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The stress of inaccessible shopping

hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
edited November 2019 in Guest blogs

Hannah (28) has been disabled since an injury at the age of 14, which left her with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome and a range of secondary illnesses and complications. She’s a disability and lifestyle blogger and started her blog Hannah’s Hope (hannahdeakin.blogspot.com) in 2018. She’s passionate about making a difference, changing perceptions and promoting equality.

Shopping can be a stressful event, especially with a disability. What more can be done to make it a more pleasurable experience? 

In my experience shopping centres are the best, preferable to towns and villages. They are very accessible, on flat and smooth surfaces, with lifts to other floors, as well as having better facilities of disabled car parking spaces, accessible toilets and sometimes changing places and shop mobility centres. Towns and villages are not very accessible; there are so many shops that have steps. Some have portable ramps, but not many. I believe more needs to be done by the government to enforce the Equalities Act 2010, so that disabled people are given equal opportunities and access to able-bodied people. Currently, they still are at a huge disadvantage in shopping alone. 


Last year, I attempted to go into a branch of a multi-million pound coffee shop chain with a friend, only there was a step. My friend went in to enquire whether they had a ramp. They said that they didn't have one but could help lift me in! Although, this was very kind of the staff to offer and not their fault they didn't have access, there is no way they could lift me and my extremely heavy powerchair. Which together weigh over 200kg! My friend said that she wanted to say 'yes' to watch them try!

Once you have got past the hurdle of getting into a shop, the next issue can be if you find something you like and actually want to try it on! Do they have an accessible changing room? Often the answer is no, or yes but it is used for storage! This has left me feeling exposed as I am having to try something on, in a public area, or not being able to and so having to leave it. Sometimes, I end up buying the item or items in several sizes, to then try them on at home and then returning the sizes that don't fit. However, this is not always possible.

With some places it is a lack of knowledge or training. I have had situations with shop assistants where I have paid, then they give my mum/ PA the receipt, or I type in my PIN and request cash back and then they give my mum/ PA the cash back! If I’m capable of getting my card out, putting it in the machine and typing my PIN in, then I think I am capable of taking the cash or receipt! Moreover, if people are not sure they just need to ask! 


More needs to be done in staff training so that places are more accommodating. Purple Tuesday (12th November this year!) is a new campaign, calling for organisations to do more to make shopping more accessible and improving the customer experience for disabled people. Hopefully, as more shops come on board it will help educate more people, changing things for the better. Not just one day a year, but in general. 

Things are progressing in the right direction, with the introduction of quiet hours in some supermarkets, for people with Autism and other disabilities.

For some, the Internet and developments in technology has been a lifeline. Internet shopping enables people to order groceries and have them delivered to their door. If people can't get out or can't carry heavy items, this can be paramount. Furthermore, on top of food it allows individuals to shop and choose their own clothes, as well as presents etc. When I was bed-bound it enabled me to choose my own clothes and items that I liked, allowing me to be an individual and develop my own personality, rather than having to have them chosen for me, by my mum. This was important to me.

Christmas is the worst time, and sales are not great — the crowds of people (who have even less time for others than usual) and aisles that are narrower than the rest of the year and are brimming with stock and bursting with people. I hate it. People knock into me, push and shove and I just can't move. I go down one aisle, then have to reverse up as I can't get out, I make a second attempt on another aisle and by the third time and driving four times the distance, I get out at the place I want to. People lean over me and on me, so focused on the rush and getting what they need for the festive season they forget the true meaning of Christmas and the values of Christianity. 

What would improve your shopping experience? How do you do your shopping? Do you brave sales and what would make the experience more manageable if you don’t?

Replies

  • Jean EveleighJean Eveleigh Member Posts: 116 Pioneering
    As with you, I find local shops very hard to access either in my wheelchair or on my walking frame, there are some shops where the owner will come to the door asks me what I want and then get one of every type I the store for me to choose from; while this is very kind it is an extremely time-consuming way of shopping and essentially closes the store as they are not able to deal with any other customers so unless I only need 1 thing I don't use them.

