Struggling

pinklady25

Haven't been on so much lately I am struggling with my mental health I feel down and not copeing there is so much going on with my job which started it off and now my boss has changed me to a Sunday and Monday night which means I won't get paid for two weeks I didn't get paid this week because I was off sick  so I am left struggling.

My mums dementia is deteriorating and is getting to me watching my mum disappear the one I could always turn to when I am like this the one who used to tell me it will be ok it will come out in the wash now its me saying it to her she is now the child and I am the adult 

Everything is getting to me I sm not eating I am not sleeping I don't know how to sort it out I realy don't know what to do anymore 

Sandy_123

Hi @pinklady25 sorry to read you are struggling, speak to your manager and explain the situation, hopefully they may help, your uc will increase if or when your wages drop if they do. Speak to your dr also to tell them how you feel mentally, it might help, also use the help lines like samaraitans. 
Sadly with your moms condition and age it will cause deteriation, also can speak to the Dr about that, there may be support groups out there also.
Hopefully you can start sleeping and eating again.

Tori_Scope

Hi @pinklady25 It's good to hear from you, though I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling.

It sounds like things are really tough for you at the moment, and that you've had a lot on your plate. 

I think I recall seeing your post about your employer. Has that situation progressed at all, or been resolved in any way?

As Sandy_123 has said, it could also be worth speaking to your employer to see if they can help out in any way regarding your pay. 

I've never cared for someone with dementia, so I can't pretend to know what you're going through. It sounds incredibly difficult. 

NHS 111 Wales have some information on their website about looking after yourself when you're caring for someone with dementia. I'd encourage you to take a look, and to get in touch with the organisations listed. I've included a quote below:

Ask for help

Family and friends can help in a variety of ways, from giving you a break, even if it's for only an hour, to taking the person with dementia to an activity or memory cafe.
Charities and voluntary organisations provide valuable support and advice on their websites and through their helplines:

• Alzheimer's Society's National Dementia Helpline on 0300 222 1122

• Age Cymru's Advice Line on 08000 223 444 (open between 9am and 5pm, Monday - Friday)

• Independent Age on 0800 319 6789

• Dementia UK Admiral Nurse Dementia helpline on 0800 888 6678

• Carers Wales helpline on 0808 808 7777 (open on Mondays and Tuesday between 10am and 4pm)

• Wales Dementia Helpline on 0808 808 2235

Talk to other carers

Sharing experiences with other carers can be a great support as they understand what you're going through. You can also share tips and advice.
If it's difficult for you to be able to attend regular carers groups, join one of the online forums:

• Carers UK forum

• Alzheimer's Society Talking Point forum

• Carers Wales Listening Support Service available in English or Welsh

If you're struggling to cope

Carers often find it difficult to talk about the stress involved with caring. If you feel like you're not managing, don't feel guilty. There's help and support available.
You may benefit from counselling or another talking therapy, which may be available online.
Talk to your GP or if you prefer, you can refer yourself directly to a psychological therapies service.

When you say that you 'don't know how to sort it out', are you referring to your eating and sleeping problems, or is something else on your mind?

I definitely think that you should check in with your GP and let them know about what's been going on if possible. I'd mention your eating and sleeping problems, financial stress, mental ill health, and caring responsibilities. 

Is anyone in your support network, such as other family, friends, or a partner, able to offer you some emotional or practical support when you need it?

SueHeath

Bless you @pinklady25 I know you have had a lot on your plate and the work situation as not helped at all, what's the new boss and new staff's attitudes like with you now.
I really do feel for you with looking after Mom, dementia is hard work and you don't get much happyiness or distraction when your at work at the moment.
I so agree with Tori and Sandy don't let things get out of control see your Doctor and the new boss xx

janer1967

Sorry things are getting on top of you but try remember you are doing a great job caring for your mum which can't be easy 

Although you enjoy working it maybe time to think about yourself now and take away the stress work is causing 

I'm sure with your knowledge you know how to handle the work situation but it could be best to leave the issues to your manager to sort 

