Mental health

In all honesty today I’m struggling, feel kicked in, want to cry, just want to curl up in a ball and never uncurl again. I’ve just had a phone meeting with a dr from the mental health team and it’s just completely wiped every ounce of energy out of me both mentally and physically. I just told him about my absolute fight to be heard, to get the right help and support and how severely lacking it is and how shocking a time I’ve had just trying to get my voice heard the last five years. Living with BPD, ADHD, Autism, Depression and Anxiety then chuck in multiple physical health conditions means every second of the day is a fight to survive. 😢

I did restart counselling again last week, only to have the rug pulled on Monday as they couldn’t understand why I was with there service due me being under secondary care, but the counsellor said after talking to her supervisor that they both agreed due to my BPD, being under secondary care and the complex situation I’m in that there not the right service for me at this time, of which I agreed.

Speaking to the Dr today and I’ve got so emotional, angry, worked up, struggled to get my words out and couldn’t put things into perspective.

He suggested that I ring a thing called - Living With Autism for there help and gave me there phone number, only to find out it doesn’t exist anymore and the phone number is out of use 😔

why is it always one shuffle forward, then like a bungee cord your bounced back to the beginning again. Just have no fight in me anymore, I said to the Dr that I feel like if been in a boxing match with all the heavy weight boxing greats. 

I’ve asked again to be referred to an advocacy place so that someone can speak on my behalf as I just struggle so bad to get my words out, my thoughts and points across to. 

Im talking myself out of going to Cape Verde next year due to my mental and physical health as I just feel so embarrassed and ashamed of who this person is that’s sat writing this message as in all honesty I don’t know who it is. 

I just want to shuffle off into the hills…

Hi Bluebell - Thank You 💚

I’m just despondent at the moment, to have a Dr at the mental health team give out an association that even the duty worker when I rang up said he hadn’t heard of for a few years shocked me! He said I better pass on the information to the Dr in case he has passed it onto other patients. It just beggars belief that Mental Health experts give out, outdated information which is concerning and just shows a failed system.