonholed by diagnosis, nor disability, be it physical or psychological. We all have so much to give and I feel that yours is yet to come but please keep fighting for what you believe in as reading between the lines, you fought for the service to be kept open.
We are here as a support group, not only me but my fellow advisors. We are human beings but those who choose to help others. 😁
Scope community team
I have separated any posts after this point from this particular thread.
If you have any questions for @MickConnon, please make your own post within the category, so it can receive the attention it deserves.
Many thanks,
Adrian
Scope Community
Scope
Your feedback is really important to the development of the online community, so please remember to complete our online community annual survey.