when you feel like you just dont want to be around any more — Scope | Disability forum
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when you feel like you just dont want to be around any more

cupcake88 Posts: 1,240 Pioneering
Each day is such a struggle for me like Im sure it is for every one . I find it hard to make friends thought I made two where I used to work but lately I haven't heard from them they both ignore me when I message them . I just heard from one just now and said they have all been told there not allowed to speak to me and there not allowed to be my witness for this employment tribunal Im taking them too . Apparently there gonna have there people who caused me the distress and discriminated against me in court as witnesses which I really dont get that . 

I have just sat here crying and feeling panicked and think why do I bother try and make friends people turn out to be like that and let you down . This lady I was friends with was one of the people who witnessed me being called retarded and actually reported to the manager so Im not sure if there trying to scared staff who need there jobs not to speak to me well its working . Apart of me thinks I just dont want to leave the house any more not like I did any way but I was starting to feel more confident now Im just to scared to even take my dog out for a walk I feel completely knocked down . 

I have no money comming in I mean like I said my partner looks after me we have roof over our heads and food in the cuppard  but its nice to have my own money I can just tell Im prob going to have to really fight to get pip the only benefit I can get . 

My partner always gives me encouragement hes told me if I want to drop the tribunal against my old employer I should but then I think then they have won. I did look up where the tribunal will be and its in a fancy building where there are tons of offices so its doesnt look like a scary court room . I dont feel like they should get away with it so Im going to push threw and speak my truth .

I cant believe that the owner of the company was a nurse I just feel like abit of a twit because I had wrote some personal things on the form I filled out I just hope the people at the tribunal dont laugh at me . 


  • Lou67
    Lou67 Member Posts: 1,000 Pioneering
    Hi @cupcake88 I’m so sorry to hear what your going through, with your health and having to take your employer to tribunal, it may be the case the people you were friends with are now scared to speak out on your behalf, I hope you manage to have the strength to get through this as it’s totally disgusting the way you were spoke to, hopefully your partner will be at your side all the way to give you support, take care and stay strong. 
  • Jankins
    Jankins Member Posts: 11 Listener
    Hi @cupcake88 So sorry to hear about  your situation.  Be strong, Lou67 is right - they are probably scared.  From what I've seen on this site, there are a lot of people here who care so perhaps you can meet new friends on here!  Good luck with your tribunal and your ex-employer sounds awful.  You are better off out of there.
  • woodbine
    woodbine Member, Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,721 Disability Gamechanger
    @cupcake88 hi sorry to hear you are going through a tough time, remember we are all here for you whenever you need someone.
    Be extra nice to new members.
  • Wini1960
    Wini1960 Member Posts: 130 Pioneering
    @cupcake88 Hi I will be praying for you. There is so much injustice in the world. Dont give up the fight. Discrimination is a nasty plague and needs the root of it cut out. As you can see I'm a black woman and racism is real. Unfortunately until we keep standing together discrimination will continue to raise its ugly head. I would suggest before the tribunal date is to do some assertive courses so that you will be confident and not passive. All the best going forward.
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,240 Pioneering
    Thank you so much every one one for your replies it’s so nice to have all your support it made me feel good to see all
    your support and kind words .

    its important that I do take this all the way it’s about standing up for what’s right . A lot of people are treated like this I don’t think im the only one so I need to find the strength with in me . 

    My local mp was useless waste of time contacting her . Literally  there is no legal Support for any one taking there emloyers to tribunal . Unless you have thousands of pounds it’s wrong . This why a lot of employers get away with it . I don’t think think there going to settle out of court my partner thinks they will tho  . 

    Im preparing for every thing just incase x 
  • Lou67
    Lou67 Member Posts: 1,000 Pioneering
    Good morning, I’m so glad the messages helped you, could you ask citizen advice for some help, I’m not sure if they can but it would be worth asking, nothing to loose but plenty to gain, just want you to know your in my thoughts and prayers, take care and please let us know how it goes and how your getting on ?
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,240 Pioneering
    Hi sweetie I spoke to cab and they did there best to help but they only read what’s off the internet . I’m not apart of a union or have legal cover or any thing like that . 

    I had a job interview today on the phone and they seemed very focused on questions to do with my illness I just said at the end of it I’m guessing I didn’t get the job because of my mental illness and she said that they don’t discriminate lol we will see .

    i do have a little update regarding the tribunal I’ll be it in my post regarding that. I was feeling so low yesterday and I’m so glad that there’s a community that understands me Xx 
  • serenity2
    serenity2 Member Posts: 206 Pioneering
    hi @cupcake88
    im so sorry for what you are experiencing right now. You have my utmost respect for wanting to ensure you speak your truth, amazing, it’s difficult enough for us at times , without the anxiety of tribunals, your positivity and strength about speaking up is admirable to say the least. 
    It’s no wonder you felt so low and didn’t wish to go out etc, if I have something really affecting me I tend to go into isolation mode too...and feel so bad I don’t wish to face the world or anyone in it,  this is all going to be history Pretty soon, things have to move on and they do...I’m sending you massive good wish vibes, you deserve them...
    the right people to become friends With are out there, take your time, as there are also lots of people who pass through our life and don’t become clos friends for whatever reason, that’s not your fault 

    take good care, and if you feel up to it let us know how ts all going, it often helps to write it down for me too..xx
    Best Wishes
  • Lou67
    Lou67 Member Posts: 1,000 Pioneering
    Hi hopefully you get the job, sorry CAB couldn’t help more, but I’m so glad your finding this community helpful, it’s a great place for support and advice ?
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,240 Pioneering
    Yes it’s great every one has been lovely and helpful , it just inspires me to going with this employment tribunal . I will keep every one updated . I’m really hoping that I get a sorry as well which I doubt I’ll get . X 
  • Lou67
    Lou67 Member Posts: 1,000 Pioneering
    Oh definitely that’s the least you should get it’s disgusting what happened to you, but onwards and upwards ?xx
  • Jankins
    Jankins Member Posts: 11 Listener
    HI @cupcake88 if you have a look on the CAB website you might be able to find a free local law center that may be able to help you.  Make sure you have someone with you at the tribunal to support you all the way.  Good luck xx :)
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 16,374 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi again, I am sorry that you are feeling so low but it is understandable.

