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Helo. I'm a single parent of an 8yr old girl with ADHD and autism. Struggling to get support

samik51

Helios new on here I'm a single parent off 8yr old girl who has adhd and autism I'm struggling with getting support.

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SueHeath

Hello @samik51
Welcome to the group.
I am sorry to hear your news, i am sure when our other friends wake up someone will chat to you about your post.

In the mean time have a look around the site, i like to look at categories and recent discussions, look forward to seeing you around.

Alex_Alumni

Hello @samik51 and welcome to the community

Thanks for sharing a bit about yourself and your daughter, and for reaching out. I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling to get support.

I know it can be hard to talk about, but what sort of things do you think would help support you the most? Do you mean at home or in school, or both?

Can I ask how much support are you getting from your GP at the moment?

Scope can offer support through its Family Services. It might be helpful to have a look at Parents Connect or Navigate to help with emotional support.

IPSEA is a really great organisation that can help support your daughter in school, especially with Education, Health and Care Plans (EHCP's).

It might also be worth looking into referring yourself for a needs assessment to see if you would be able to access any practical care support if you need it.

If there's anything you feel we can help further, or anything we've missed, please let us know

Alex

samik51

Helo I'm not getting no were with my childs school keeps sending me around and around in circle with her adhd and autism and other issues ive been ringing various places too get help for my child now got another letter too ask school too re refer my child to camhs shes good at school and a masker and now school don't think she has anything wrong with her I've tried to explain shes a masker and asked them. Too down assement I havent had no support no nothing I'm a single parent with own illnesses aswell .to deal witch I don't get no support off I get no breaks I'm alone with a child that take all my time and strength off me shes with me 247 cnt even go no were unless shes with me.im fed with going around in circles with school.

SueHeath

Oh @samik51 i really feel for you this sounds so frustrating do you have any friends or family that live near you as you sound like your trying to cope with every thing on your own.

Tori_Scope

That sounds really tough @samik51

It can be especially difficult to access support when the school aren't being particularly supportive. Have you looked at the link to IPSEA that Alex posted above? They should hopefully be able to offer you some expert advice to support you in your next steps. Does the school have a Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCo) that you could speak to?

now got another letter too ask school too re refer my child to camhs

Do you mind me asking who this letter was from? Is her GP involved?

It does sound as though you have a lot on your plate with her at home, too. Have you taken a look at the link Alex provided for a self-referral to your local authority's social care team? They may be able to identify whether there's any additional support either you or your daughter could access to make things more manageable for you both.

samik51

Not sure what link you are on abou? And letter in post was off nureo development assement unit saying school need to fill it in and send more information in I gave it in yesterday but no response as my child got sent home today she was sick as for gp hes not bothered saying they cnt do referrals to camhs so it's a marigold around.

samik51

And sue no I don't have friends or family I'm used to being alone I've been surviving with everything on my own I do have an older daughter but shes a busyy adult nurse and has a baby boy and busy mum and wife I don't like asking any one for help I have to think positive my child deserves to be happy and get the best help she needs it's very sad for her aswell as me having to do everything by myself I've no one no more family in Lancashire hardly visit or call since my mum and dad died.

SueHeath

Your not on your own now @samik51 were all here for you'
If you scroll up to Alex-scope post any think you see in blue, those are the links that Tori was on about darling.
It will take you to the webb or scopes information. Just try it you will be suprised what help and advise is out there.
Hope your daughter is better today and your okay.

L_Volunteer

Hello @samik51

Thanks for reaching out to us and keeping us updated. It sounds like you are experiencing a really difficult time at the moment but trying to prioritise your daughter.

You have done such a great job in letting us know that you would like some more support. In an ideal world, what would support moving forwards look like for you?

We are here for you if you would like to share more with us

Tori_Scope

Yes, the links are a different colour, sorry if I wasn't clear @samik51

Here are the links Alex posted:

I'm sorry that it's all been such a source of stress for you. It's strange that the GP said they can't refer to CAMHS, as my understand was that they can. I hope that the school provide the further information needed. Do you know who in the school is responsible for providing that, so that you can chase them if needed?

Though I understand it can be difficult to ask for help, it's important that you do so when needed.

