Child DLA help please- my ex partner continues to withhold DLA funding from me

Myrtosbeach · July 2022

Hello I'm really looking for some help and advice ..

We are a family with 2 twin daughters with complex needs who are 6, and a son who is being tested currently for autism who is 10.

My partner and I have recently secured a lives with order for all 3 , on a 50/50 basis. My ex wife and I are separated so share care , I have had contact since the girls we born, but due to My ex wife and I ending our relationship it was been so hard to get consistency, hence the court order I applied for , funded , and secured .

Unfortunately that's where the sharing ends , my ex partner ( we both hold parental responsibility) has and continues to withhold the DlA funding from me , the girls receive the higher rate , carers allowance , care component etc , EACH . Meaning they both qualify for a mobility car ( my ex has 2 , one for her and one for her parents to use ) I've tried the dwp , local authorities, citizens advice but no one can help me secure ONE of the claims for the girls, I'm at a loss as to where to turn , the difference the funds would make are staggering for the lives of my children, even as Simply as being about to go out as a family which we can't at the moment as my small car won't accommodate us all .

Any help or advice on where to trun would be very appreciated.

Ross_Alumni · July 2022

Hello @Myrtosbeach

Wishing you a warm welcome to the community, I hope you are well and thanks for letting us know about your situation.

It's a shame that none of the places you have approached so far have been able to help you. Have you tried filling your postcode into somewhere like Advice local?

I have moved your thread over to our benefits and financial support category, and tagged it as unanswered.

This is a very supportive and welcoming site to be a part of so I’m hopeful that you’ll find it to be a positive outlet. Feel free to have a look around and get involved wherever you’d like 😊 I have included below a few of the pages I’d recommend having a look through to get used to things:

The virtual coffee lounge which is one of our categories, in which we play games and talk about general subjects such as hobbies and interests
The recent discussions page, which shows an overview of everything happening across the community
The categories page, which shows a full list of discussion groups on the community

If you have any questions at all then don’t hesitate to ask.

Sue_Alumni · July 2022

Good morning @Myrtosbeach,

This situation seems very unfair but unfortunately, as I understand it, there is no provision in the DLA regulations to provide for the DLA payable to a parent on behalf of a child to be split where parents have shared responsibility.

I am puzzled by your comment when you infer that your ex- partner is receiving two lots of Carers Allowance in respect of the girls. The rules provide that you can only get only one award of Carers Allowance even if you care for more than one person. Maybe a starting point is for you to claim Carers Allowance in respect of one daughter and your ex in respect of the other. Going forward, you may have tried already, but perhaps it's worth exploring whether it's possible to reach an agreement through mediation if you can.

You can find out more about how mediation works in this family mediation leaflet on GOV.UK.

Find your nearest family mediator on the Family Mediation Council website

Myrtosbeach · July 2022

Thanks sue , but as she is withholding the dla , this includes the reference number for each girl, so I can't claim that way ! The same goes fir a blue badge etc.. mediation has failed 6 times , hence the court order I secured , literally don't know who who to turn to x

poppy123456 · July 2022

I’m not aware of needing any reference number to claim carers allowance for looking after someone. If you work and earn more than £132 per week, you won’t be able to claim it.

Myrtosbeach · July 2022

Yeah we both work full time as no choice , so that's a no go anyway, it's more the dla and mobility that whoso really help us out as a family x

poppy123456 · July 2022

Biblioklept said:

poppy123456 said:

I’m not aware of needing any reference number to claim carers allowance for looking after someone. If you work and earn more than £132 per week, you won’t be able to claim it.

Aren't you asked for the NI of the person you're caring for?

No, not in this case because the person is a child and you don't have a NI number until just before your 16th birthday.

poppy123456 · July 2022

@Biblioklept thank you. You learn something new every day.
edit to add, I also just realised you need to give the NI of the person (over 16) that claims the disability benefit. Can’t remember doing that when I claimed carers allowance for my daughter but it has been more than 4 years ago and it’s easy to forget.

poppy123456 · July 2022

Biblioklept said:

I learn so much from you and calcotti every single day, your knowledge is immense!

Thank you so much for those kind words!!

Myrtosbeach · July 2022

Thanks guys , but again she is withholding any reference numbers or any info on the claim from me

alan29morton · July 2

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/93067/child-dla-help-please-my-ex-partner-continues-to-withhold-dla-funding-from-me

You are in the same boat as me. My ex keeps all the UC the kids recieve all the disability allowance and keeps all the mobility allowance and I still have to pay maintenance on top of that and I have the kids 3 night a week. Some how 1 night a week more = the sum off all the disability, child maintenance, mobility and UC. Make that make sense. I get told at every turn - thats just the way it is ! Its not like the childrens disabilities goes away when I have them. I instead get no support and have to pay almost full child mainataince on minimum wage while she works a well paying job. Make that make sense

Child DLA help please- my ex partner continues to withhold DLA funding from me

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