Hi, I'm Mick, Ask me questions about mental health today

hope25

Also can I just ask as it's been playing on mym since it's happened , I had a cpn a while back who told me I had bpd it was also on my notes on system I had never had this discussed to me but when I've been back as I was having some difficulty with my conditions the psychiatrist(first time I'd ever seen her ) told me I don't have bpd and she doesn't know where it came from my cpn who's retired apparently should not have told me this ... Although I'm glad not to have another diagnosis I'm completely confused as to why this had happened and something that I thought I had for years I haven't ... I have letters from mental health showing my diagnosis and it is on them , can this happen ? 

Gemmacreswell

Hi Mick thank you how can I go about getting a support workers to help me with benefits for example as I hear alot of people using this and was wondering many thanks 

thespiceman

Hello @Gemmacresswell   Pleased to meet you. Hope I can help and advise.

Please in response to your question about  support workers.  To help with your benefit situation.

I used mental health charities.  Used this one last time.

https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk.  They will not only look at your mental health but benefit situation as well.

Do take clientele with additional disabilities and problems.

Something to consider.  Offer floating support or an outreach worker.

This is something I had.  Looking at the whole mental health problems and issues plus my benefit situation . I was experiencing.

You can self refer or contact your Doctor.

Wish you all the best.

Take care.

@thespiceman

Gemmacreswell

Thank you @thespiceman ibwill look into it ?

Singing

Hi Mick -  don’t worry if you haven’t got an answer because this is a difficult question but I am wondering do you have any ideas or know of any resources for people who struggle with mental health who are not being supported and getting the help that they need? I know it’s such a big question. But recently I have been losing my benefits and now my mental health is being really adversely affected but the truth is that that financial support was what was helping me get back on my feet and feel more confident and take steps towards going back to work and getting my degree and starting a business. I can’t go back to the mental health team, because they in all fairness where never really any help to me. They’ve made me feel stigmatised and like I was the bottom of the rung. When actually I am just a sensitive person who has been through a lot. I also have spiritual values of my own that they describe as part of my illness. So I also feel invalidated in that other aspects of myself which actually is really helpful and an important part of my life. So all in all they really weren’t that helpful at all and I don’t mean to be rude but I have known a lot of them for over a decade now and we have never got anywhere together.So when I go to see them I end up leaving feeling frustrated because they have none of the answers that I actually am seeking. I.e. how can I get myself better and off the ground when the government is against me and trying to make me worse I would just like some help or advice thanks  and to be honest I am looking for help and advice as to who I can get to help support me because the mental health team does not do that in reality. They do not like change and they want me to find myself rather than as somebody who is trying to make progress and do the things that I have recently outlined. The trouble is that the government is against me because when I have Finally or simply got to a small part or space where I feel as though I am actually getting somewhere, then they immediately cut me off and then I am back to square one but even worse because I am so frustrated because I’ve got so close that time to actually feeling better about myself.

Waylay

@Singing I hear that!

Waylay

Hi @MickConnon , I have complex MH problems, dating back 30 years, which got much worse when I became physically disabled. I was diagnosed (rightly or wrongly) with Borderline PD 8 years ago, but have only had 10 hours of therapy and access to 10 hours a week of gardening, art therapy, and some crisis support at a drop-in. Our Trust redeveloped the PD Service and decided to cut our drop-in in favour of their shiny new Pathway. It was done very badly, and we fought it; eventually we got a 5 year extension of the drop-in. None of us has had much help since, however. The drop-in ends this autumn, and although it hasn't been great, it was something, a place to go, support from other patients, etc. We're just being sent back to our GPs with nothing. We're not eligible for the new Pathway, but IAPT won't see people w/ a BPD diagnosis (ooooh, scary BPD chicks!).

