Would you like to change for person you love

joymerlin
joymerlin Online Community Member Posts: 2 Listener
in Relationships
Weather you can find happiness in it 

Comments

  • janer1967
    janer1967 Online Community Member Posts: 21,922 Championing
    My view is you shouldn't have to change the person you are or expect a partner to change 

    If you don't love them as they are then they are not right for you 

    Other than small changes like putting toilet seat down , not leaving dirty clothes around and things like that 

    Just my opinion  
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,453 Championing
    I agree with janer1967 @joymerlin. You shouldn't have to completely change yourself for the person you love. It's fine to make compromises, and work on improving yourself so you can be a better person (whether you're in a relationship or not!) but you shouldn't have to change yourself entirely.

    Is this a situation you're finding yourself in?
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    If they cant love you as you are then it's not worth it unless it's a major problem or doing something moraly wrong 
  • joymerlin
    joymerlin Online Community Member Posts: 2 Listener
    one of my friend ask me this question that’s why I post it

  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    As mentioned by others I don't think people should be forced into change, or feel the need to. But I think adaptation always happens within relationships, which isn't so much about changing who you are, it's more about ensuring that you work well as a couple.
  • Philip
    Philip Online Community Member Posts: 34 Contributor
    Someone I know told me when we got married, my got a gem, I don't drink for example, my came came from a family of heavy drinkers and the problems that went with it. I would help around the house, which according to my wife meant I was less of a man, as time went on so did my wife, making me possessive, that sort of thing, making me into something I didn't like, after a while I sought help and now I'm my true self, yes I changed to save my marriage. I didn't only change for my wife, I also did it for myself. However, my wife hasn't changed, but I deal with a lot better, mostly. The reason you change yourself, is not only for the one you love, but for the person you should also love just as much, that is you. 
  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 60,785 Championing
    Personally I wouldn't change, I have a rule, what you see is what  you get,  nothing more, nothing less. No im not a poet lol.
  • Caz_Alumni
    Caz_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 621 Empowering
    @Philip That's a really good philosophy to live by. 

    The reason you change yourself, is not only for the one you love, but for the person you should also love just as much, that is you. 

    @Sandy_123 Yes, I would definitely agree with you there. 

    I have a rule, what you see is what  you get,  nothing more, nothing less.

    For me and my partner, we've been together so long that we've just grown into each other. So, we've both definitely changed, but we didn't ask or force each other to do that. It's just happened naturally. 

    What do you think @jaymerlin?

  • leeCal
    leeCal Online Community Member Posts: 7,537 Championing
    I think both people change mutually over time to some extent. I also think that a healthy relationship shouldn’t be that hard on a day to day basis, if it is then it’s not healthy to be in. 
  • chloeblue04
    chloeblue04 Online Community Member Posts: 234 Empowering
    My advice is be yourself don't pretend to be someone else you are not. Don't change the one you love into someone else they are not you just need to learn to love them for who they are. 
  • Cress
    Cress Online Community Member Posts: 1,005 Trailblazing
    Are we talking character change or physical?

    I'd like to keep my character the same with maybe an extra large side of optimism and hold the depression ...and I'd also prefer to look like Angelina Jolie... :D
  • mia97
    mia97 Online Community Member Posts: 51 Contributor
    i don't think it is a a good idea to completely change for anyone, the person who claims to 'love' you will like you for who you are. naturally there will be things which they may not particularly agree with or like about you, because everyone is different. I think a huge part of relationships is compromisation and meeting half-way.

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