L_Volunteer

Just popping in here to say it would probably be the SEN(D)CO's responsibility in school @samik51. If not, it will likely be an external educational psychologist brought into the school. How are things with you today? I hope you are well. Please remember we are all here for you though if you need anything

samik51

Not well and worid gona pass out and kid at school I have not been myself for a while its one problem after another I've got the form from neuro development the school sen lady rang yesterday saying could you come in b4 u pick child up sign from then she can send it back to camhs I'm poorly myself in pain and think ive caught the bug hope I can get too school collect my child omg its so hard when you have nobody else to help or turn too but thanks to everyone on here for the kind messages.

samik51

Now child school sending me loopy I've asked for another assessment so fingers crossed praying for better days on verge of a break down myself ive got mental health problems I've been in pain poorly few days cnt win. Top bill got nobody else help ain't feeling well. Off school soon please pray I make it back safe with my child shes at art group today so going late now I've caught the bug and poorly

samik51

Yeh gp said they cnt help with referral too camhs school nurse has too do it and Sen lady sending a new referral out and ome thet came in post she filled it in yesterday and my child was off school so I have to go sign it today hopefully they will help fingers crossed xx

samik51

Yeh waiting for an emergency appointment and now need to go pick my child up from art group as she likes going after school hope things get better and thankyou signing out now .

L_Volunteer

Thanks for your response @samik51. I am hearing that things are particularly difficult for you at the moment, especially trying to juggle everything with your own health concerns too.

It sounds like an extra pair of hands would be the ideal type of support. Does your child’s school provide family support officers or anyone like that? Sometimes they can be wonderful or childminders etc. It is understandable if you would prefer not to take these routes but they are available to you.

Would you like to talk to us about your own mental health and whether you feel you have support in place for this? I hope things become more manageable and you start to feel better soon.

Sending you hugs and the rest you need and deserve 😊

Ross_Alumni

samik51 said:

Not well and worid gona pass out and kid at school I have not been myself for a while its one problem after another

I'm sorry to hear that you feel so unwell, did you get the emergency appointment with your GP? If you do continue to feel unwell always remember that you can contact 111 if needed to get some non-urgent medical advice. It's a good option to have for those times when you can't access your GP.

I'm glad that the support from other community members has been helpful for you, it can be really important to know that you have the support of a group of people such as those on this community. It can feel like a lonely world sometimes, so do ensure you keep using the community if you want to interact.

samik51 said:

Now child school sending me loopy I've asked for another assessment so fingers crossed praying for better days on verge of a break down myself ive got mental health problems

Regarding your mental health, do you receive any support to manage it? Is your GP aware of how things have been making you feel? Do ensure that you access help if you feel as though you are struggling to manage your mental health, you can always access support services such as Samaritans on 116 123 or the various information pages on the Mind website like this one about coping techniques.

samik51 said:

Yeh gp said they cnt help with referral too camhs school nurse has too do it and Sen lady sending a new referral out and ome thet came in post she filled it in yesterday and my child was off school so I have to go sign it today hopefully they will help fingers crossed xx

It's a shame that the GP couldn't fill out the form but I'm glad that the nurse has been able to support with it. Fingers crossed you were able to get it signed and some help can be put in place for you and your child.

samik51

Thanks for kind messages yes gp on call rang when I was waiting for child at school he didn't help much just said too keep taken cramp tablets I've got IBS as for childs school no I don't get no help no support off nobody else or gp I manage my m.h buy doing hobbies like my knitting now and patchwork I do try think positive I'm used to been a loner I've got child help for her assement I was given a form too complete myself to send too camhs school nurse or send lacy going send it off so that's one worry less.

L_Volunteer

Hey @samik51

Thanks for your response and for keeping us in the loop. Kindness is the very least you deserve.

I am sorry to hear your GP was not helpful. How do you feel about the cramp tablets?

It also sounds like things are difficult for you due to the lack of help you are receiving - both personally and from your child's school. What would an ideal world of support look like for you currently?

I am really proud of you for managing to find ways to cope with your mental health. I know it can be difficult to do the things you enjoy and need to do when you are struggling with your mental health. It sounds like you are doing a fabulous job with this though.

Nevertheless, I recognise that trying to think positively is not as simple as turning on a switch and coping. I want you to know that it is okay to struggle sometimes and it is ok to reach out for support as and when you need it.

I hear you when you say you are used to being a loner. Would you like to tell us more about what being a loner looks like for you? We are here for you if you would like to share more with us.

Also, you are doing an amazing job at getting your child help for her assessment. It can't be easy at any time but especially not when you are also struggling yourself. I just want to recognise how much effort you have clearly put in and appreciate your progress with this. How are you finding the form you need to fill-in? It sounds like sending it off will be a relief for you.

Please keep us up to date if you feel comfortable doing so, we are all here for you

samik51

Hi I'm not well been in pain all doc says nothing major I got thr forms filled in off school and I had to do one form for self with signatures and the school sen lady filled rest and gave me a massive report and audit copy too take home to read about my childs behaviour at school and other concerns she was upset yesterday eve when I asked her some questions about her behaviour at school she got so angry and upset made me feel bad then too top bill the early help report wrote stuff about me that isn't true and I was more upset they don't even know nothing about me Same with pip assessment on way got refused a few years ago now worried same will happen.