How do you look after your mental health?

CoffeeFirst

Any tips most welcome.

Thank you 

woodbine

If only I had the answer to that one, my personal MH is at a recent all time low despite being on meds for it.
I always tell myself things will get better and so far they always have.

leeCal

I use some basic tenets of Buddhism, too many to go into here apart from two or three concepts. 
Firstly impermanence; all things must pass, they always do but further all lives pass and all things fade away. Sounds a bit depressing? Not really, it means that today’s troubles are temporary, it also implies that we should make the most of the present. Impermanence also allows for growth and change, without impermanence there would be no change/development/improvement. Impermanence, if taken seriously, releases us from the burden of the hedonic treadmill. We in the West need to comply to norms in various ways but impermanence is a safety valve, we play the game and knowing it’s a game releases the pressure, forces us to not take life so seriously. 

Secondly: living in the present moment is not only important but inevitable! We can’t live in the past or the future, the present moment is all we have. So why worry about tomorrow, if we can’t do anything about something why worry, if we can do something about it then also why worry. Try living in the present moment for ten minutes and you’ll find it a refreshing change. Use your senses to anchor you to the present moment, what can you hear, feel, smell, touch or taste, right now, this second? 

Thirdly; dependent arising. Everything in the universe, including us, depends on everything else for its existence. For further reading see https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pratītyasamutpāda

This is good news when it comes to negative thinking, since the next thought depends on the previous, it means that we can stop or halt a series of negative thoughts and escape from a temporary negative cycle. This interdependence also means that we need each other in so many ways. Dependent arising is a major cornerstone of Buddhism and is quite profound, realising that all things everywhere are interconnected. 

Taking things further we can look at I being an illusion. Look inside and there is no independent I in existence. There exists body and mind and a personality but no enduring I in its own right. The latter is of course a rather controversial idea but As is said ‘I want happiness’ take away I, take away want and you have left ...happiness. 
Notice that none of these comments entails belief, religious or otherwise. They are just sound psychologically logical ideas, or at least I hope I have explained them in brief as such. 

I would highly recommend reading a book entitled ‘How to see yourself as you really are’ by the Dalai Lama, and reading it several times until you really get it. Ideas are easily read but not so easily concretely realised, to really help with mental health the ideas need to be interpreted and reiterated in your own words. They need to be felt not simply read. 

chiarieds

Altho this thread is about mental health, it also also help in countering physical pain (& some of our members have both mental & physical health problems). Being in the present moment, focusing just on the present, can also be more than a mere distraction from pain. It's one of several things I use to help me.....yesterday is gone, & we can't know the future, so any tools that help concentrate on the present are good.

I have an interest in philosophy, psychology & comparative religions; if you look at different religions there are more similarities than dissimilarities. I'm also interested in Buddhism, & read books by the current Dalai Lama; in my mind the most amazing person.

Thank you for the 'dependence' & book links @leeCal - you're ahead of me with Buddhism, & again appreciate your input. I would agree that these concepts are not centred around a particular belief, but just make a lot of sense from a philosophy/psychological background too, & importantly really can help.

woodbine

Not wishing to get into an argument about religion BUT from where I'm sitting they all seem to have one thing in common, at some point they have all been responsible in one way or another for war (s).

Having said that I do have time for some religious leaders, e.g the current Pope is one of the better ones, and Justin Welby isn't bad as ABC.

Also have lots of time for the Salvation Army and the work they do in our communities it's just a shame they are homophobic.

leeCal

Buddhists practise non violence, I can’t think of any war involving them but I think often religion is a convenient vehicle for a little angry posturing, if not, as you say , war itself caused by fanaticism @woodbine. I can’t help thinking that such fanatics would cause wars anyway despite their religion. 

Interestingly just googling the question ‘how many wars caused by religion ‘ reveals 
“According to the Encyclopedia of Wars, out of all 1,763 known/recorded historical conflicts, 121, or 6.87%, had religion as their primary cause.”

chiarieds

Unfortunately many wars have been based on religion, I can't disagree. I would hope that's not their commonality tho.

Re: the Salvation Army, I support them with a small donation each month, & am concerned you say they're homophobic. I know you'll probably not like this, but I would appreciate a link if you could, as this shocks me.

CoffeeFirst

@Leecal; Thanks Lee this is helpful. When I feel like this I like be reminded of other things to take my mind off how I’m feeling.

CoffeeFirst

@chiarieds; I too understand the Salvation Army are homophobic but they do good work. It shocked and disappointed me too, not nice when I heard this.

CoffeeFirst

@Woodbine; Pleased to hear things always feel better. Perhaps medication is something I need to consider for myself, just feel so exhausted to actually work towards that point as yet.

bexter73

I look after my mental health in a few ways. Firstly as someone else has mentioned I think, it’s important for me to not think too far ahead, just going day by day helps me not feel scared or overwhelmed. 

Good old vitamin D, a dose of sunshine. I have mobility issues now but I try and even just sit in my garden for a bit when the suns out. This lifts my mood. 

