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Being independent (long thread)
I am reliant on my parents for most things due to a combination of issues - OCD and autism/social anxiety but I believe the most significant issue is what I call my obsessive thoughts. These are thoughts that I am going to lose control and do something bad on purpose. A couple of examples are while driving, I’m worried I will crash the car, or while using a knife i.e. to cook I’m worried I’m going to hurt myself or others. These are just two examples - the thoughts plague every aspect of my life. The thoughts are less bad when I have someone with me for support but they are absolutely still there and a problem.
I’m reliant on my parents to do certain things, like take me to appointments or the shops or cook for me - that said, for the last few months, I have been doing a bit of cooking with someone there to support me, however I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own.
I’m reliant when going out as I couldn’t manage on my own due to the worries about losing control. There are other reasons like the social anxiety but this is a lesser problem and I believe if I was to tackle these horrible obsessive thoughts once and for all I would be able to start work on the social anxiety.
I’m just wondering about where to start if I want to be able to live on my own one day. Of course one day I will be forced to live alone, so ideally, I want to start doing it while it is still my choice, and, while my parents are still about so they can see that I’ve managed it.
Without sounding arrogant there are some things I am great at and will have no issues doing on my own - managing money being one - in fact I sort of manage the household finances as I am better at it than my parents and am nicknamed the family accountant! Another one is communicating via email or letter - people say I write a really good letter. However the things I can’t do seem to outnumber the things I can do and I need to work on those.
Here is a list of the main things I struggle with doing by myself. There are others but I feel these are the main ones.
- Going out: shops, medical, work, social
- Interacting with others
- Driving (although it might be that I could do without a car)
- Using the phone
- Organising and dealing with tradespeople when things go wrong in the house
I appreciate my independence may be different to a lot of peoples. For example I may not have a massive social circle, I may only go shopping at night or quiet times, I may do without a car, etc. but if I got to a position where I could at least survive on my own I’d be happy.
I think I’ve possibly answered my own question in that I need to start by dealing with these obsessive thoughts, because compared to those, the other issues are manageable. However I’m not sure where to start here. I have spoken to numerous GPs, psychiatrists, psychologists etc. to no avail. My current psychiatrist does not seem too concerned. I am waiting on an appointment with my new GP in the new year and am optimistic about that. Do I just need to persist?
I’m just wondering if anyone has any suggestions?
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