I've found support through a pain psychologist (6 months several years ago), a charity therapy group (4 years ending 2.5 years ago), and my counsellor, who sees me for very little money. The pain psych, group facilitator and counsellor think I have C-PTSD (instead of or in addition to BPD). I've undergone a long series of traumas, including neglect and abuse as a child. I suspect that my longterm depression, anxiety, and other symptoms have been C-PTSD all along, or at least related to it. My counsellor has some trauma training through Rape Crisis, and has been amazing, but we've been working on this stuff for 2 years now, and while there is progress, it's slow. I've not worked for 8 of the past 11 years. I', in my mid-40s. I have no savings, no retirement fund, and sitting around is making me worse. In addition, the benefits system has been hell, and I honestly don't think I'll make it through another review.

My mental health means that I'm neglecting my physical disability treatments. There's also a good chance that my physical problems might lessen if my MH improved. I want more out of life! I want a life! My Trust is very poor. There's no treatment for C-PTSD, and only a small PTSD programme for veterans. I can't afford private treatment (did I mention benefits?) I know that there are treatment centers available on the NHS (the Maudsley Hospital, Khiron House), but I can't figure out how to get any help to get there.

Any ideas? I feel like I've been consigned to the scrap heap when I have so much more to give... Help?

newborn

Singing.  Please could you try to break into paragraphs?    Trying to read long blocks of text is hard for a lot of people., 

newborn

Waylay Take a look at Pandora's Aquarium, a free online forum for child abuse survivors, where you will find others 'speaking the same language'.     

But as you mention, there is no 'treatment' for facts of the past.     

There are after=effects, but you are the one who will recognise yourself in the words of some posts in Pandy's.     It is transforming.  Not being alone is revealing and comforting, and relieves the isolation of not being comprehended, believed, or accepted.   

Suddenly it makes sense, that many dislike being in the power of others, which makes it hard for them to deal easily with officials, or to be trapped in a room, or similar regular life-threatening experiences which may have been continued throughout their 'formative years';.    They may be using hard-learned practice of effort to conceal their fear, and trying to obey whatever the official demands, but the very fact they are doing so is itself a re-enactment  of exactly the situation they quite reasonably and understandably dread most.   

Some of the Pandora's Aquarium members have been made worse by being in the power of counsellors and therapists.    Some have wasted their precious energies in decades of 'treatment' which has made their lives worse, not least because the tacit agreement they are faulty and need to be corrected must automatically mean  they have their own strength and resourcefulness and independence is undermined, not reinforced .  Many find they are bully magnets, due to low belief in their equal human worth.   They have no sense of entitlement, even to exist. 

On the plus side, their resilience and strength and self sufficiency  were highly developed, to survive at all, and so is their empathy.    If they set their minds to it, they will help fix things for others, and if they convince themselves they are equal human beings, they could move mountains for their own benefit.

They tend to be isolated, because their life experience is too different from that of others, so they can't fully communicate or fully belong.   Their experience is that those who might have cared for them were the ones who harmed, those who might have helped were the ones who colluded, rejected, and (as Mia Farrow's daughter said) " first ignored, then disbelieved and finally demonised" the victim.   

Only a minority have florid responses, such as self harm or addiction.    Most will be above average on self discipline, after learning to control themselves so much so young. They tend to be workaholics because they have the will power to drive themselves hard.     

If, as children, they never saw healthy relationships and family, then they will have no knowledge or experience to assist them  in  being exact   clones of their more fortunate friends, neighbours and colleagues.   

If they seem to avoid some situations others enjoy, such as loud noise, or crowds, violence as entertainment, or whatever is triggering, then they know better than to try to explain (frequently leading to disgust, disbelief, rejection), but other people do sense they are withholding (frequently leading to accusations of secrecy, and again to rejection).    But  being reluctant to have one's head under water, for instance, is not surprising if that was part of the tactics of some of one's childhood rapists.  It is not a proof of madness merely to prefer not to swim underwater.   

 An analogy is someone who has his pocket picked at a cash-point.  He is not suffering some inherent mental fault which needs 'curing'.   He needs the police, not a 'crazy person' label.   He has been the witness to, and victim of, crime. 