If I’m stressed or anxious I sew. I cross stitch lol. There’s something about the repetitiveness that I find helps me. I get very immersed in it. 

I have a cat, he’s a pain in the bum but he also is a great comfort. 

Music! I loveeee music. 

And lastly talking to someone about your feelings. I think it just really helps me to process my thoughts when I say them out loud. 

woodbine

chiarieds said:

Unfortunately many wars have been based on religion, I can't disagree. I would hope that's not their commonality tho.

Re: the Salvation Army, I support them with a small donation each month, & am concerned you say they're homophobic. I know you'll probably not like this, but I would appreciate a link if you could, as this shocks me.

Not that long ago Paul O'Grady did a week of programmes "working with" the Salvation Army at the lend of the last day he met with the head of the S.A and asked if he could join and was told no because you are gay, I doubt that attitude has changed.
from Wiki;

The Bible teaches that God's intention for humankind is that society should be ordered on the basis of lifelong, legally sanctioned heterosexual unions. ... A disposition towards homosexuality is not in itself blameworthy nor is the disposition seen as rectifiable at will. ... Homosexual practice however, is, in the light of Scripture, clearly unacceptable. Such activity is chosen behaviour and is thus a matter of the will. It is therefore able to be directed or restrained in the same way heterosexual urges are controlled. Homosexual practice would render any person ineligible for full membership (soldiership) in the Army.[36]

L_Volunteer

I would say the one tip I follow is to make sure I reflect on how I feel each day. I can then use that to plan self-care based on how I am during the day.

Also, I just wanted to check in on you @CoffeeFirst. How are you today? We are here for you if you would like to share more with us 

CoffeeFirst

@ bexter73 &  L_Volunteer; Thank you for your replies.

I think I am guilty of thinking too far ahead, probably why I get down a bit and low.

I’ve got two dogs so have been out and about with them today. It’s been a nice day weather wise so a good opportunity to get out. 

I love listening to music too..couldn’t live without it! 

leeCal

Physical exercise releases endorphins, the feelgood chemicals, so any exercise is good for your mental health. Walking is good but any physical activity can help. 

L_Volunteer

You are welcome @CoffeeFirst. A reply is the very least you deserve. Thank you for your response as well. 

I hope you enjoyed your dog walk! What type of bread are your dogs? Just out of interest.

Also, I hear that you love listening to music. Is there a particular type of music you enjoy listening to the most?

Keep plodding forwards. What usually helps you to think in the here and now - especially when thinking too far head means you get down a bit and low?

Take care for now and I will look forward to hopefully hearing from you again soon 

And thank you @leeCal for sharing your tips. Is exercise something you find personally beneficial? 

leeCal

After being sedentary for many years I have started to walk a little lately and yes, it helps with my mental health. Seeing others out and about can be a little scary but they also occupy my mind and are a distraction from myself. 

Years ago ago I used to do weightlifting as part of my fitness regime and I remember how that helped with my mental health. That was before I became ill though. 

Teddybear12

I walk quite a lot having a little dog, and during the pandemic used to see lots of people I had not seen before. Some walking a dog some walking on their own. I would smile and say good morning and carry on with my walk. Walking gets you out of the house and you can look at people's gardens and have some fresh air and exercise. It could be that other people are also a little scared and trying to help their MH.  So well done and keep walking. @leeCal

CoffeeFirst

@LVolunteer; I’ve got a pug cross and a French bulldog, both boys. 

I really do enjoy all sorts in music, recently Ed Sheehan. 

Its at night when my mood changes, get tired and start thinking and worrying. I feel so low. At weekends I like to walk. 

CoffeeFirst

@leeCal and @Teddybear12 - that’s good to know you both feel better after walking/exercise. I agree, other people do seem to do the same to help with their MH.

leeCal

Hi @CoffeeFirst,  I used to have a worse time of things at night but I found that by repeating a simple mantra I found some relief. My mantra was ‘right here, right now, I’m fine’. I looked around me and confirmed that right now I was comfortable, fed, fine and safe actually. There was really no need for my anxiety and worry. I also know that there will always be challenges tomorrow but I also know that I have coped to date with all previous challenges so why not tomorrow’s.

Some psychologists believe that the root of all our fears and anxieties stems from a fear of death. Now that’s not simply physical death but also ego death, the death of self, of what we call I. When looking around me I could see there was no risk of death, neither physically nor of ego death. The same thing can occur outside of your home, though personally I find i must strongly reaffirm my mantra when I’m out, the anxiety I feel is a fear of death of a kind. Exactly the same fear occurs in social situations, this is when we can most fear death or harm to our ego of course. What might someone say to me? What might someone think of me? Etc and how my ego will shrivel if I’m publicly humiliated? Yet how often do these things actually happen? The secret is we all have the same underlying fear. 

I find knowing these things helps reinforce the utility of my mantra. And so how do I choose to live, in a shadow land where I cannot thrive or in the light where I confront my underlying fear and champion my own cause.

forgive the long post. 🙂