Mandatory reconsideration rejected rant

I am so very sorry @mangomungo that you're struggling so severely. SERIOUS TRIGGER WARNING I understand because I have had severe depression at certain times including taking an overdose and serious planning. When I wasn't housebound I wasn't safe to go out at all for 7 weeks as I would have gone to the train station or river, I'd googled a lot to do with those, I won't say here what but quite terrifying where my mind took me but PLEASE STAY HOME when you don't feel safe and ring Samaritans and come on here or ring SCOPE helpline.

Two little practical thoughts that you may not have the energy for today but might be able to consider on a better day for you. (Sorry talking about myself but there are 2 points you made similar to my situation).

My physiotherapist lied and mocked me as did an OT. I have typed up my complaint to the NHS CEO, 6 pages long so far. My friend said he won't read it if too long/cut it down to 1 page. I agreed but no, I don't agree now, I need to tell him what was said otherwise there's no point in writing so I'm going to. It's took me since October so I'm hoping to finish it in April (this year!). I will be putting all that in my review for PIP when it comes up..…PLEASE do not let liars get the last word, we can challenge/call them out, in several ways. I realised it's crucial to follow up on it because, although I sound dramatic, it could make a difference to my survival in a year or two.

Secondly, I was assessed for counselling in Dec and been on a waiting list, my appt was yesterday. When the lady rang turns out she was a Psychological Wellbeing Practitioner and thought she was going to do CBT/goal setting etc. I nearly lost it as I was crystal clear in Dec I need counselling. CBT is not safe for me anyway she was a bit miffed saying she doesn't want to waste my time or hers (er, I don't want them making me unsafe) and she's asking her supervisor now whether I can have counselling or not as because my anxiety is high, that normally rules it out. As I have CPTSD I have to protect my mental wellbeing. A lot of these PWP's are not very well qualified or experienced and after what ive gone through (mentally) i am not agreeable to engaging when it will put my mental health at huge risk. Is it worth you going back to your mental health provider/IAPT or GP to insist its counselling you need and not CBT?

You do not have to worry about any of the above today, give yourself time to gather your energy and be kind to yourself today, tomorrow, because you matter and your family matters. You can deal with preparing for Tribunal in the weeks to come and please consider who you can get to help too with that (I got help off the money and benefits dept at my housing dept/council). Sending much love and hugs to you and very warmest wishes x

@mangomungo thank you and please don't apologise for long post, and I hear you, every point and your comment re 'that's the procedure' (re CBT etc) just goes to show there's nothing holistic or individualised in any way. It is very sad; my experiences have made me feel as if there's no hope at times (with counselling etc) I sometimes think a lot of them are just not fit for purpose and they don't listen and too many have caused harm to me so I'm trying to rely on myself (and a few charity helplines etc).

I'll try not to be too long with this I don't want to tire you. I just want to say that at 62, I have had very many huge, seemingly insurmountable challenges at times. A really big one was 15 years ago when I was out of work for 3 years because of severe depression, on benefits and I felt absolutely lost. By some miracle I ended up doing nurse training and had a good career which I loved for 12 years until Covid got me badly. My point is I didn't get to that training because of counselling/help etc but from my inner spirit and some inner strength that I didn't know I had. I think we all have that inner strength and life has a funny way of both throwing us major curveballs, but then somehow 'righting' itself. I won't work again and am still a work in progress as to my own ability to adapt, survive and maybe even thrive at some point. And that's where I get hope from, just from within little old me.

I do hope you take it to Tribunal (it took 18 months from my first contact to my Tribunal date and it was 12 months from the MR date) so was a while but am glad I did even though was lower rate for daily living it still made a big difference as I'm sure it would for you.

Please rest, take good care and also please know that an awful lot of people care about you, especially including on here ❤️ 🙏 x

I hope you have a restful, peaceful evening too @mangomungo .

It is deeply saddening to me that you've not received the intensive help you need, and you know better than anyone else what that is, but for so long too since being a young teenager, it's just heartbreaking. Whether you work eventually or bringing up your family, you will find the path that's right for you, your health is the most, very important and precious thing to protect, especially your mental health. I've learned that a bit late in life. But in the meantime rest as best you can, conserve your energy to just get safely through each day. Knowing now, as i do, what you've shared gives me so much more determination to fight the proposed changes and cuts. You deserve so, so much better than what you've experienced so far.

I've not been able to think straight for the last week (health and noise at home) but I'm going to give myself a talking to so that I get back on track by Easter! With my very warmest wishes ❤️ 🙏 xx