    Larger stores either as stand-alone or in shopping centres can also be extremely difficult to access due to aisle size, displays or restocking trolleys blocking the aisles preventing me from getting down them or making it so tight I worry about damaging the stock (A few months back I took out three boxes of bottles in the booze aisle trying to get around a restocking trolley that had been abandoned  while the staff member went to help another customer) - so I tend to do 70% of my shopping online it is often cheaper, always easier and defiantly less stressful
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    Hi @Jean Eveleigh I am glad that local shop owners go out of their way to accommodate and help you. However, I can imagine it may feel a bit awkward if you don't then buy anything or you feel like you need to choose one of the first items they produce. It is a shame you miss out then. 
    Oo dear! I hope they didn't make you pay for the alcohol?
    I think online shopping is amazing in some respects, especially for those that can't get out and like you say often cheaper... Which is definitely something that disabled people could do with, especially given the extra costs of aids and other requirements, however in some respects I feel it is not the same experience. If you want inspiration or ideas or to see the quality of an item sometimes this is hard to do if is not in the flesh. Thank you for sharing your experience :) 
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    Has anyone seen/ tried the sunflower lanyard scheme set up? Sainsburys and Argos are now running it throughout all their stores to indicate subtley that someone may have an invisible disability and need extra help. Hopefully it will make a big difference 🙂
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    edited November 2019
    Hello @hdeakin   Pleased to meet you. Thank you for your wonderful post sharing your experiences.

    I am of the time when I used to go shopping with my disabled friends at the stores. So many times discrimination, not listening no one wishes to know.

    Patronising, condescending people and the staff had no idea clueless.

    Stories of my friends going to supermarkets the attitudes the not thinking could be helping here.

    Produce, and food items whizzing down the chute, no thoughts asking can I help or the worse the noise clicking of teeth behind you as the irritating lady or man wants you to move.

    Used to get asked all the time can we go first, before you.

    Then the arguments started a bit of verbal and may I add this was the disabled aisle.  From those who have no patience or tolerance or worse the singled out.

    Look at that man his hands or whatever the friend I took they were poked, prodded and made to feel insecure.

    I do not ever understand shopping and people who see us a different. Never going to change needs to be  some more pressures for business to adapt as I pointed out to some one recently.

    All of us disabled in the community want to be accepted and just treated  right by those who do not think or know how to deal or cope with us.

    Reason I stopped shopping use on line now all the time, simply too tired stressed. Anxious and do I need this.

    This morning up by 8.30 my food shopping done.

    No more car parking and waiting delivery of food and produce Tuesday.

    By the way you can ask any supermarket to take the produce or food items where you want. Many of the drivers will do this. I ask to the kitchen and will unpack for you.

    Great service.

    Thanks for thoughtful interesting post. 

    Pleasure to meet you.

    Please take care.

    @thespiceman





    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
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  • April2018momApril2018mom Member [under moderation] Posts: 2,882 Member - under moderation
    I do a lot of my non food shopping alone. Once a year however I love to take both children on a night of Christmas shopping. I have also taken my son who is a full time wheelchair user to the local supermarket for a pizza etc. I strongly prefer shops that have a levelled entrance. It makes my life so much easier overall. 
    This afternoon I was at a shopping mall that had a access ramp and I thought “Very helpful” as I looked at it. I try to avoid shops in London that are too crowded or inaccessible. I rate all stores and shops out of five based partly on their accessibility. This is a habit I have developed after my son was born. If the shop has a wheelchair ramp, that automatically gets them one star. Is there a accessible shop guide or not?
    I’ll love to read it seriously. What problems have you faced at non accessible shops? I love talking about this issue. As my son gets older, I plan on supporting him in speaking for himself on this matter. It is about time we spent time trying to fix this problem. 
  • Jean EveleighJean Eveleigh Member Posts: 116 Pioneering
    hdeakin said:

    Oo dear! I hope they didn't make you pay for the alcohol? 


