Helo. I'm a single parent of an 8yr old girl with ADHD and autism. Struggling to get support

samik51

Helios new on here  I'm a single parent off 8yr old girl  who has  adhd and autism  I'm struggling with  getting support.

SueHeath

Hello @samik51
Welcome to the group.
I am sorry to hear your news, i am sure when our other friends wake up someone will chat to you about your post.

In the mean time have a look around the site, i like to look at categories and recent discussions, look forward to seeing you around.

Alex_Alumni

Hello @samik51 and welcome to the community Thanks for sharing a bit about yourself and your daughter, and for reaching out. I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling to get support.

I know it can be hard to talk about, but what sort of things do you think would help support you the most? Do you mean at home or in school, or both?

Can I ask how much support are you getting from your GP at the moment? 

Scope can offer support through its Family Services. It might be helpful to have a look at Parents Connect or Navigate to help with emotional support.

IPSEA is a really great organisation that can help support your daughter in school, especially with Education, Health and Care Plans (EHCP's).

It might also be worth looking into referring yourself for a needs assessment to see if you would be able to access any practical care support if you need it. 

If there's anything you feel we can help further, or anything we've missed, please let us know  

Alex

samik51

Helo  I'm  not   getting  no were  with   my childs  school  keeps  sending  me  around  and  around  in circle  with   her  adhd and autism  and  other   issues   ive   been  ringing  various   places  too get  help  for  my child  now  got  another  letter  too  ask  school  too  re  refer  my child to camhs  shes  good  at school   and  a  masker    and    now  school  don't  think she  has  anything  wrong   with  her  I've   tried  to  explain  shes  a  masker    and  asked  them.  Too   down assement  I havent  had no support no nothing   I'm  a  single parent  with  own  illnesses  aswell  .to deal  witch  I don't  get no support off  I get no  breaks   I'm   alone  with a child  that  take  all my  time   and  strength  off me  shes  with  me  247 cnt  even  go no  were  unless shes  with me.im  fed   with  going  around  in circles  with  school.

SueHeath

Oh @samik51 i really feel for you this sounds so frustrating do you have any friends or family that live near you as you sound like your trying to cope with every thing on your own.

Tori_Scope

That sounds really tough @samik51 It can be especially difficult to access support when the school aren't being particularly supportive. Have you looked at the link to IPSEA that Alex posted above? They should hopefully be able to offer you some expert advice to support you in your next steps. Does the school have a Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCo) that you could speak to? 

now  got  another  letter  too  ask  school  too  re  refer  my child to camhs

Do you mind me asking who this letter was from? Is her GP involved?

It does sound as though you have a lot on your plate with her at home, too. Have you taken a look at the link Alex provided for a self-referral to your local authority's social care team? They may be able to identify whether there's any additional support either you or your daughter could access to make things more manageable for you both.

samik51

Not sure  what link you are on abou? And  letter  in post was off nureo development assement  unit saying school need to fill  it in and send more information  in I gave it in yesterday but no response as my child got  sent home today she was sick  as for gp hes not bothered saying they cnt do referrals to camhs  so it's a marigold around.

samik51

And sue no I don't have friends or family  I'm used to  being alone  I've been surviving  with everything on my own I do have an older daughter  but shes a busyy adult nurse and  has  a baby  boy and busy mum and wife  I don't  like asking any one for help I have to  think positive  my child deserves to  be happy  and get the  best  help she needs it's very sad for her aswell as me having   to do everything by myself  I've no one no more  family in Lancashire hardly visit  or call since my mum and dad died.

SueHeath

Your not on your own now @samik51 were all here for you'
If you scroll up to Alex-scope post any think you see in blue, those are the links that Tori was on about darling.
It will take you to the webb or scopes information. Just try it you will be suprised what help and advise is out there.
Hope your daughter is better today and your okay.

L_Volunteer

Hello @samik51

Thanks for reaching out to us and keeping us updated. It sounds like you are experiencing a really difficult time at the moment but trying to prioritise your daughter.

You have done such a great job in letting us know that you would like some more support. In an ideal world, what would support moving forwards look like for you?

We are here for you if you would like to share more with us 

Tori_Scope

Yes, the links are a different colour, sorry if I wasn't clear @samik51 Here are the links Alex posted:

• IPSEA
• Parents Connect
• Navigate
• Referring yourself for a needs assessment 

I'm sorry that it's all been such a source of stress for you. It's strange that the GP said they can't refer to CAMHS, as my understand was that they can. I hope that the school provide the further information needed. Do you know who in the school is responsible for providing that, so that you can chase them if needed? 

Though I understand it can be difficult to ask for help, it's important that you do so when needed.

L_Volunteer

Just popping in here to say it would probably be the SEN(D)CO's responsibility in school @samik51. If not, it will likely be an external educational psychologist brought into the school. How are things with you today? I hope you are well. Please remember we are all here for you though if you need anything 

samik51

Not well  and   worid   gona  pass  out and  kid  at school  I have   not been  myself   for   a  while   its  one  problem  after  another   I've  got  the     form    from  neuro  development  the school  sen lady    rang   yesterday  saying  could  you  come  in b4  u pick  child  up  sign  from  then  she  can  send   it  back  to  camhs  I'm  poorly  myself  in  pain  and  think  ive  caught  the  bug   hope   I can  get  too school  collect my   child  omg  its  so  hard     when  you  have nobody  else  to  help  or  turn  too but  thanks   to  everyone  on here  for  the kind  messages.