In some extreme cases, a child, and the adult that the child becomes, , may have endured situations which are beyond the definition of 'abuse'.      A few are outright tortured by people who have total power over them, with no escape, and real risk of death.    It is Non-State-Torture.   An N.S.T. Survivor is not mentally flawed.    The people with deranged minds were his attackers, not him.

Nor is he in the same group as someone whose otherwise secure life took a surprise one day when they 'experienced, saw, or heard about', something distressing, which they found so shocking that they develop P.T.S.D . 

For a long term child abuse survivor, or, more so, for an N.S.T.Survivor,  it will be alienating to deal with the language, or the world, of someone who  (like Aunt Ada Doom in Cold Comfort Farm)  'once saw something nasty in the woodshed' and took permanently to her bed thereafter.     

(Similarly, for a  woman who is so unassertive  and easily bullied that her husband routinely for years has beaten, strangled, kicked,  violently raped,  bullied, coerced, threatened and nearly killed her, it will be alienating to deal with the assumptions of other women who seem to live in a different world,  such as one who is deeply affronted because their partner spoke sharply, or another whose partner admitted once continuing lovemaking for a few minutes after she fell asleep, which would now technically be marital rape.       

The woman who has, since infancy, known degrees cruelty, hatred and attack, from anyone who had both the opportunity and the inclination, will be astounded at the apparent basis of The Forsyte Saga, i.e., that the whole of society will revile the character named Soames  because of The Terrible Thing That Happened To Poor Irene.     

Poor Irene was his wife.    The books are far too long for most people to plough through, but, apparently, The Terrible Thing was, that after being married for some months or years, and still never having been invited to her bedroom, Soames had taken the initiative to claim his legal entitlement to Conjugal Rights.  If that really was the central obsession of the Saga, it makes no sense to anyone who knows the law, let alone anyone who knows the horrible side of humans.   At the time, and continuing till near the end of the 20th century, the law stated a man had Conjugal Rights to go to bed with his wife, and she had a legal duty to agree to his demands.   In theory, a husband could have taken his wife to court, to get a judge to order her to submit , under peril of being imprisoned for contempt of court if she defied)     
 

thespiceman

Hello @Singing Pleased to meet you.

Please if you do not mind like to add some guidance, advice .  On your current situation.

The difficulties and problems, issues you describe. Thank you for sharing with the community.

Your situation with your mental health reminds me of mine at this present time. Having been through various charities, services now know doing OK.

Have like all of us with mental health blips and down days.

Understand what is important is how you manage and cope. With your mental health wellbeing.

When I left the last charity. This what I think is important here finding what you want or need to progress.

Move on the journey, the recovery as many charities or council services call it. There are ways to guide you through the complexities and often confusion.

See what is available on line. Have a note pad make some notes, some plans. Be clear what you require.

Small steps , goals some aims. You wish to seek employment for example.  Would that be a big step and what would you require in the form of support.

I would look at this charity I used last time.  I know mention that a lot.  In posts about mental health.  Just because had what you are going through.

Had council services or used a number of charities but felt once got some where. Two steps forward two back again. 

Situation with my benefits. Same as you regarding future prospects. Looking at employment but again had problems, issues.

Website https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk.

Please give them a try. Have floating support, outreach workers.  Guidance on wellbeing, advice.  Do have some areas employment advisors and support can sign post you.

Wish you well

Take care.

@thespiceman

newborn

Hallo Spiceman How's things today?  That looked like a good link, you put for Singing, although when you look, it all depends if you are a square peg!.

newborn

It looks like an unusual organisation and great attitude behind it.    Drawback is, they don't like to allow the existence of anyone who is not correctly labelled, (you can't go on the site without membership which demands to know which one you hold) and it all depends if you are in a tiny geographical area, but their site does say they deal with people not labels.

thespiceman

Hello @newborn Thank you for comments.  Pleasure to talk to you again.

I apologise confused here about your two posts.