    They didn't although I offered twice once with the checkout I went to as soon as it happened to report it and get it cleaned asap so it wasn't a hazzard for someone else and once at the customer service desk when I had completed my shopping and was ready to leave the store, I did get a snooty remark form the security officer though about leaning how to drive properly -  but under the circumstances I chose to ignore it rather than confront or complain.

    I always do my food shopping especially fresh food in person as I have always been unhappy with the use by dates when trying online ordering but have issues with mainly other shoppers, leanking over me when I'm trying to look into the freezers or over me to grab stuff off the shelves when I'm in my chair, lucily with my carer I can walk around the store holding onto the trolley as my carer can do the grabbing and lifting for me but yes at the checkout it takes us longer and I often feel someone elses trolley knockig my legs to try to hurry me along of feel their breath as they are stood so close to me.

  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Shopping for me means I must go switch an aide. I am a high call risk and physically frail.  The side will lift and carry groceries out then away.


    I also have agoraphobiia, but I had made progress on that before the accidents.  

    I do enjoy being out of my apartment. I wish my stamina were not so limited.

    I had often had a sales person talk to my side and ask her to pay. It is quite deemeaning.



  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Some about at me and speak very slowly,, assuming I a mentally deficient.

    They calls call me "you poor thing". Guess they think I could not handle money.
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    Hi @thespiceman, thank you 😊 I am sorry to hear that you have you have not been treated well and had bad experiences 😢 I hate it when people click their tongue, it is so rude. People should be patient. I am glad online shopping works well for you and is less stressful for you. I am glad the delivery drivers are very accommodating and helpful too. 😊
  • AilsAils Community champion Posts: 2,268 Disability Gamechanger
    An interesting discussion, Hannah, so many thanks for highlighting an important topic.  I agree with you that shopping malls are the best places to shop when out and about as so much bigger and more accessible.  I have also experienced some sales assistants giving receipts to my mum instead of me at times and it is really annoying and quite frankly rude on their part!  We use Amazon a lot for ordering various items, but I do enjoy going to the bigger shops with my mum/friends as nothing beats the atmosphere of being out shopping (if you enjoy it that is) and physically seeing and being able to touch an item before buying.  :smile:
    Winner of the Scope New Volunteer Award 2019.   :)
  • LifeOfPippaLifeOfPippa Member Posts: 15 Courageous
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    Hi @April2018mom level access makes such a difference. It can be difficult when shops have split levels too and you have to get platform style lifts up and down as well as standard lifts to other floors. I am not sure, I know access able is a great organisation involved in rating accessibility for all in shops, universities and other areas of interest. I like your idea of rating shops! I totally agree I hate it when it is too crowded, I end up getting knocked, pushed and shoved and hurt. I have got stuck in aisles and not been able to go forward or backwards as it is too tight. Definitely, it needs fixing. No one would think we are in the 21st century! I hope your boys enjoy their evening of Christmas shopping and you have a good experience with it 😊
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    I am glad they didn't make you pay for the alcohol @Jean Eveleigh I am sorry it was not a nice experience for you and comments like that from the security guard are unnecessary. Yes getting longer best before dates is a problem with online shopping, especially if you want something for later in the week or if they don't have the item and replace it with something 'similar'!
    I am sorry to hear about your experiences in the supermarket. It is so rude and upsetting 😢
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    Hi @cracker thanks for sharing your experience. I am sorry to hear them😢 I hate it when people treat you as if you are stupid. It is very upsetting. I am glad you enjoy getting out of your apartment and I hope these experiences are not ruining it too much for you. 
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    Hi @Ails, thank you 😊 I am sorry to hear that you have experienced that too. Yes I generally enjoy it! And agree seeing a picture is not the same as feeling the quality and seeing the item in the flesh. 
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
  • junkiey_1junkiey_1 Member Posts: 1 Listener
    Thank you very much for your sharing and want to learn from you. :):)



    I can't walk easily, but I had to change my mattress, which has been with me for a long time, but I didn't want to go to the high street, because it was expensive and too far away, so I chose shopping online, because people couldn't see me.