samik51

 Now  child  school  sending  me loopy  I've  asked   for  another  assessment so   fingers  crossed  praying  for  better days   on   verge  of  a  break  down  myself  ive got  mental  health  problems  I've  been  in  pain   poorly  few  days    cnt  win. Top   bill   got   nobody  else  help  ain't  feeling  well. Off  school  soon  please  pray  I make  it  back  safe  with  my  child  shes  at art  group  today  so  going  late  now I've  caught  the  bug  and  poorly 

samik51

Yeh  gp  said   they  cnt  help   with   referral  too camhs  school  nurse  has  too do   it  and  Sen  lady   sending  a new  referral  out   and  ome thet  came  in  post she   filled  it  in   yesterday and  my child  was  off school  so  I have  to  go sign  it today  hopefully  they  will help    fingers  crossed  xx 

samik51

Yeh  waiting  for an  emergency  appointment   and now need  to  go    pick  my  child  up from  art  group as she  likes  going after  school hope  things  get  better  and   thankyou signing  out  now .

L_Volunteer

Thanks for your response @samik51. I am hearing that things are particularly difficult for you at the moment, especially trying to juggle everything with your own health concerns too.

It sounds like an extra pair of hands would be the ideal type of support. Does your child’s school provide family support officers or anyone like that? Sometimes they can be wonderful or childminders etc. It is understandable if you would prefer not to take these routes but they are available to you.

Would you like to talk to us about your own mental health and whether you feel you have support in place for this? I hope things become more manageable and you start to feel better soon.

Sending you hugs and the rest you need and deserve 😊

Ross_Alumni

samik51 said:

Not well  and   worid   gona  pass  out and  kid  at school  I have   not been  myself   for   a  while   its  one  problem  after  another       

I'm sorry to hear that you feel so unwell, did you get the emergency appointment with your GP? If you do continue to feel unwell always remember that you can contact 111 if needed to get some non-urgent medical advice. It's a good option to have for those times when you can't access your GP.

I'm glad that the support from other community members has been helpful for you, it can be really important to know that you have the support of a group of people such as those on this community. It can feel like a lonely world sometimes, so do ensure you keep using the community if you want to interact.

samik51 said:

 Now  child  school  sending  me loopy  I've  asked   for  another  assessment so   fingers  crossed  praying  for  better days   on   verge  of  a  break  down  myself  ive got  mental  health  problems   

Regarding your mental health, do you receive any support to manage it? Is your GP aware of how things have been making you feel? Do ensure that you access help  if you feel as though you are struggling to manage your mental health, you can always access support services such as Samaritans on 116 123 or the various information pages on the Mind website like this one about coping techniques.

samik51 said:

Yeh  gp  said   they  cnt  help   with   referral  too camhs  school  nurse  has  too do   it  and  Sen  lady   sending  a new  referral  out   and  ome thet  came  in  post she   filled  it  in   yesterday and  my child  was  off school  so  I have  to  go sign  it today  hopefully  they  will help    fingers  crossed  xx 

It's a shame that the GP couldn't fill out the form but I'm glad that the nurse has been able to support with it. Fingers crossed you were able to get it signed and some help can be put in place for you and your child.

samik51

Thanks  for kind messages  yes gp  on call rang when I was waiting for  child at school  he didn't help much  just said  too keep taken cramp  tablets  I've got IBS  as for childs school  no  I don't  get  no help  no support off nobody else  or gp I manage my m.h buy doing  hobbies   like my knitting now  and  patchwork  I do try  think positive I'm used  to  been a  loner  I've got child help for her assement  I was given a  form  too complete  myself  to send  too camhs  school  nurse  or send  lacy  going  send it off so  that's  one worry less.

L_Volunteer

Hey @samik51

Thanks for your response and for keeping us in the loop. Kindness is the very least you deserve.

I am sorry to hear your GP was not helpful. How do you feel about the cramp tablets? 

It also sounds like things are difficult for you due to the lack of help you are receiving - both personally and from your child's school. What would an ideal world of support look like for you currently?

I am really proud of you for managing to find ways to cope with your mental health. I know it can be difficult to do the things you enjoy and need to do when you are struggling with your mental health. It sounds like you are doing a fabulous job with this though. 

Nevertheless, I recognise that trying to think positively is not as simple as turning on a switch and coping. I want you to know that it is okay to struggle sometimes and it is ok to reach out for support as and when you need it. 

I hear you when you say you are used to being a loner. Would you like to tell us more about what being a loner looks like for you? We are here for you if you would like to share more with us. 

Also, you are doing an amazing job at getting your child help for her assessment. It can't be easy at any time but especially not when you are also struggling yourself. I just want to recognise how much effort you have clearly put in and appreciate your progress with this. How are you finding the form you need to fill-in? It sounds like sending it off will be a relief for you.

Please keep us up to date if you feel comfortable doing so, we are all here for you 

samik51

Hi  I'm  not  well  been  in  pain  all doc  says  nothing  major   I  got  thr forms  filled  in  off school  and  I had  to  do one  form  for self    with  signatures   and  the  school  sen  lady   filled  rest  and  gave   me  a  massive  report  and  audit   copy   too take  home  to read   about  my  childs   behaviour  at school and  other  concerns  she  was upset  yesterday  eve   when  I asked  her  some  questions  about  her behaviour  at school  she  got  so angry  and  upset  made  me  feel  bad  then  too  top  bill   the  early  help  report  wrote  stuff  about  me  that  isn't  true  and  I was  more  upset   they  don't  even  know  nothing  about me  Same   with  pip  assessment  on  way   got  refused   a few years  ago  now  worried  same   will  happen.