I agree see your gp and ask for some help maybe a bit of respite for mum could help both of you 

pinklady25

I have spoken to my union rep and he has said that the company I work for have no respect for the union and dont accept talking to the union  I have a contract I signed when I first started working for them but never given a Copy they do what they want when they want  and we don't get wage slips bit they do pay my pension and things 

I have now been told I am not working Fridays and Saturday nights anymore I am working Sunday and Monday  night  because he said those nights are less busy  but it doesn't matter what night you work there is still lots to do and whoever works Friday and  Saturday nights will still have the same problem they still won't get all the jobs done customers are complaining because the Welsh and English staff are being sacked or leaving because how things are and being replaced with foreign nationals from siri Lanka  that are all on student visas for two years that doesn't bother me ism happy to work with anyone but it's just awful how we are all being treated 

I now have to work Sunday and Monday which means I won't get paid until 26th August because thst is the start of a new week I won't get paid this week because I was off last week I cant pay my bills I have no food and I dont know what to do 

My union rep said they could be trying to sack me so I have to tread careful at the moment I am the only white woman working one of the other night staff have left because they haven't been paid sick pay  he has been with the company two years and is Welsh a foreign national has replaced him 

I have to work because of my rent agreement and to make my rent up  I get 164.00 a week  but off sick last week  and now I won't get paid next week its to much of a loss even with my universal credit i am nearly 400 00 down plus universal credit are takeing 60.00 off me which I am disputing as its 20 years  old and was already dealt with now 20 yes later it has come back 

My mum is deteriorating I have no support apart from when the carers have my mum when I work my brother has power of attorney and won't help with extra money  I pay 100.00 myself for mums care as he will only pay 400 00 a week even though its mum's money he pays 80 00 to mum on Mondays and Thursdays towards shopping gas electric water and counciol tax and out of that is mums pocket money when she goes out on Monday tuesday and Thursday 

I know how to deal with most of it but even my union rep said he can't help me eith my job my job is causing most of my problems but I am 59 I need to work two nights I can't work in the day and this job I do now is what I need and is perfect for what I need but I got all this added stress 

janer1967

No point paying union fees if they can't help you 

What is the structure like in the company any hr involvement or area manager ? 

Not much you can do if you are off sick as you won't have been off long enough for ssp 

You should get more uc if you get nil payment from work 

Are there any food banks to help with food 

Can you not explain to your brother due to increase cist of living you cant support your mum on the money he is allocating 

pinklady25

@janer1967 where I work is complicated rontec is the main company  but they have self employed people running their businesses across England and Wales the petrol station has different franchise the shop part is a different franchise to the petrol they sell thats another franchise we are all franchise the name over the door is franchise none of us know who we work for the union said the only time thry can approach any one is if they can see my contract know who I work for  and see my payslips I havent had any payslips since we have been back when we get paid in the bank its a completely different name altogether and my pension being paid  is also another different name 

I dont know if you can answer the question @janer1967 can my boss just phone me and tell me I have been changed to Sunday and Monday nights without proper notice and not told the reason why even though he knows I won't get paid until the 26th August putting me under financial pressure 

My wages are paid at 164.00 a week  my gas electric water and counciol tax are paid weekly out of my wages 

My universal credit pays my 740.00 a month rent and my pip pays my car insurance and tax and my phone bills and my monthly shop and other small bills I pay 

The money my brother pays my mum is in with the weekly bills I cant get any benefits for my mum she has attendance allowance which is part of the money my brother gives my mum 

I have been trying to find a job that allows me to do two nights but there is nothing  my union rep told me to either leave or tread careful 

Changing what nights I do is only  a concern because I am loseing another weeks wages I spoke to universal credit and she said with the loss of two weeks wages is going to have a major impact  and is going to put me behind on all my bills which will impact me going forward as I am loseing over 300 in a month which I will have to catch up on 

SueHeath

Don't answer me if you don't want to @pinklady25 but what happens with your Mom's pension - is that used for you both living in the same house.

