Can we be attractive to people without any disabilities?

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Comments

  • gru1248
    gru1248 Online Community Member Posts: 37 Listener
    I have had a look this morning saw it on here 
    but they are all down south and it said went site temporarily down  thank you 
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    gru1248 said:
    I have had a look this morning saw it on here 
    but they are all down south and it said went site temporarily down  thank you 
    Thanks for your reply :) 

    I'm not sure where you are based so I don't know what down south means for you specifically, but they have a list of events on this page and they seem to span quite a bit of the country. Is there any of them that are close by to you?
  • gru1248
    gru1248 Online Community Member Posts: 37 Listener
    I’ve joined thank you but not heard nothing yet 
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    gru1248 said:
    I’ve joined thank you but not heard nothing yet 
    I see, hopefully you hear back soon :) 
  • gru1248
    gru1248 Online Community Member Posts: 37 Listener
    Thank you for your help 
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Online Community Member Posts: 21,922 Championing
    Personally I wasn't impressed with oursiders it was too complicated to set up a profile and see other profiles 

    I have used Facebook dating it doesn't allow anyone to see your normal Facebook account just the profile you set on the dating section 

    Believe it or not I met my current partner on tinder but you need to be very cautious of all the fake profiles and scammers 
  • gru1248
    gru1248 Online Community Member Posts: 37 Listener
    Thank you for that I’m already on Facebook darlo no luck I think they read my profile say no more 
    you are honest don’t want to know 
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Online Community Member Posts: 21,922 Championing
    It takes time to find the right person it's not a quick fix 

    Personally I didn't put my disability in my profile but I disclosed it if I started chatting to someone who I thought might be suitable 
  • gru1248
    gru1248 Online Community Member Posts: 37 Listener
    I I’ve been on different sites for the last 2 years like I see only get abused 
  • MissMarple
    MissMarple Online Community Member Posts: 187 Empowering
    gru1248 said:
    I wish I could have a relationship some of the dating sites I tried only get remark’s eg who would want a man like you 
    so I don’t brother how.
    I'm sorry to hear that you received such appalling remarks. Who does this person think they are to decide on everyone else's behalf whether they would want a man like you? Everyone would be better off focusing on their own relationship goals. It's hard enough without people behaving nasty.
  • gru1248
    gru1248 Online Community Member Posts: 37 Listener
    Thank you for your kind reply I’m not bothering now x
  • Danielle_2022
    Danielle_2022 Online Community Member Posts: 265 Empowering
    Hi there.
    Apologies that I’m a little late with writing a comment here, but I wanted to tell you about Shane and Hannah Burcaw, in case you don’t know about them already. He has a condition called Spinal Muscular Atrophy (or SMA) and she is non-disabled. They make popular videos over on YouTube & recently posted an interview about their relationship, which you can find here: https://youtu.be/Y-T39djpGRo. Shane talks about a lot of issues that seem to mirror your own experiences & I think it’s something that a lot of people in the community face. Still, I wanted you to know that it is possible & you deserve to be loved in exactly the same way as everyone else, no matter what it looks like :)
  • gru1248
    gru1248 Online Community Member Posts: 37 Listener
    Well done to them both 
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,452 Championing
    Just to add to @Danielle_2022's comment, Roll with Cole and Charisma is another good channel with some interesting and humorous videos, as is Sign Duo :)
  • chloeblue04
    chloeblue04 Online Community Member Posts: 234 Empowering
    Hello 

    I had met 6 boys in my past and fell in love with them but as I grew up I began to realise that none of them are not what they seem to be. They're all friendly but I will find someone else who will respect me for who I am. 

    Finding "the one" to me is a difficult and sad burden to bare for a lonely singleton. 
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    chloeblue04 said:
    Hello 

    I had met 6 boys in my past and fell in love with them but as I grew up I began to realise that none of them are not what they seem to be. They're all friendly but I will find someone else who will respect me for who I am. 

    Finding "the one" to me is a difficult and sad burden to bare for a lonely singleton. 
    Good morning :) Thanks for commenting here and telling us your experience.

    Sorry to hear that the people you have met in the past didn't respect you for who you are. Finding the right person can take time but I'm sure that you will meet somebody eventually who you really enjoy being with, somebody who respects you and you respect in return.
  • chloeblue04
    chloeblue04 Online Community Member Posts: 234 Empowering
    Thank you Ross
  • Maurice123
    Maurice123 Online Community Member Posts: 111 Empowering
    I think this is a fascinating subject for discussion. I have had part of my right leg removed to avoid serious infection of the whole leg and probable subsequent death. So okay its happened but I have no wish to give up on life as a result.
    I have been trying a few dating sites and have found very mixed results from outright frauds to a very few genuine ones. The frauds are usually businesses with an overseas address which includes Southern Ireland and the Isle of Man. Genuine ones are eHarmony and Match. The genuine ones are ones where you receive some replies. You will make lots of requests but only a few people will reply. In most cases replying to people who are not localish is a waste of time as distant relationships usually do not work. This is all before you feel it is necessary to disclose any invisible or other disability. The problem is moving from the point where you are chatting to somebody to admitting you have a disability. Most people are lucky enough to have a marriage or a partner before they suffer a disability. Those are more understanding about rejection by able bodies persons. I admit that i was less than understanding before my disability but I hope have a balanced outlook now. I once had a blind girlfriend whose engagement fell apart with a previous boyfriend when she lost her sight in a car accident. The difference between her and a few of her friends who were blind from birth was enormous. She dressed well, was aware of pulling curtains in her bedroom, and was confident in her training to be a social worker. The friends who were blind from birth did not have any fashion sense because they had never seen fashion, and had to accept the views of others as to what they wore. This is a long way of explaining that there are two ways of looking at this subject. The first is with people who have a disability from birth and the other who have suffered a disability in later life. I think the former have a very difficult time finding a non disabled partner because they only have known having a disability. This means that they have adapted to life as a disabled person and are very guarded in considering a relationship with anybody. This means that is only their parents and siblings who see them or other disabled persons. You do not know how non disabled people act and think. I think you could help this situation by asking your family to bring people of your own age to see you and hopefully have a chat. I feel sure this rarely happens. If this is not possible because you are an only child for example then the only means would be for a disabled singles site where at least you would have a sympathetic ear. Scope is good for well meaning help but is not designed to put you in touch with anybody to have a relationship with. To date I have not found an honest disability site. Any I have found turn out to be frauds. So I think the chances of you finding a partner to be very remote in that situation. The second group who suffer a disability later in life will normally have made friends and with luck will hold onto most of them. These friends will hopefully introduce you to other people where it will be possible to meet an able bodied friend so I see the main problem with those disabled from birth. I can only suggest do try the honest sites and do not tell replies about your problems until you have a chance to establish a rapport. You can this way meet a partner who is able bodied and life is so much easier if you find one.
  • steve39
    steve39 Online Community Member Posts: 53 Connected
    chloeblue04 said:
    Hello 

    I had met 6 boys in my past and fell in love with them but as I grew up I began to realise that none of them are not what they seem to be. They're all friendly but I will find someone else who will respect me for who I am. 

    Finding "the one" to me is a difficult and sad burden to bare for a lonely singleton. 
    hello i know how you feel finding : that one, is not going to happen to everyone in the world , abled  or disabled , the thing is why think that were different to anybody else 

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