    Dont  worry too much about no contact with your work colleagues they will have been instructed not to communicate with you as there is this outstanding case, it doesn't mean they wont tell the truth about what happened. But then again they may feel pressured by the employer.

    I would make sure you discuss this in the tribunal and that could show the witnesses may not be credible, if you have any text messages etc save them

    Hopefully this will all soon be over but dont expect an apology  though you deserve it an apology is admission of guilt.

    I also think it will settle out of court ACAS are very good at doing all they can to avoid it going to court

    Everyone is here to support you even if it is good wishes and encouragement 
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,240 Pioneering
    Thank you so much I can’t thank you enough I have already started ahead of my self with the planning . I just hope I don’t have my pip assessment at the same time that be my luck ha .

    the fact that these so called Friends don’t bother with me could be because they really need there jobs which they do and they don’t want to annoy the owner . I have a feeling they haven’t been so kind to one of the ladies that witnessed it all . 

    Considering the manage has been openly racist to staff members , been discrimative and put up cameras so they can listen to what staff are saying they put a listening device behind the Alexa , they actually sacked some one for whistle blowing so the fact they have done all that I’m really shocked they have nothing bout them online no tribunals no nothing so they clearly are going to continue to be unprepared works in my favour .

    they have already told acas they don’t want to settle so I don’t see how it be any different now if im
    honest so I’m preparing for the worst . I’m also raising the fact they can’t explain my missing pension money and they only recently opened it and put the wrong details so I can’t even access it I want that explaining they pocket staffs pensions now if I was there along time it all adds up . 

    This isn’t just bout the money because I do plan on donating some of it . And it’s more bout the fact that they tried to really knock me down and im
    taking a stand . Xxx
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,240 Pioneering
    I can’t thank each and every one of you enough the amount of support and kindness every one shows is lovely . Hopefully one day we will see changes for more work opportunities and just to be treated like every one else and so that you don’t have to jump threw a million burning hoops just to get a small about of help money wise . 

    I originally stated a smaller amount that I wanted that was right at the start since there messing about and long things out and the fact I have a pre hearing  then the actual one it could take months I then worked out the money I would of earnt there and injury to feelings it comes to more than my original offer but that was at the start . I really can’t see them settling because I refuse to believe no one has ever tried to take them to court . My fella said that there not going want people knowing or the press etc how they treat people but I think there use me as example to set to staff that They don’t care . 

    I know a lot of you will understand where im comming from when you live with a mental or physical pain each day and you finally want to get back to working and your feeling great because you can actually get up and go to work and then some one just knocks you down and down and then that’s still not enough that they want to make your illness worst and then the owners who you worked for are like they don’t care it’s really hard it really knocks you back and I’m sure every one can sort of relate in a way this is why I’m prepared to go all the way with it . I do think I could win i may not have a fancy lawyer but that be because I don’t 12 000 just lying around spare ha which I’ll explain and I’ll explain from the heart like how I have been explaining on here . Xx 
  • Lou67
    Lou67 Member Posts: 1,000 Pioneering
    Great to hear stick with it you deserve this ???
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,240 Pioneering
    I will do I’ll give you some more updates soon hopefully . I’m feeling more positive today x
  • cupcake88
    cupcake88 Posts: 1,240 Pioneering
    Hi every one hope your well ? I’m very up and down this week . I just wanted to give you all a update so speaking to some one I know who still works there she told me on the phone today that two of the 4 staff members I had complained about are no longer there one left and the other got sacked . I highly doubt they have done any investigation Regarding what happened to me well I guess not because I would of had to of been there I’m guessing and sign some thing is that how work investigations work ? 

    I personally don’t think they have at all taken me serious or given it a second thought they would of received the letter by now of the notice for hearing they have a month to send a et3 form to the employment tribunal then for them to send it for me . I just have a feeling there gonna try get more time and mess about or act like they haven’t recieved it . 

    I now also know what I need to pre pare for the pre hearing . It’ looks like I just have to prepare a impact statement and the agenda will be discussed what we will discuss in the main hearing .

    i just wanted to say that also I didn’t get that part time job I went for and apparently it’s not to with my illness which I find hard not to believe I’m gonna try and not let it get me down . I know a lot of disabled people are discriminated against especially in the work place . 

    Even tho I feel like I just wanna give up I just feel like I have come this far and I’m really hoping to take this all the way so I get heard or get a apology and a settlement . I personally don’t see them settling as they would of done it as soon as they saw the Tribunal letter letter Which would of been last week . I’ll keep u all update I can’t thank you all enough for not just advising me but also to keep pushing for what’s right . Xxx
  • Jankins
    Jankins Member Posts: 11 Listener
    Well don @cupcake88 good for you!  Please get help from CAB or any other organisation like this.  You can google them and loads come up to help for free.  Good luck xx
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,545 Disability Gamechanger
    Really sorry you didn't get the job @cupcake88. I really hope you have an answer soon. I'm glad the community is able to help you during this. :)


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