janer1967

Just because you have changed days shouldn't mean you will lose money it will just be paid on a later date which I understand will cause you problems if your bills are weekly but one weeks wages lost is due to your sickness 

As for them changing your days it would depend on what it says in your contract but normal practice is that they request you to change if you agree thats fine 

If not they can end old contract giving notice as per your contract notice period and offer you new contract on new hours 

If you agree to new contract it starts after notice period is over of you don't agree contract is terminated at end of notice period 

However this company whoever it is doesn't seem seem to follow normal good practise 

I'm not sure how franchise work but would think there is an umbrella of policies each owner has to follow if you know who the franchise company is that could be a start point 

pinklady25

Thanks for your reply @janer1967
Today i had a phone call from my boss telling me not to text him only speak on the phone to him and not to email either  but is paying me holiday pay for the Friday and Saturday I am not working this week so I won't lose wages and don't know how but he is paying me sick pay this Friday so I don't lose money even though I know I am not entitled 

I didnt get asked I got told my hours were changing I didn't have a choice  i asked for my contract but didn't get given it we don't get pay slips and none of us know who we work for 

We don't get the normal verbal warnings written warnings  meetings people are just sacked or people have enough and leave 

At the moment because I don't know where to go with it who to tell that this is happening to us in this day and age its horrible but at the moment all I can do is keep my mouth shut do my job go home and hope I keep my job he knows I am not  stupid the union rep said that my boss more than likely sees me as a threat and if he cant keep me under control will sack me  it doesn't sit right with me but I cant afford to lose my job at this moment unless I can help help from somewhere 

pinklady25

@Biblioklept my rent is 740 00  uc pay 550.00 I pay the rest we have worked my wages and my uc out I am allowed to earn 345.00 mu uc is 1,20.00 before deductions with deductions I get 800.00  that covers my rent and short fall  my wages are 164.00 weekly I didn't get paid this week so I lost 164.00 this week so no weekly bills have been paid the way it stood I wouldn't have got paid next week  but if he keeps his word he is paying me sick pay Friday and next Friday paying holiday pay but I have to wait and see what he does 

pinklady25

@SueHeath my mums pension is paid into her account  she has a very large private pension but my brother is power of attorney and controls all her finances and there is nothing I can do 

All my life I have been controlled and now it's still happening at home and in work and there is nothing I can do about it 

janer1967

It is good he is paying you at least that's a worry off your mind and a gesture of goodwill on his part tho you will lose 2 days holiday but small price to pay 

I can understand about the contact as he doesn't have to provide email contact or any personal contact details 

Verbal warning no longer exist the first stage is now written warning 

Is the business registered with a vat number this could help trace owner or chamber of commerce could help 

I agree boss prob realises you have some knowledge so is treading careful but waiting for you to slip up in some way 

Have you contacted acas for advice 

pinklady25

@janer1967 I spoke to acas and they are aware of what goes on but never been able to do anything without proof most people have either been sacked  or left 

They said same as the union not alot they can do without my contract or anything in writing to say what he is doing everything is verbal and no proof of anything one person got sacked last week verbaly no warning and they have been working 5 years with them before the new build  he went to the union and they couldn't do anything because he had no proof and when the rep phoned he said that the person walked out 

The manager doesn't help us or support us anymore like she used to but she has been given more hours and a pay rise and just agrees with everything he says  and told me to get through the next  couple of days do my new shifts  and  go home and ignore everything else that's going on  so  not alot I can do realy 

Thanks for your help and advice @janer1967 means alot 

janer1967

There are some circumstances where they can dismiss without any warnings eg for gross misconduct 

I'm not suggesting this is the case but just for your info 

It may be best you can do is just do your job and unless you are affected by any malpractice personally then leave it for others to deal with their own individual issues 

I may not sound the right thing but think you are hitting a brick wall 

Look for another job there will be other night shift petrol jobs or something else 

SueHeath

The reason your boss doesn't want you to communicate via text or email @pinklady25 is because that could be used as proof of miss conduct - so if i was you and you have to have an official answer i would put it in words. Like Jane said try and look for another night job or just keep your head down and go with the flow.

