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Difficulty staying tidy

nightwarsnightwars Member Posts: 12 Listener
I'm autistic and 27 and I'm with parents, I find it really hard to tidy/clean my room, I feel better when my stuff is surrounding me and kinda feel safer, but it really annoys my parents, is this just a me thing? 


  • woodbinewoodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 4,542 Disability Gamechanger
    hi @nightwars how are you this evening?, the weather here is horrible. I think that perhaps your parents need to respect your personal space as long as you respect there's, I always think that being clean is far more important than being 100% tidy
    "Putting a child into care, isn't caring for a child" (T.Rhattigan)
  • nightwarsnightwars Member Posts: 12 Listener
    thing is they only ask me to keep my room tidy and i struggle doing that, when i try i get distracted when i find things/ cant make myself concentrate and they get kinda angry about it quite a it cuz when i try it doesnt show cuz i cant do much, i like the rain so im happy right now being in the suns always made me feel icky
  • OverlyAnxiousOverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,448 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm the opposite myself.  I can't stand having a thing out of place but grew up in a house where other people weren't bothered by tidiness!  Also had some older relatives that were hoarders and found their house so massively overwhelming with stuff literally everywhere.

    If you feel safe and comfortable in the mess and it's only in your room I don't really see a problem with it.  If you're likely to trip over things and hurt yourself or if it could be a fire risk then obviously that could be a problem.  Otherwise it just sounds like your parents being a bit over-controlling.
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Member Posts: 22,218 Disability Gamechanger

    My daughter has autism and is also the opposite to you. Everything has to be in it's place and she hates anything that's messy. Tidying is one thing that she doesn't need support for. Infact, i don't know what i'd do without her. Having a disability myself i find daily things very difficult and she tidies every single day and i don't even have to ask her.

    I agree with others though, it's your room, you're not a child, if you're happy with your space being untidy then that's your decision. Although if you have trouble concentrating then writing a list of things you need to do may help you keep on track.
    Proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice I have given to members here on the community.
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,653 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @nightwars, have you been able to explain to your parents how you feel? I imagine it is stressful for you both.

  • nightwarsnightwars Member Posts: 12 Listener
    i did tell them, but since its their house its their rules, i guess maybe part of it comes from them being a bit old fashioned since they were both born in the 50's?
  • janer1967janer1967 Member Posts: 11,205 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @nightwars I understand it is your room and also that how you keep it makes you feel safe. Try and explain to your parents how you feel.

    However I am a believer that if you live in somebody else's house you need to try and respect their wishes

    But as long as it is clean and doesnt breed germs could you ask that you manage your own space for yourself
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