    I found some mattress brands on amazon. The reviews seem to be good, and some of them keep reading about it.

    Homylink mattress review, looks good, but not sure if it's right for me. Maybe someone can give me some advice?
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    Hi @junkiey_1 thank you and your welcome. I hope it was helpful. The homylink mattress looks good. Supportive and sounds comfortable. Is there an out of town retail park that you/ someone could help you get to to feel and or try it? I always think everyone has a personal preference on mattresses and you want to be comfortable. Even then if you do buy it online at least you have tried it. I hope this is a little helpful. Good luck. 😊
  • April2018momApril2018mom Member [under moderation] Posts: 2,882 Member - under moderation
    hdeakin said:
    Hi @April2018mom level access makes such a difference. It can be difficult when shops have split levels too and you have to get platform style lifts up and down as well as standard lifts to other floors. I am not sure, I know access able is a great organisation involved in rating accessibility for all in shops, universities and other areas of interest. I like your idea of rating shops! I totally agree I hate it when it is too crowded, I end up getting knocked, pushed and shoved and hurt. I have got stuck in aisles and not been able to go forward or backwards as it is too tight. Definitely, it needs fixing. No one would think we are in the 21st century! I hope your boys enjoy their evening of Christmas shopping and you have a good experience with it 😊
    Sorry for the late response! I have twins one boy one girl. We were in a local Chinese restaurant the other night and it was completely accessible. I was able to get my son’s wheelchair in there without any issue at all which is rare when it comes to eating out. My local supermarket and pub are fairly accessible too. I’ll have to check out that website as well- is it any good or not?
    We were out trick or treating about three weeks earlier and I did have problems accessing some of the houses in the dark due to my son’s wheelchair. I find that it is not too much if I avoid grass. Wheelchairs and grass are a bad combo seriously! Maybe there is a big sign somewhere? I should get one that says wheelchair user coming so can you please move over to make room? 
  • MarkGibbons1MarkGibbons1 Member Posts: 13 Connected
    I have mobility problems and my partner is a wheelchair user with her having cerebral palsy and we both find shopping hard to do. Even when were doing it together or individually with our career the isles are not wide enough.

    Card factory is really bad to get round due to them being so small and narrow that the chair struggles to get past. Some shops have steps and still no ramps, which boggles me being in the 21st century. 

    Even shops who say they're accessible are not again due to the shelves being so close together. I think they all need some kind of accessible training as well as disability training.
    Some shops are getting it right though.
  • ash5896ash5896 Member Posts: 118 Pioneering
    hdeakin said:

    Hannah (28) has been disabled since an injury at the age of 14, which left her with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome and a range of secondary illnesses and complications. She’s a disability and lifestyle blogger and started her blog Hannah’s Hope (hannahdeakin.blogspot.com) in 2018. She’s passionate about making a difference, changing perceptions and promoting equality.

    Shopping can be a stressful event, especially with a disability. What more can be done to make it a more pleasurable experience? 

    In my experience shopping centres are the best, preferable to towns and villages. They are very accessible, on flat and smooth surfaces, with lifts to other floors, as well as having better facilities of disabled car parking spaces, accessible toilets and sometimes changing places and shop mobility centres. Towns and villages are not very accessible; there are so many shops that have steps. Some have portable ramps, but not many. I believe more needs to be done by the government to enforce the Equalities Act 2010, so that disabled people are given equal opportunities and access to able-bodied people. Currently, they still are at a huge disadvantage in shopping alone. 


    Last year, I attempted to go into a branch of a multi-million pound coffee shop chain with a friend, only there was a step. My friend went in to enquire whether they had a ramp. They said that they didn't have one but could help lift me in! Although, this was very kind of the staff to offer and not their fault they didn't have access, there is no way they could lift me and my extremely heavy powerchair. Which together weigh over 200kg! My friend said that she wanted to say 'yes' to watch them try!

