How would you see my experience with mainstream dating apps and disabled dating? — Scope | Disability forum
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How would you see my experience with mainstream dating apps and disabled dating?

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Splatmate24
Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
in Dating, sex, and relationships
I been on different dating sites and some dating site were disabled dating or learning disabilities dating.  One learning disability dating agency called Love 2meat. It wasn't successful . The other dating sites didn't have any age range restated. If you put your age range 20 to 25 years old only but did get a lot of older men that were very past my age. Then I decided to go on badly and see how it was and it was a bit better compared to the other one that I was trying. I like having a lot of safety different features. I can only text guys that that I am being matched with. Only one guy not yet replied after set up to meet up in costa coffee at home. I send one text Hi, how's it going ,do you still want to meet up on Sunday? I also has been texting another guys just in case if anything go wrong with guy could meet up.  Also badoo is does tell users are online by a green circle lights. 
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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,493 Disability Gamechanger
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    Fingers crossed he'll get back to you in time for Sunday @Splatmate24 :) 
    National Campaigns Officer, she/her

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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @Tori_Scope, hasn't reply any of my text . after try to set up to meetup but I am still not sure if could get stood up.  has always been seen offline.
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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,493 Disability Gamechanger
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    It can be hard to tell why people don't reply @Splatmate24. If it were me, I'd considering leaving it until Saturday night, or Sunday morning, and then check whether he still wanted to meet up. 
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @Tori_Scope. I am not sure about. I told my mum about also and she sent is weird to stop reply? when you to plan to meetup. is also happen more Onces. did happen with one guy on Facebook didn't want to meetup kept making up excuse. one guy that kept missing each video calls when did plan and set time. i don't anything different.  only met up with one guy but wasn't that interested in him at all on disabled dating sites. 
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    Update I let the guy know that sent one text I might not be able to make it today. since my parents will not reply to my text yet. were about meetup at 2:00pm but that already gone now.  at staying at my grandparents at the moment. 
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  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,060 Scope online community team
    edited November 2022
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    Did you meet up today @Splatmate24?
    Community Manager
    Scope
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @Adrian_Scope. nope didn't meetup since plans did change. sent a text I couldn't make today.
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  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,912 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @Splatmate24

    Sorry to hear you were unable to make your date. Have you been in contact to set up another time?
    Hannah - She / Her

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @Hannah_Scope nope didn't plan another date. 
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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
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    How are you feeling about not planning another date at the moment @Splatmate24? We are here for you and listening to you if you would like to share more with us  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    Is didn't happen since i found out he has a girlfriend through snapchat and blocked him after that . I am more the one dating sites . I am on Facebook dating and on Badoo . kept seeing lots of red flags with some guys that i start to message .
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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,493 Disability Gamechanger
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    Ah, that's a shame @Splatmate24! But there are plenty more fish in the sea, as they say. And it can be worth trusting your gut when it comes to sensing red flags :) 
    National Campaigns Officer, she/her

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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @Tori_Scope. that one problem that I can see more red flags a lot more now days. not many green flags yet. are just tons of red flags. some were clear and other were not clear.  hasn't seen many green flags with guys that i been message .
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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
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    I would challenge if that's a problem or a strength @Splatmate24. Red flags can help us to know when something is not right! 

    Though, you deserve to see more green flags. Please don't hesitate to let us know if you want to talk this through further with us or if we can do anything else to support you.

    We are all here for you and listening to you. You don't have to face this, or anything else, alone if you don't want to.

    Take care for now and we will look forward to, hopefully, hearing from you again soon  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @L_Volunteer that was lots of reds.  I would like to see greener flag.  are that also amber flags that are not sure if are red flags or green flags. 
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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
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    I hear you @Splatmate24. You deserve to see greener flags too.

    Would you like to share the amber flags with us? We can talk it through further with you if this is something you would find useful  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
    edited January 2023
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    L_Volunteer Amber flags could turn into red flag or maybe  not  . just green flags are great and ready and no red flags .  

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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
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    I hear you @Splatmate24 and you are completely right that amber flags could, unfortunately, turn into red flags.

    It is difficult to know whether they will or won't in advance though. All you can do is continue to listen to yourself and those signals. 

    Any luck with green flags yet? Thinking of you and wishing you the best of luck  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @L_Volunteer just one green flag but just from one guy that i been texting that i met off a dating app called chat & date made by the same brand of badoo . other one was too busy . I can find people easy on mainstream dating then i have try disabled dating sites but too many older guys that not in my age range . My mum still prefer to used disabled dating sites but i seem to get  inappropriate men message me .  also some guy knew they were too old for me but still left a message and  didn't act their age . I'm not interested in having immature person or older guys . disabled dating site is more uncomfortable and i can blocked them but feature doesn't work properly since i still get message by guys that i already blocked . with mainstream i can blocked instant and they stay blocked and can't message me


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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
    edited February 2023
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    The green flag sounds great @Splatmate24, though I can hear you would preferably have more green flags from more people and from more apps.

    Are you able to talk to your mum about your preferences? I can hear that you might have different preferences to your mum. 

    I can hear how you are repeatedly receiving contact from older guys who are not in your age range or contact from people not acting their age.

    It is really positive that you have boundaries in place. Boundaries are really important for taking care of yourself and staying safe.

    Hopefully, you will receive more age-appropriate contact soon. It sounds like this might add to your green flags  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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