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Child DLA help please- my ex partner continues to withhold DLA funding from me

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Myrtosbeach
Myrtosbeach Community member Posts: 4 Listener

Hello I'm really looking for some help and advice ..
We are a family with 2 twin daughters with complex needs who are 6, and a son who is being tested currently for autism who is 10.
My partner and I have recently secured a lives with order for all 3 , on a 50/50 basis. My ex wife and I are separated so share care , I have had contact since the girls we born, but due to My ex wife and I ending our relationship it was been so hard to get consistency, hence the court order I applied for , funded , and secured .
Unfortunately that's where the sharing ends , my ex partner ( we both hold parental responsibility) has and continues to withhold the DlA funding from me , the girls receive the higher rate , carers allowance , care component etc , EACH . Meaning they both qualify for a mobility car ( my ex has 2 , one for her and one for her parents to use ) I've tried the dwp , local authorities, citizens advice but no one can help me secure ONE of the claims for the girls, I'm at a loss as to where to turn , the difference the funds would make are staggering for the lives of my children, even as Simply as being about to go out as a family which we can't at the moment as my small car won't accommodate us all .
Any help or advice on where to trun would be very appreciated. 

Comments

  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,650 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @Myrtosbeach

    Wishing you a warm welcome to the community, I hope you are well and thanks for letting us know about your situation.

    It's a shame that none of the places you have approached so far have been able to help you. Have you tried filling your postcode into somewhere like Advice local?

    I have moved your thread over to our benefits and financial support category, and tagged it as unanswered.

     

    This is a very supportive and welcoming site to be a part of so I’m hopeful that you’ll find it to be a positive outlet. Feel free to have a look around and get involved wherever you’d like 😊 I have included below a few of the pages I’d recommend having a look through to get used to things:

    • The virtual coffee lounge which is one of our categories, in which we play games and talk about general subjects such as hobbies and interests
    • The recent discussions page, which shows an overview of everything happening across the community
    • The categories page, which shows a full list of discussion groups on the community

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  • Sue_Alumni
    Sue_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 485 Pioneering
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    Good morning @Myrtosbeach,

    This situation seems very unfair but unfortunately, as I understand it, there is no provision in the DLA regulations to provide for the DLA payable to a parent on behalf of a child to be split where parents have shared responsibility. 

    I am puzzled by your comment when you infer that your ex- partner is receiving two lots of Carers Allowance in respect of the girls. The rules provide that you can only get only one award of Carers Allowance even if you care for more than one person. Maybe a starting point is for you to claim Carers Allowance in respect of one daughter and your ex in respect of the other. Going forward, you may have  tried already, but perhaps it's worth exploring whether it's possible 
    to reach an agreement through mediation if you can. 

    You can find out more about how mediation works in this family mediation leaflet on GOV.UK.

    Find your nearest family mediator on the Family Mediation Council website

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  • Myrtosbeach
    Myrtosbeach Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    Thanks sue , but as she is withholding the dla , this includes the reference number for each girl,  so I can't claim that way ! The same goes fir a blue badge etc.. mediation has failed 6 times , hence the court order I secured , literally don't know who who to turn to x
  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 57,159 Disability Gamechanger
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    I’m not aware of needing any reference number to claim carers allowance for looking after someone. If you work and earn more than £132 per week, you won’t be able to claim it.
    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
  • Myrtosbeach
    Myrtosbeach Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    Yeah we both work full time as no choice , so that's a no go anyway,  it's more the dla and mobility that whoso really help us out as a family x
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,995 Disability Gamechanger
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    I’m not aware of needing any reference number to claim carers allowance for looking after someone. If you work and earn more than £132 per week, you won’t be able to claim it.
    Aren't you asked for the NI of the person you're caring for? 
  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 57,159 Disability Gamechanger
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    I’m not aware of needing any reference number to claim carers allowance for looking after someone. If you work and earn more than £132 per week, you won’t be able to claim it.
    Aren't you asked for the NI of the person you're caring for? 

    No, not in this case because the person is a child and you don't have a NI number until just before your 16th birthday.
    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,995 Disability Gamechanger
    edited July 2022
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    I thought that when you claim DLA for a child they're told their NI number as it becomes part of the DLA claim? And that you're allocated a NI when child benefit is claimed you'r ejust not told it until you're 16. 

    Edit: Just found this:
    "When Child Benefit is awarded a National Insurance Number is also allocated by HMRC. Parents are unaware that this has happened and the Child is normally notified of their NINO on their 16th Birthday.

    New DLA Child Claims are therefore received without a national Insurance number. When such a claim is received, a search is made of the Customer Information System (CIS) using the child’s personal details, ie name, date of birth, address, parents personal details etc. to identify the allocated national insurance number. This is then used as the ‘reference number’ for the claim The parent is also made aware of the reference number when issued with a notification of receipt of claim and this is used in all correspondence thereafter."
  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 57,159 Disability Gamechanger
    edited July 2022
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    @Biblioklept thank you. You learn something new every day.
    edit to add, I also just realised you need to give the NI of the person (over 16) that claims the disability benefit. Can’t remember doing that when I claimed carers allowance for my daughter but it has been more than 4 years ago and it’s easy to forget.
    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Community member Posts: 4,995 Disability Gamechanger
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    I learn so much from you and calcotti every single day, your knowledge is immense! <3
  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 57,159 Disability Gamechanger
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    I learn so much from you and calcotti every single day, your knowledge is immense! <3
    Thank you so much for those kind words!! 
    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
  • Myrtosbeach
    Myrtosbeach Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    Thanks guys , but again she is withholding any reference numbers or any info on the claim from me 
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