feeling very anxious about the past and the future

onelife

Thanks, do you think therapists are any use? I have already seen a few. 

Chloe_Alumni

Hi @onelife, I guess this is down to the individual. I'm not a medical professional so can't advise fully, but I know it's important to have a therapist that you can connect with. This isn't necessarily the first person you have. There are also different styles of counselling like CBT or person- centred. These different approaches can work very differently depending on the person. I guess there's no harm in seeing if they can support you

onelife

I just feels a little but like trial and error until I actually get relief from this. 

Chloe_Alumni

I can imagine @onelife! I hope the next person is more suited to supporting you

onelife

To be honest I think I have given up getting help with the anxiety. 

Chloe_Alumni

I'm sorry you feel that way @onelife, please to reach out if you need any support though. We will always be listening

onelife

Is it alright to ignore swearing and rudeness and not be affected by it?

Adrian_Scope

Hi @onelife, I suppose it’s dependent upon context. If you’re not alright with it though, then it’s not alright.
Has something happened recently to bother you?

As for finding a therapist that works — it can take time and you won’t always connect on the first attempt, or find someone who feels supportive immediately. I would still try though. I know it seems like an ordeal, but anxiety is better tackled with support.

onelife

What do you mean by 'context' @Adrian_Scope? Surely rudeness is rudeness and swearing is always offensive language, especially when coupled with anger? I hate swearing from other people, especially the f*** and c*** words, there absolutely no reason for it to be used in anger against someone else.

onelife

What's a 'cpn' @Elsey66? It shouldn't be a matter of trial and error and getting the right person, the psychiatrist just isn't doing his/her job properly. they should first of all build up a level of trust with their patient then they should work with their patient to slowly unravel the issues which are causing the anxiety to get to the root cause. But instead, he just asks me things like, 'how is your appetite, how is your sleep, how is your motivation, I'll see you at our next appointment, goodbye'

onelife

@Chloe_Scope It shouldn't be a matter of trial and error and getting the right person, the psychiatrist just isn't doing his/her job properly. they should first of all build up a level of trust with their patient then they should work with their patient to slowly unravel the issues which are causing the anxiety to get to the root cause. But instead, he just asks me things like, 'how is your appetite, how is your sleep, how is your motivation, I'll see you at our next appointment, goodbye'

Adrian_Scope

Hi @onelife, I think I misunderstood your post.
I was mostly referring to swearing. Not everyone's offended by it, but swearing coupled with anger is of course a different kettle of fish. However, to answer your original question: it's okay to not be affected by things, but equally okay to be bothered by them. We all have things we're more sensitive to than others. 

Is it your neighbour who's still being aggressive?

onelife

Yes, @Adrian_Scope, he always seems to have an aggressive and angry disposition, I can even see it the way he walks. Its like I daren't challenge him on anything for fear of him exploding with anger against me. It makes living here with him as a neighbour utterly miserable. I live in fear of him coming to my door for something. I am already telling couriers I don't take any parcels in from him. I am really upset over the car incident and one or two other incidents where I have had to speak to him.

onelife

@Adrian_Scope a lot of the time I think to myself I don't care if I totally fall out with him as he can't expect to speak to me like that and that there are no consequences - how dare he!

Chloe_Alumni

Morning @onelife, I actually completely agree with you. It should be able the therapist taking time to build that trust, yet this isn't always the case. By finding the right person it's more about who you feel comfortable with, much like you wouldn't be friends with everyone, regardless of how long you've got to know them. I know the relationship with a therapist is different though.

onelife

@Chloe_Scope, Good morning . I once went to a therapist who got annoyed with me when I started talking to him about my dad and my brother, he basically said I was wasting his time and my time and he swore at me, I reported him but he wrote back with excuses.

Chloe_Alumni

I'm sorry you experienced this @onelife! That certainly was not fair and shouldn't have happened. I hope the new therapist isn't like that and you find them more supportive.

onelife

So do I, that's if I decide to go back again which I doubt. I have had this problem for 40 years nearly and that is testimony to the failure of the medical community to help me overcome anxiety. 

onelife

Why can't I accept people as I find them? I constantly find myself at odds with other people's behaviour, mannerisms, personality differences, etc. I just end up feeling so frustrated with them and myself. I find myself asking the question "why can't they be just like me?" Aaaagh!!