You mentioned first one about a good link.  Depends if your a square peg.

Second one need membership . Were you talking about this charity?

You do not need be either just to clarify.

Please can I inform you this is a charity. I first got involved with as a clientele. Because there are organisations, council services.

Have a policy that you ask for help and support with your mental health. Then find yourself back out on the street.

Getting no where. Many services are so stretched and over burden, underfunded.

I used them.  They helped me and guided, advised me with my mental health . Looking at wellbeing, the ongoing benefit situation.

May I also add they can offer floating support, out reach workers. Some areas I believe they might not cover.

I am not sure they do Scotland.

Yet they can signpost you to anything relevant.

The organisation is big.  Went to conference in Birmingham a few years a go. Met many people like my self.

Pleasant weekend lots of lectures and knowledge, education.

Help with addiction and have such advisors.  There policy is to make sure very one has good mental health.. 

Can advise on employment and additional support regarding that .

Have a recovery policy.  Using coping methods and strategies . Which I use my self.

As there has been so much regarding mental health.  On the media.  This morning.

I do think every one deserves good mental health and getting the right knowledge, education to move on.

Hope that helps you or any body else.

Sometimes as I have been with my issues a long time. If the doors are closing , have problems.

Then you need to evaluate what do I do next.

Meet so many people. Especially members of our community.

Who have walked a mile in my shoes. Trying to help be a friend.

Take care.

@thespiceman

MickConnon

Morning all. Have had internet connection issues so am just catching up with everything. ?

MickConnon

Hello @Waylay. I hear exactly what you are saying as you “feel you have been left on the scrap heap”.
The sad thing about services all over the UK is that money has been pulled from these effectively closing them down. I know from the area I’m in that the PD support services have gone not to be replaced by anything. This doesn’t help?

Going back to what you said about being physically disabled. Our physical health works in partnership with our Mental Health and these do deteriorate if one is out of balance. However, I appreciate the fact you are trying your very best to keep these aligned but I also see you are worried about the future as the uncertainty of what will be available to you support wise. This will not be helping. I am talking to others “in the know” to see what will be there. I will keep you posted about what I discover. 
I also agree with you on the fact that the Pathway they created is not helpful at all. Sometimes I do wonder why these are created as they do not take everyone’s needs into consideration and do marginalise those who need the support most. @thespiceman put this rather well that services have been cut and those staff left are having so much thrust upon them. I know all about this as I was one who had to go to protect my own Mental Health. 

I hear you very well about IAPT as they are good for low to medium level CBT based therapies and are not really geared up to deal with BPD or C-PTSD? There are a lot of places where the 2 of these conditions meet and i can see where you are now questioning the original diagnosis 8 years ago. 

At the end of the day,I am here to support everyone as a unique individual as that’s what we are. No-one can be pigeonholed by diagnosis, nor disability, be it physical or psychological. We all have so much to give and I feel that yours is yet to come but please keep fighting for what you believe in as reading between the lines, you fought for the service to be kept open. 

We are here as a support group, not only me but my fellow advisors. We are human beings but those who choose to help others. ?

Singing

Thank you spice man. I must admit as of late I am finding that charities and organisations outside of the status quo are a lot better at treating people like people. So I am to get more involved with that area now.

dolfrog

Is this just one continuous thread, or should there be individual posts per question or topic, this thread is so very confusing.

MickConnon

Hi @dolfrog, I too am confused and wondering if a separate mini section can be added to the site so people can post their questions? Admins could this be done? 

dolfrog

Sam_Scope  @Richard_Scope

Can you help @MickConnon

sort out the confusion regarding this thread becoming too long and too unrelated to any specific issues.

each new poster should be able to post a new topic rather than having one increasingly meaningless thread.

Adrian_Scope

Hello all,
I have separated any posts after this point from this particular thread.

If you have any questions for @MickConnon, please make your own post within the category, so it can receive the attention it deserves.

Many thanks,
Adrian
Scope Community