Does your brother know every think that's going on, perhaps he could/would give you some help or advice x

pinklady25

Thanks everyone  @janer1967 where I live there are only three 24hr garages  and all under rontec and they are in the same position as we are  I am the only woman as normal staff and the manager he needs her because  he doesn't know how to do alot of things he has changed my shifts whilst she was on holiday 

The one who was working with me who isn't from here as we had two working because it was so busy Fridays and Saturdays has taken my hours but he never appears on the rota we have a weekly rota but there are gaps where people we know work there aren't on the rota 

The problem I have is the carers who work for mum can only work certain nights Friday and Saturdays were perfect Sunday is ok but not ideal as the carer works Monday morning but they do sleep whilst looking after mum they have their own room and same as Monday night the carer is working next morning  so I am restricted both ways of finding another job plus my disability most night jobs are heavy lifting I don't want to go back into care because I look after mum with dementia 

I got paid 76.00 today  better than nothing and he said he will pay me holiday pay next week so will have to wait and see because I work nights I don't have to see the boss and now I have been changed to Sunday and Monday I will be working on my own again so it will be better 

I only see the staff I take off at ten the sad part about it I used to work for morrisons and this wouldn't be allowed what's happening to us but we are only a morrisons daily but we still wear their uniform  so it will still look bad on them 

It doesn't sit right with me but a job is a job and if I can sit tight for another year  abd hope ge doesn't try and sack me before then I can take him to tribunal depending on the reason he sacks me I will keep trying to find another job  though 

Where I work is a close community and they always ask about the regular staff  but they can see that we are being replaced and have been complaining  we were a realy busy petrol ststion before the new build and customers kept asking if the regular staff would still be here 

Customers have started dropping off that we're regulars because they have their favourite staff I am one of the popular members and when I didn't work last week there was a drop of takeings we have to do reports so we always know what we take on our shifts once the summer passing trade slows down we will see the difference we lost alot of trade because they took the lorry and coach pump away its just sad that this kind of thing still happens in this day and age and there is nothing I can do about it 

All these new people are on student visas I don't realy understand how it works with studying and working and how many hours are they allowed to work and are they allowed to work whilst I am still working there I will have to just keep my head down and just work but doesn't that make me look as bad as them allowing it to happen 

janer1967

I understand its not an ideal situation and is frustrating you can't seem to do anything about it 

Student visa used to allow them to work 20 hours per week but I would have to check if its changed 

I wish I could help more 

Was the change of ownership part of a tupe transfer if so your previous contract and rights should have been protected under tupe regulations 

Do you know any management in the morrisons structure who was involved in the takeover they may be able to help 

If you are dismissed you don't always have to wait a year for tribunal if its case of unlawful dismissal 

I don't know where else to direct you to did you check out vat registration to see if you can fund out owner 

pinklady25

Thanks @janer1967 there is no out right owner its realy complicated I will keep looking for another job whilst I am still working for them and just keep my head down for now apart from the union I don't know who else to turn to 

The ones working on student visa all work 40 hrs or more and all over 30 and have to renew every 2 years but can only stay 4 years  but they get paid cash in hand and they never appear on the rota and one of the others had to do something on the works computer and it was left open on staff who are suposed to work at our petrol station there were 22 employees on there and we only have 8 so its way above my head what's going on here 

As soon as I can get out I will  but until I get another job I can't afford to 

janer1967

@pinklady25 I have checked and it is 20 hours per week maximum work on student visa and it can't be carried over from one week to another or averaged out 

As for the age of them you yourself are a mature student so it isn't unheard of 

However that is how they get into our system and then find employers like yours who pay cash in hand to hide their working 

Both parties are acting against the legality of their visa 

I would even go as far to say they are probably not even studying and have false documents showing they are registered with a higher level education establishment 

You could report.your concerns to home office for investigation 

I would stay put get your head down collect any relevant evidence without putting yoyeself at risk then if you get another job then report