    Once you have got past the hurdle of getting into a shop, the next issue can be if you find something you like and actually want to try it on! Do they have an accessible changing room? Often the answer is no, or yes but it is used for storage! This has left me feeling exposed as I am having to try something on, in a public area, or not being able to and so having to leave it. Sometimes, I end up buying the item or items in several sizes, to then try them on at home and then returning the sizes that don't fit. However, this is not always possible.

    With some places it is a lack of knowledge or training. I have had situations with shop assistants where I have paid, then they give my mum/ PA the receipt, or I type in my PIN and request cash back and then they give my mum/ PA the cash back! If I’m capable of getting my card out, putting it in the machine and typing my PIN in, then I think I am capable of taking the cash or receipt! Moreover, if people are not sure they just need to ask! 


    More needs to be done in staff training so that places are more accommodating. Purple Tuesday (12th November this year!) is a new campaign, calling for organisations to do more to make shopping more accessible and improving the customer experience for disabled people. Hopefully, as more shops come on board it will help educate more people, changing things for the better. Not just one day a year, but in general. 

    Things are progressing in the right direction, with the introduction of quiet hours in some supermarkets, for people with Autism and other disabilities.

    For some, the Internet and developments in technology has been a lifeline. Internet shopping enables people to order groceries and have them delivered to their door. If people can't get out or can't carry heavy items, this can be paramount. Furthermore, on top of food it allows individuals to shop and choose their own clothes, as well as presents etc. When I was bed-bound it enabled me to choose my own clothes and items that I liked, allowing me to be an individual and develop my own personality, rather than having to have them chosen for me, by my mum. This was important to me.

    Christmas is the worst time, and sales are not great — the crowds of people (who have even less time for others than usual) and aisles that are narrower than the rest of the year and are brimming with stock and bursting with people. I hate it. People knock into me, push and shove and I just can't move. I go down one aisle, then have to reverse up as I can't get out, I make a second attempt on another aisle and by the third time and driving four times the distance, I get out at the place I want to. People lean over me and on me, so focused on the rush and getting what they need for the festive season they forget the true meaning of Christmas and the values of Christianity. 

    What would improve your shopping experience? How do you do your shopping? Do you brave sales and what would make the experience more manageable if you don’t?

    Shopping is a nightmare. I tend to use my crutches more as it’s easier to navigate. The wholes thing can be a nightmare from start to finish. If I can get to park in a disabled bay would be great. If I do find a space then I feel like I have to justify myself as people stare. Even though you can clearly see I have a disability. 
    I did have an incident which ended up with me and my family being abused by an idiot who thought I wasn’t disabled until my wife took the wheelchair out of the boot. So if I can cross that hurdle and if I’m using crutches it’s the idiots that don’t look and accidentally knock into my crutches. I know it’s not done intentionally and can be annoying. 
    The queues are a nightmare in most places and it’s not easy for me to wait. It really does become hard so hence we use more online shopping than in person. If we do venture out we try and go early as to avoid busy times.
    i must admit I am impressed with Primark and they deserve recognition for this. A few months ago I was in the queue I only and a couple of pairs of socks. I was right toward the end of it and it was pretty long. A guy came over and he was a manager but I didn’t realise that at the time. He took me to the disabled desk and said in future and in any Primark store I can or any disabled person can just walk up to the desk and as soon as a cashier sees you, you will be served. 
    I think it’s a great idea and more shops could learn from this. If we are in Primark and the queue is very long I do just go over to the disabled desk. So we’ll done to Primark and I really appreciate that you allow disabled customers to do this. 
    Ash 
  • Gail SteinsonGail Steinson Member Posts: 5 Connected
    I preference shopping in larger stores there more accessible I tend to avoid shopping in store at Christmas as there’s so much stock lying around it’s very hard to get round and sales are a complete no no.
  • shazzzybshazzzyb Member Posts: 4 Connected
    Hi Hannah, agree with all you said especially out of town shopping centres being more accessible. I too live with chronic pain but also chronic migraines which leaves me super sensitive to noise, sounds and lights. Last disastrous shopping attempt found me in a 3 storey shop on 3rd floor when lights started flickering. Immediately I started to feel sick an dizzy. Luckily I was near the pay desk and just clung on to it as the room tilted and I could not see the floor. I had a kind of mini seizure which left me exhausted and struggling to leave the store. At the time a member of staff asked was I okay, I couldn't even see her, told her I was very dizzy she just said 'oh 'and walked off leaving me  ! I could not move for fear of falling over.  Another shop struck off the list.
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Gail Steinson   @shazzyb
    Pleased to meet you both. Please if I can suggest have you considering shopping on line.
    Lot easier to do. Deliveries are tailored for your needs.  Especially food shopping many plans all affordable.
    Habits of shopping going to stores simply too much for me.
    Sweating dry mouth, the nosy questions the asking why are you different to me.
    Not children adults, the car parking, the stress the anxious times.
    Going on line soon to do a Xmas shop book this early and then no need to worry.
    Saving money time energy and you know the cost as you see it on the website.
    Never go out o stores again. AMAZON and my parcels await.
    Delivery tomorrow, groceries into the kitchen helps me unload and no soggy wet shopping, no tired feet. No problems.
    Hope that helps.
    @thespiceman

