Finding love

h11

I would like to fall in love one day but my mum said it will be hard becuase of my disabilities and that they would need to be a carer to me too.
How would I even start looking for someone who would love me? 
I cant go out independently and also my disability means communicate is hard? 

Ross_Alumni

Thanks for posting @h11, I don't think disability is a barrier to anybody falling in love and meeting somebody they can spend their life with. As disabled people, there are extra challenges to face in life of course, but when you find the right person those challenges won't matter to them and they will happily support you to overcome them, your disability won't impact their feelings towards you.

It can be hard to know how to find somebody, because every one of us are different in terms of what we enjoy doing. I would suggest considering what your hobbies are and looking to meet others who share that hobby. Additionally, you could always access the many dating sites that are out there, one we tend to recommend as an option is the Outsiders Dating and Social Club.

chloeblue04

   

L_Volunteer

Are you ok @chloeblue04? We are here for you if not 

chloeblue04

I'm not ok to be honest with you. 

chloeblue04

Good morning h11 and L_Volunteer
It's difficult to explain my dears but finding love to me is a complicated and conflicting manner. I did not like the idea of being forced in dating and marrying someone for wealth, power, glory, success or for an advantage. If I do meet someone else, I wanted to be for love, mutual respect and kindness. 

I have been in love but it didn't work out. That's all I wish to say.

I wish I could believe in fate of two people from two different worlds, two social backgrounds brought together to form a bond despite all odds, the obstacles and personal values they have to find true happiness but it was only in fairy tales and love stories was it not? 

L_Volunteer

It's cringe but I want to repeat the common phrase "it is okay not to be okay" @chloeblue04. I can completely hear how finding love is a complicated and conflicting manner for you.

It can be tough when you have been in love but it didn't work out. I always believe you will find the right person when the time is right though!

Would anything, in particular, make this feel a little more manageable for you at the moment? 

chloeblue04

I guess so.

bg844

Hi @chloeblue04

Remember, things slowly get better over time. We are a friendly community and are always here to support.

chloeblue04

Thank you.

L_Volunteer

You are welcome @chloeblue04. Just the truth! Please don't hesitate to let us know if we can do anything to support you. We are all here for you 

Alex_Alumni

Hi @chloeblue04 how are you feeling about things today?

chloeblue04

Hello Alex_Scope things have been difficult. Ever since Valentine's day, I got over romance and dating believing that I can never love another man. I even got over my best friend who had a crush on me.

Four years ago, I secretly had a crush on someone from work: I couldn't stop thinking and dreaming about him I want to get him out of my head!

The question on my mind is "Is he a friend or love interest?" "Ally or lover?" my secret answer to that is "I might love him...… but he respects me as a friend and I want to respect him as a friend". 

Love is a complicated, conflicting emotion- a fleeting feeling of frivolities. One might say that falling in love takes time and patience instead of rushing into things and jumping into conclusions one must take things slow and steady. 

 I got over my 6 secret crushes in my past, I listen to songs such as "Shout out to my ex" by Little Mix, "I'll never fall in love again" by Dionne Warwick, "What's love got to do with it?" by Tina Turner on YouTube music. 

I wasn't ready to admit my feelings to my platonic pal/ secret crush I am scared because if my mum finds out, she'll be angry with me. 

What must I do? 

Help me 

From Chloe

Steve_in_The_City

@chloeblue04 There are many ways to be in love and love is already surrounding you in strange and mysterious ways. Never doubt it. Here is a little song for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rd8VktT8xY&list=RDtprURvLFSjE&index=2

Steve_in_The_City

@chloeblue04 So dream your dreams, because dreams really do come true. Somewhere around the corner the perfect fellah is waiting for you. You may have to cross a lot of corners, but believe me you will get there in the end!

Alex_Alumni

Hello @chloeblue04 I'm sorry to hear things have been difficult since valentine's day for you. 

Are you still in touch with your work friend now?  

chloeblue04

Hello Alex_Scope Am I still in touch with my work friend? Yes I am. I'm not supposed to mention his name in front of my mother because if she finds out she'll get angry and she'll think that I'm becoming obsessed with him and by that rule it means I have to protect him from my mother, pretend it did not happen and be quiet about it no matter what. 

Anyway last Thursday I bought him Reese's Easter egg and mini Reese's Easter egg before I went to work. Frightened and guilty, I didn't say a word and when one of my assistant manager asked me I didn't reply out of cowardice. 

I cheered myself up by interacting with my younger colleagues to open myself up until I was occupied with my tasks. 

That's what happened. 

Thank you for understanding

From Chloe

Hannah_Alumni

Sorry to hear you had to work over Easter, did you manage any of the holiday days off? Did you get nice weather where you are? 

chloeblue04

Yes

L_Volunteer

@chloeblue04 - Glad to hear this. How are you feeling about everything at the moment? 

@hotstuff - Hey! How are you at the moment? 

chloeblue04

Hi last Saturday I gave my platonic pal/ secret crush advice on revising GCSE Mathematics to assist him. I want him to succeed like he did with GCSE English last year and hopefully he will receive good grades.