How is your day going?
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I had a panic attack and just woke up. i checked my bank app and i got a payment from UC.
Now i had also one payment a few days ago of New Style ESA. .Now are both payments suppose to be equal amounts or two different amounts to make it to 609 pounds. My first payment from ESA was 281.10 so i suppose the other payment will be of 327.9 right. because if the second payment is also of 281.10 i will be losing money. my universal credit says i will be getting 609 on esa. so i hope this is the case.. this is just too much anxiety it creates anxiety over and over again. i asked in my journal about the deduction of my payment if the money i had is not accounted for a year.. they said you will not have the money taken in one some itll will be split in small payments.. . but i do not get it. until this month pass i will not be sure how much money i will be getting. so distressing. i hope i will be able to go back to sleep.
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another message i wrote down … it seems to have disappeared. and it was an important message anyway…. thisis geting very frustrating. i save the comment and it goes.. that was an important message. i might have to reduce the messages i write down if it keeps happening. i do not understand why it is happening. the second short message i sent it was saved. i hope this is is also saved.
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and that short message also disappeared. iam just feel like i need a break. that was a very important message. i have done nothing to my computer or my phone and i just do not understand why it is happening . i will try to go back and write that important message tomorrow. well in a few hours time. … very distressing
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Good morning all
I feel lethargic and sluggish this morning
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good morning everyone how's everyone doing?
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Good morning . I had a terrible night. I am feeling very tired but I' have stuff to do today.. I will try to rewrite the long message a wrote down and it disappeared. Anyways... I am feeling really dowm and hopeless I hope my volunteering day makes it a bit better but I don't feel like dealing with another long day.
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Morning all
The dull weather is dull
I have woken up feeling tired
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hey, i seem to have still on going problem with me and my mum and so far when i talk to peple at work on wednesday is ended make me feel even more worst . one of member of staff always agree with my mum more then me . then i already feel even more anxious and stress .
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No heatwave here
Sun only just got out
21 degrees
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I'm lonely
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It is at times hard to deal with everything. Monday's is only for us so no clients. We create workshop well we think of workshops etc.. it is rather difficult to deal with people at times I do not want to wake up it is hard.. yesterday I had a message written here and the message disappeared in thin air. Now I am worry on why do messages disappear... It is all a struggle and for some people is ok for me is a mountain...
I am having a rough time now because my GP is giving me a hard time. I feel like I might be forced to stop my medication. Why is he doing this to me. I have no more energy left. .. I hope he does. But I do not trust him.. i am not sure what will happen if i am being forced to stop my medication. anyway .. nothing seem to be ok.. and i just can not have more in my plate.
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Afternoon everyone ☺️ It's very hot here, and supposed to get hotter tomorrow. Glad some of you have cooler weather as this isn't nice!
Sorry to hear you're struggling with your mum even at work @Katiedimelow20, that must be tough to deal with.
Hope you're okay @Amberpearl, will you be seeing any family this week?
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@Santosha12 it is not easy.. today is ok because is for us only for volunteers workers etc… but on wednesday is different a busy day with loads of people i hope it will be quiet but i do not know. i have to force myself to do all these. otherwise i would not leave home. it is not easy. i was feeling so so today but now as i am back home alone it is back to getting depressed etc.. i try to be mentally prepared before i leave home etc… but yes it is very difficult. i guess if i only stay at home it would be worse. so even when i am not volunteering i try to be out rather than at home. but every day is a struggle.. so i am not sure how i will be tomorrow. a day at a time.
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No
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Hopefully you'll see them soon @Amberpearl, do you keep in touch by texting at all?
How do your cats deal with the weather when it's hot? Do they like it, or do they all get a bit overheated?
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@Rosie_Scope . i seem to only really struggle with work on wednesday with not getting not good night sleep and ended crying at work and one member of staff to hug me but i did panicked and ended crying to tried to the situation but one member of staff put the blame on me that i trying to blame my mum and that part that did panicked . my mum also just make even worst me and i always angry at my mum to and doesn't help with i only problems one member of staff at work only on wednesday . i get overwhelm easy, easy to panic and als well of crying almost all times when I'm talking .
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i am going to try to relax now. i hope tomorrow i will feel ok. i am meaning to go out for a bit even though i probably will be back home in the afternoon.. i do not care anymore what will it happen to me. i am really tired of fighting.
my pharmacy knows i am on emergency medication and my clinic too because i emailed them. so if he refuses to top it up will be his fault if i have a problem by stopping it all of a sudden. but as i said i do not care anymore. sick of fighting if it is not for one thing is for another. anyway tomorrow will be another day. hope you have good night…
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good morning everyone
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I'm going to have a restfulday today.
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Good morning all, how's everyone doing today?
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