    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    Hi @April2018mom I am glad you managed to get out for a Chinese restaurant and your local pub is fairly accessible, it makes a big difference. Yes access able is good and they have an app too.
    I totally agree with you wheelchairs and grass don't mix!
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    Hi @MarkGibbons1 I am sorry that you find shopping hard. I totally agree with you, you would not think we are in 2019 with the access around. My local town have just had a new shop unit built in the town which is not a level access entrance, there is a small step. Why? I say! They could have made it accessible. Some shops are good but a lot are not 😥
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    Hi @ash5896, I am sorry you have had some bad experiences with disabled parking. People really are too quick to judge. They have no idea of what someone goes through and their life. I have heard people suffering with invisible illnesses having bad experiences with people making nasty comments with disabled parking too etc. 
    Well done Primark. That is good, it will make a big difference to people especially if they can't stand for long and there is a long queue. Thanks for sharing this 🙂
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    Hi @Gail Steinson I totally agree with you. Larger shops are better. I am sorry that you also find Christmas and sales shopping terrible. Do you use the internet for buying christmas presents or try and get them early?
  • ash5896ash5896 Member Posts: 118 Pioneering
    hdeakin said:
    Hi @ash5896, I am sorry you have had some bad experiences with disabled parking. People really are too quick to judge. They have no idea of what someone goes through and their life. I have heard people suffering with invisible illnesses having bad experiences with people making nasty comments with disabled parking too etc. 
    Well done Primark. That is good, it will make a big difference to people especially if they can't stand for long and there is a long queue. Thanks for sharing this 🙂
    Hi 
    thank you for your reply
    what I wrote about Primark applies to all their stores so if anyone is shopping there I would urge you to use it as it’s not easy waiting especially if it causes you pain.

    😊
    Ash 
  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    Hi @shazzzyb That is awful. I am so sorry to hear of your experience. They could of at least got you a chair to sit on and a glass of water or something and definitely not just abandoned you. I hope you have a much better experience in the future.
  • April2018momApril2018mom Member [under moderation] Posts: 2,882 Member - under moderation
    Thanks @hdeakin.  
    My son and I went to a bowling alley yesterday for a quick friendly game followed by lunch. We had a great time. 

    I noticed that there was a disabled wheelchair friendly lift but it took a while to respond. But it was much better than nothing especially since he is a full time wheelchair user due to paraplegia of the lower body. It made it easier on me honestly. I did not have to carry him up and down the stairs. 
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing Team, Scope community team Posts: 7,984 Scope community team
    As ever, a really insightful post @hdeakin. Have you got all your Christmas shopping done yet?  ;)
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

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  • hdeakinhdeakin Member Posts: 123 Pioneering
    Thank you @Adrian_Scope
    Hehe! Not all of it unfortunately! So I am going to have to brave some of those narrow aisles and delightful shoppers!
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